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Kia ora, Hello! I’m Ruth Vercoe, a teacher-turned-mum, here on a mission to demystify Child’s Play through understanding play schemas. If you’ve ever found yourself asking, 'Why is my child doing that?'—whether it’s throwing their soft toys, hiding stones around the house, or lining up their crayons —then you’re in the right place, and certainly not alone. Here, we’ll explore the magic of play through the lens of play schemas—those hidden repeated patterns in your child’s behaviour that hold ...
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Narcissist Apocalypse is a Purple Ribbon Award-winning storytelling podcast that amplifies the voices of those who have experienced narcissistic abuse, coercive control, emotional abuse, domestic violence, family relationship abuse, and relationship trauma. Our guests share their stories of abuse survival, providing a source of validation, education, inspiration, and hope for those going through similar experiences. Join us and discover how you, too, can overcome the narcissist apocalypse.
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The Codependent Perfectionist is a series on the dynamics of codependency and perfectionism. Alana self identifies as the Codependent Perfectionist, giving you a mix of psychoeducation and anecdotes from her own work as a therapist to understand how these issues play out in everyday life. Contact Alana: [email protected], alanacarvalho.com or following on Instagram thecodependentperfectionist for any questions or comments!
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Damn Good Interior Designer

Cheryl Kees Clendenon and Liz Lapan

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Join Cheryl Kees Clendenon and Liz Lapan, the dynamic duo behind the visionary and integrator balancing all the moving parts of a full service interior design firm in their no-nonsense and thought-provoking podcast, the Damn Good Designer. Each episode is full of damn good truths and real talk as they share invaluable insights on how to run and build a successful business while challenging the norms, the industry, each other and YOU. Emphasizing a business-savvy approach, Cheryl and Liz take ...
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Leighton talks about being raised by a predator father. From the moment Leighton was born, her dad used her as either a pawn or a prop for his nefarious needs. Leighton's dad was part grifter, part abuser, part predator, and because of that, Leighton lived her life in constant chaos. Leighton lived a lonely…
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How does play shape your child’s speech and language? If you’ve ever wondered whether those endless games of peek-a-boo, block towers, or toy tea parties actually do anything for your child’s speech development, you’re not alone. In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play | Play Schemas, we’re unpacking the fascinating connection between play and…
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One of the the biggest challenges designers face with managing client expectations is how to stop overpromising and start being intentional with your process. After a recent coaching call with one of our designers, Liz had the idea to create this podcast based on why intentionality is more than just “showing up with a good attitude”. Instead, you s…
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Brandon talks with Katrina about being raised by a hostile abusive mother. Katrina discusses her mother’s childhood instability, abandonment, insecurity issues, as well as the abuse she inflicted on her. Katrina recounts her own traumatic experiences, including physical and emotional abuse, and her struggle…
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Kate shares her story of dating a destabilizing narcissistic abuser. Kate met her abuser at a musical jam, and they hit it off instantly. The relationship progressed quickly, with Kate finding herself at her abuser's home five days a week. From there, Kate's abuser hijacked her time, manipulating her into s…
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Ever felt like baking with your toddler is more mess than magic? You’re not alone. But what if I told you that the flour on the floor and the endless stirring are actually signs of learning in action? In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, I share the 10 main play schemas and how they show up while baking gingerbread with your little one. Fr…
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Brandon interviews Ella about her struggle to escape a critical financial abuser. The episode centers on how, after an initial period of love bombing, Ella lost her sense of stability as her husband's financial control, accusations, and attacks on her parenting left her constantly on edge. Plus, Ella discus…
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Bay talks about her abusive relationship with a serial cheater. At the beginning of Bay's 27-year relationship, her husband said and did everything right. However, once they married, subtle signs of abuse slowly appeared. And like the frog in a boiling pot of water, Bay was being cooked alive, and she didn'…
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Ever thought about baking with your toddler but stopped yourself because of the mess, the chaos, or the fear it’ll all go wrong? You’re not alone. Many parents love the idea of baking with their kids but find the reality overwhelming. Flour on the floor, sticky fingers everywhere, and a kitchen that looks like a tornado hit... sound familiar? Bakin…
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Liz is going solo again and giving you her expertise into the art of handling new lead calls with intention and strategy. Liz handles our discovery calls at In Detail and we do a great job at converting our prospective clients because it is not about rattling off your services or rushing into pricing—it’s about active listening. By asking the right…
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Hope shares her story of marrying a grandiose, entitled abuser. Hope met her future husband at a church event, initially impressed by his charisma. Their relationship quickly progressed, leading to a whirlwind engagement and marriage. But once they were married, Hope’s husband began to control her in every …
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Veronica shares her tumultuous journey of surviving a coercive relationship that began in her teens and extended into her college years. From the first blush of teenage love to the terrifying descent into verbal abuse and sexual coercion, Veronica's story is an eye-opening account of the devastating effects…
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Feeling overwhelmed after birth? You’re not alone. In this week’s episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, I’m joined by Jade from Your Mama Journey. A mum, an accredited mental health social worker, and the creator of beautiful guided journals designed to help women reflect on their birth and postpartum journeys. Like many of us, Jade expected her bi…
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Brandon talks to Jimmy about his marriage to a raging abuser. Jimmy grew up in a restrictive society, and due to his sexual orientation, he became a reliable community member to survive. When he arrived in the United States, Jimmy began a relationship with his future abuser and felt seen like he had never f…
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Dakota shares her story of dating a hero playing abuser. After years of battling alcohol addiction, Dakota was finally sober. She was living in a women's home, going to meetings, and taking long bus rides to see her beautiful child. Then one day, the abuser who pretended to be her hero, showed up to her mee…
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Parenting twins is a beautiful gift but, it can also feel overwhelming. From double nappies to double tantrums, everything feels doubled. And when it comes to sharing, many parents wonder: Should twins always share? What if they’re constantly fighting over the same toy? How do I teach fairness without endless meltdowns? In this episode of Demystify…
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Little did we know our Pricing and Salary Survey results were going to give us great nuggets of information that we could share for many future podcasts to come! One of the biggest challenges we found designers face is defining their product. Too often, “full-service design” means something different to every designer—and that inconsistency makes i…
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Brandon interviews Barbie about growing up with two abusive parents. Barbie describes the emotional and physical trauma inflicted by her parents, their manipulative gaslighting, and their lack of empathy. She explains her survival strategies, such as overachieving and seeking approval from men. It’s a story…
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Sharon shares her life full of trauma. Sharon experienced two traumatic life-altering events by the age of 9. The after effects of these events reverberated throughout her life. Sharon became extremely self-sacrificing, felt that she didn't matter, and feared abandonment. In both of her abusive relationship…
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Messy play can feel like chaos… but what if it’s actually one of the best things you can do for your child’s learning, confidence, and connection? In this episode, I sit down with Sam, founder of Messy Mates, to talk about the hidden magic of messy play and how parents can make it easier (and less stressful!) to bring into everyday life. What we co…
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In this episode of narcissist apocalypse, Brandon talks to Peter about his traumatic experiences being raised by a physically abusive dad, and his abusive romantic relationship with a controlling financial abuser. It’s a story of fear, survival, isolation, control, trauma, physical abuse, sexual abuse, sexual assault, support networks, financial ab…
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Brandon discusses the triangulation tactics of Lundy Bancroft's 9 abuser types and the abusive parent/child triangulation types. Plus he discusses, shame, guilt, fear, gaslighting, manipulation, passive aggression, flying monkeys, victim playing, love bombing, hoovering, and much more. If you want to be a g…
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Bringing a new baby into the world is magical, but it can also feel overwhelming. Between sleepless nights, adjusting to life as a bigger family, and trying to find time for yourself, it’s easy for mums to feel stretched thin. That’s why this week, I’m joined by Ally from @EntwinedParenting, who shares her 5 top tips for welcoming a newborn into th…
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Kitchen and bath design must be treated — and priced — as the high-level specialty it is. These are not "just another room" — instead, they are some of the most complex, high-stakes, and profitable part of your business if you treat it that way. Too many designers undervalue their skills, we discuss how flat fees protect both your expertise and you…
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Pam shares her experience of being married to a jealous partner. Pam was a rule follower, and her new partner gave her permission to stop following everyone else’s rules, only to manipulate her into following his. And after Pam got pregnant, her life became a roller coaster of abuse that she couldn’t escape…
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Brandon talks to Jody Bauer, a divorce coach and consultant, about CPTSD, clarity, body responses to stress, and the complexities of high-conflict divorce cases. To contact Jody Bauer, go to https://www.solidarityconsulting.com If you want to be a guest on our survivor story podcast, please ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠…
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If you’re a parent of a toddler or preschooler and you’ve got a newborn on the way, you already know it’s about to be a season of big feelings, big changes, and a whole lot less sleep. Between preparing the cot, stocking up on nappies, and navigating your own emotions, it’s easy to wonder: How will my little one cope when the baby arrives? In this …
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Amy talks about her marriage to an emotionally abusive man with double standards. Initially, Amy found her husband charming and supportive. However, his increasing hostility, demands, know-it-all nature, victim playing, and lack of contribution to household responsibilities began to take their toll. And des…
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Brandon and his old pal Melissa, listen and read letters that our community sent in about domestic violence, narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse, toxic families, betrayal, and more. If you want to be a guest on our survivor story podcast, please ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or send us an ema…
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Is your home filled with cries of “Muuuum, he took my toy!” or “She wrecked it again!”? If so, you’re definitely not alone and you’re absolutely in the right place. In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play Through Play Schemas, we’re diving deep into a topic every parent of more than one young child knows all too well: sibling conflict. But ins…
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In this Ask and Answered episode, we break down the real reasons flat fees can transform your business—and why hourly billing might be keeping you small. The mindset shift designers need to make is to stop thinking like a technician and start pricing like a CEO. Flat fees protect your time, boost your authority, and create a better experience for y…
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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Sarah shares her story about the psychological, sexual, and financial abuse she endured at the hands of her abusive ex. Sarah describes how her partner used 'logic' to manipulate her into compliance, isolation, feeling powerless, and trapped. It's a story of psychological abuse, coercive control, financial …
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