Want to Quit Drinking? - 9 Mistakes to Avoid!

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!

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I'm Janet Gourand, founder of Tribe Sober and I celebrated my 9th Soberversary on 23rd May, 2024!

Most of our Tribe Sober members know my story – how I quit drinking and started Tribe Sober but as we are getting new podcast listeners every week I’m re-releasing my story along with my Goodbye to Alcohol Letter.

But before that I have some fresh content that will be useful to everyone on this journey….

In this episode:-

Common mistakes when we're trying quit drinking

Mistake number 1 — Waiting for rock bottom

I knew I had a problem but I was in denial for years. Convincing myself that I wasn’t that bad. I couldn’t possibly be an alcoholic because I was holding down a responsible job and raising a family. An alcoholic was that homeless man in the park who had lost everything. That wasn’t me!

Mistake number 2 — Moderation
I spent a decade stuck in the Moderation Trap. Once I’d learned that the low risk limits of alcohol are just one and a half bottles of wine a week I decided that I would drink within those limits. It was only when I tried (and failed) to do that that I realised just how dependent I had become.

Mistake number 3 — Fearing failure

I almost never got started on this life-changing journey because I believed I would fail. I just couldn’t imagine quitting alcohol, never having a drink again. I knew that I had tried (and failed) to moderate my drinking again and again. Surely it would be even harder to quit completely?

Mistake number 4 — Worrying about other people

Peer pressure is powerful. I was trapped in my drinking because I couldn’t bear to peel away from the herd and be different. As an introvert and a people pleaser I didn’t want to be the centre of attention as I was bombarded with questions about why I wasn’t drinking.
Mistake number 5 — Being influenced by marketing
As a teenager I believed that alcohol was cool. Wine became the essential parenting aid as I joined the mommy juice culture. Mid-life challenges needed wine as did juggling a career with family life. Retirement gave me time to relax and drink even more wine!

Mistake number 6 — Waiting for happiness to strike..

I had relied on alcohol to make me feel good for a such a long time that I missed those chemical highs when I stopped. During my first few months of sobriety I didn’t change anything in my life. I just didn’t drink. I expected to feel happy because I was sober. But I didn’t, I felt flat and rather depressed. I learned that I would need a project to keep my happy brain chemicals firing!

Mistake number 7 — Being depressed about quitting
I had to quit for health reasons and was horrified at the prospect of an alcohol free life. I imagined that an alcohol free life would be a grey and boring existence. Alcohol had become so entrenched in my life that I had no idea how I would socialise, relax or have fun without it.

Mistake number 8 — Trying to do it alone

I thought there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t be happy with just “one glass” of wine like some of my friends. I tried (and failed) to quit over and over. I was ashamed of my drinking problem and wanted to fix it myself. I didn’t want to reach out for help or join a community.

LEARNING FROM MISTAKES — 8 TIPS!

TIP NUMBER 1: Do it now! Alcohol dependence is like an
elevator and it’s only going down. The longer you leave it the worse it
will get so if you’re worried about your drinking then Do it Now!

TIP NUMBER 2: Forget Moderation! If you could moderate you would have done it by now. People who can moderate just do it naturally. They might have a glass of champagne at a wedding but alcohol is not really on their radar.

TIP NUMBER 3: Have your reasons ready Just smile and say “I’m taking a break from the booze because I’ve not been sleeping well” and remember it’s not your responsibility to make other people feel comfortable about their drinking!

TIP NUMBER 4: Change your thinking…about drinking Reflect and question the limiting beliefs you hold about alcohol. Do you really need alcohol to have fun, to relax, to console yourself for a difficult day? Explore new ways to manage these situations.

TIP NUMBER 5: Reconfigure your life! When you quit drinking you can’t just leave everything the same. You’ll need to change your routines and get new interests. New hobbies and a new community will keep you happy and engaged.

TIP NUMBER 6: Get excited! Get excited about this life changing opportunity! You are going to look better, feel better, sleep better and be full of energy. Ditching the booze is the best thing we can do for our health and happiness as we get older.

TIP NUMBER 7: Find your People The joy of connecting with others on this journey is that we realise we are NOT alone. 20% of social drinkers will become dependent over the years. There is such power and relief in sharing our stories with others in a community like tribesober.com

TIP NUMBER 8: Progress not Perfection should be your strategy. Some people have many Day Ones but the important thing is to keep trying. Do it in stages. 30 days, 100 days, 6 months and then a year.

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