EP 471: How to Deal with Things You Don't Like About Your Partner with Katie

Over It And On With It

In this episode of Over It and On With It, Christine Hassler coaches Katie, who is struggling with her husband's undiagnosed ADHD and its impact on their relationship. Christine helps Katie reflect on how her husband's behaviors trigger old wounds from her childhood and offers insights into how couples can navigate challenges when their brains and emotional needs function differently. The episode dives deep into relationship dynamics, particularly how unresolved past wounds can surface in present-day partnerships.

Christine encourages listeners to think about their own relationships, especially when they are generally good but contain aspects that are frustrating or triggering. She stresses the importance of taking responsibility for one's own emotional reactions rather than expecting the partner to change or fix things. Additionally, Christine highlights how acceptance of a partner's limitations and clear communication about non-negotiables can strengthen a relationship.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you in a relationship that's generally good but with aspects that bug or trigger you?
• Do you tend to focus on evidence that your partner isn't meeting your expectations?
• How do you handle your emotional reactions when your partner frustrates you?
• What would change in your relationship if you fully accepted your partner for who they are?

Key Insights & AHA's:

• Katie's frustrations with her husband's forgetfulness are linked to her childhood wounds of abandonment and not feeling important.
• Christine helps Katie see that her husband's behavior, including conflict avoidance, may be a result of his trauma, and encourages Katie to approach the situation with more acceptance.
• By focusing on what Katie can control—her own emotional responses—rather than trying to change her husband, she can create more peace within herself.
• Clear communication about non-negotiables, such as her husband seeking treatment, can help Katie and her husband move forward.

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