ADHD, Identity & the Quiet Struggle — with Topeka McClain

Hold My Purse with Rho featuring Aria

When you’ve spent years hearing “try harder” or “you’re just not focused enough,” discovering ADHD later in life can feel both heartbreaking and liberating. In this episode of Hold My Purse: A Self-Care Journey Through Life, I sit down with Topeka McClain, the voice behind The Quiet Struggle, to talk about her late diagnosis of ADHD and how it reshaped her identity as a mother, creative, and professional.

Topeka shares the years of self-doubt, the relief of finally having a name for her experiences, and the systems she’s built to stay grounded—like lists, brain dumps, and visual planning. We talk about masking in corporate spaces, emotional regulation, and what it means to pursue ambition while raising a family. At the heart of her story is a reminder many of us need: You are enough.

And for a grounding close, my granddaughter Aria joins in with her own simple self-care practice: a one-minute meditation ritual that anyone—child or adult—can use to reset. Her sweet wisdom reminds us that it’s never too early—or too late—to make space for peace.

Key Takeaways

• Late diagnosis can be both grief and relief — it offers language for what you’ve always known deep down.
• Masking is real — many women with ADHD hide their struggles to appear “professional.”
• Systems bring peace — lists, timers, and brain dumps aren’t just tools, they’re lifelines.
• Your diagnosis is not your identity — ADHD shapes experiences, but it doesn’t define the whole of who you are.
• Vulnerability creates community — sharing openly can empower others to do the same.
• Self-care law to live by: Trust your knowing.
• Meditation can be simple — Aria’s 1-minute ritual shows how slowing down helps reset both kids and adults.

Topeka’s story is a powerful reminder that healing isn’t about perfection, but about honesty, compassion, and creating room for the real you to show up.

👉 Explore more of her writing at The Quiet Struggle and connect on Instagram and Pinterest

Email address: [email protected]
Website: https://www.hold-my-purse.com/

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챕터

1. Intro and ADHD Diagnosis (00:00:00)

2. Grief, grace & forgiveness (00:06:59)

3. Imposter syndrome, systems to calm the mind (00:09:09)

4. Indentity, Masking, Hyperfocus, Timers (00:12:59)

5. Mentorship, safety, Launch The Quiet Struggle (00:19:26)

6. Motherhood, ambition, Emotional regulation, and Brain dumps & urgency traps (00:28:43)

7. Community & being seen, Empowerment via vulnerability (00:38:30)

8. Supporting a child with ADHD, grace, redefining the quiet struggle (00:42:36)

9. Where to find and close (00:54:25)

10. Aria and meditation (00:59:01)

11. Close (01:01:00)