Moving Past Inconvenience and Leaning into the JOY of Helping Our Friends

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Lately I’ve been hearing about how the price of community is inconvenience.

You know what I’m talking about: those posts about how, if you want a village, you have to be a villager. You have to give the rides, buy the gifts, and drop off the meals. But I think these messages focusing on inconvenience are missing the point.

Yesterday, I was at a baby shower for a friend who has wanted to be a mom for so long that I could cry thinking about how excited I am for her. Sure, buying presents and wrapping gifts are not my favorite ways to support people. At the same time, I was so unbelievably happy to be part of this celebration for her.

Isn’t helping your friends also, in some way, beneficial for YOU too? The inconvenient tasks on the surface level can be a burden, but I think the long-term payoffs are so worth it.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Why I think these messages about the inconvenience of community is out there: we live in an individualistic society that focuses on self-improvement and achievement
• Finding ways to support your friends that are enjoyable but not burdensome; for me, this is cooking
• Why performing tasks to help our friends can be both burdensome AND joyful at the same time, and why I hate the idea of reciprocity

Resources & Links

Listen to Episode 74 about small intimacies.

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Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!