Selfless service what it really costs

Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast

Selfless Service What It Really Costs The True Meaning of Selfless Service

In this heartfelt episode, I delve into the concept of selfless service and its profound impact on our lives. What does it truly mean to serve without expecting anything in return? I'll share personal anecdotes and insights that highlight the essence of selfless service, from helping a stranger in need to the simple act of sharing a smile. You'll discover

• The real value of selfless service and how it enriches our lives.
• Why acts of kindness, big or small, can create ripples of positive change.

• How to cultivate a habit of kindness and make it a part of your daily life.

Join me as I explores how these acts of kindness not only benefit others but also bring unexpected rewards to ourselves. This episode encourages you to reflect on your own experiences of giving and receiving kindness and to spread that positivity in your everyday interactions.

Listen in and discover how embracing selfless service can transform your life and the lives of those around you.

Please share as an example of our selfless service

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/397-selfless-service-what-it-really-costs

Shine brightly

Paul

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And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Paul Clough writes about selfless service in his new podcast

Here's your heads up to the longer podcast. It costs you nothing. What is it? It's all about selfless service and diving deeply into what it really is, what it really means, and how it can affect you and your life. I heard something about it and it just made me want to dive deeper into it. And I hope you'll come with me too. Okay. I get a little bit soppy, but hey, once in a while ain't bad, is it? So please have a listen after this. Come dive with me. Warning.

Too late. Personal development unplugged.

So how much does it cost? If it costs nothing, would that be of value to you? Funny story. I used to have a website for free hypnosis. Free hypnotherapy. And you'd have thought that would have get loads of attention, wouldn't it, in the area, because it was free hypnosis in, I think it was bournemouth or free hypnotherapy in Bournemouth. And guess what? For over two years, I got nothing. I think I had two inquiries. And, one of those inquiries, there was a guy there, he was so proud. He said, but I can't accept it for nothing. I can't afford a lot, but I will pay you what I can afford. Because it was then of value to him, because he wasn't paying nothing for it, or it wasn't free. That's weird. But that's like an aside, because a little while ago, it was quite some time ago, this story jumped into my head. And it's a story about me. I was doing some shopping and I'd parked my car into a multi story car park. And as I'm going back to the car, I'm walking up these steps to get to the top, and I saw this fella, young lad, sitting on the stairs, looking a bit down. He didn't really say much to me. He didn't beg, but he just really down on his luck. And I just said, and I don't know why, I never really do this, but I just said, are you okay? Just asked if I could help him. Are you okay? And he told me a story. Story how he was having problems. He was about to move into a new. A new, like, hostel. So it's just like a room. But he was really struggling because some of his money that he was doing hadn't come in and is having problems. And, you know, you get that feeling sometimes that this isn't just a story trying to get money. It was a true story. He seemed pretty genuine. Mind you, I get. I can get taken in quite easily, have done in the past, and, normally I just let it pass. I just go, okay, talk about it. But something got me. There was the look on his face, the. Either he was a very good storyteller, or he was telling the truth. And, I got that feeling. The feeling that this guy's pretty genuine. Pretty genuine, and he's down on his luck. And he said, I'm really struggling, mate, so I know you stopped by, but if there's anything you can do to help me, you know, I'm struggling, for that cash. And, for once, I never have cash on me. I never have cash on me, very rarely. But for once, I had five pounds on me. A five pound note, five dollar note, that type of thing. Five pounds. And I just felt compelled. I said, look, you don't do drugs, do you? Because, of course I can't. I can't afford drugs. But he said, no, I don't do drugs. I'm trying to get my job going. I'm trying to do this. I need that. So I said, look, here's fiver. Please use it wisely. And he thanked me, and I went on my way. And I didn't really feel I'd done anything special. It was just nice. And there's a little side note to that. I've been in that car park a number of times since then in that area, and I've never seen him again there. So hopefully that means he's not. That wasn't his pitch. But the question I was asking myself is, is that an example of selfless service? Maybe. Maybe. But selfless service doesn't necessarily mean giving money, does it? M. But certainly I wasn't getting anything out of return for that. He wasn't giving me anything. He wasn't doing anything. I got nothing in return. The only thing I got in return was feeling a little bit of hope inside me that I'd done something good. And the hope was that good would actually be real good. And there's nothing to do about bigging me up, because I very rarely do that. I don't like getting caught. But something changed that day, certainly for that man, that boy, or a young lad.

Cloughie: Selfless service is doing something for no return

But the other day, I heard another definition of selfless service, which really, really, I think, put it into real simple terms for me. And this person was saying, well, selfless service, you know, we talk about selfless service, is doing something for no want of return. But sometimes people do it saying, well, I don't want anything return. But maybe down the line like that, the work they do with creating connections, creating. I get the words right, Cloughie? Creating connections for your career. So you do something now. Do something now. I don't want anything. I don't want anything. But, you know, at the end of the day, you might get something back. There'll be some reciprocation, in, in that workplace. But this, this person was saying, well, imagine helping a child. Maybe they're in distress and you're comfort. You, you comfort them, you protect them. You just do something for that child. And it may be your child, it may be just a child that you see and forget all the things that go on about that horrible stuff. But if that child needs help, you would do that, wouldn't you? What about a friend? What about a friend? Maybe there's one down on their luck. Maybe if you asked and said, you know, how you doing? Are you really okay? And they finally open up and say, no, actually, I'm having a bit of a problem. I'm having a hard time. I didn't like to say anything, but, you know, if I could share. And you listen and maybe you're simply just giving that support. You're not giving them anything in physical terms other than support an ear, just to listen to them, allow them to speak, to be heard again, what are you in return for that? And again, both of those things that cost you nothing other than maybe time. What about a smile? Okay, Cloughie you're getting. But this is what. No, this is what this person, I think, I don't know if the person said this or I've taken it a bit further now. Just notice how that makes another person respond. It's infectious, isn't it? If you're walking along, very rarely, if you smile at somebody, they'll just smile back, even if it's not the biggest smile in the world. But if you make your smile big and you know that makes them feel good, doesn't matter whether they're down, whether they're feeling good, they will just feel good. And I know that because the other day I was wandering, wandering, wandering down the beach. And this lovely lady, she was riding a bike, and she's actually just come past me. She beamed at me. Just a lovely smile. And then she'd gone. Didn't even have a chance to say anything at all. She just smiled and drove on or rode on. It cost her nothing, but made me feel good, made me just feel. Oh, the world's a lovely place. That's a good feeling, isn't it? Or for some of us. What about, seeing an animal in distress or maybe lost, you know, panicking because it can't find its owner? We'd help it, wouldn't we, if we could? And again, that, animal can give you nothing back. Can't give you anything back. It cannot repay you. Well, they do, because with love. But you know what I mean. But we're not looking for anything. For our, a bit of kindness, I guess, for each one of those, you know, helping a child, helping a friend, a smile, helping an animal in distress. For each one of those, do you expect anything in return? Nada, isn't it? It's nada. Nothing at all. Yet you do it in a heartbeat, and it costs you nothing other than a little bit of time. And so what does that feel like? What does that feel like when you do things? Imagine, I know you've all done this. I know you, particularly. You specifically in the past. If you go back through your past, you've done acts of kindness. And I think acts of kindness are, this selfless service. Remember one. Now, just cast your mind back over the future. Back over the future. Cloughie. Come on, get it right back over your past. And as you maybe just bring one to mind, if you bring one to mind, you suddenly find others will start to not necessarily flood in, but you tend to just come in more easily. And as you find one, just remember that feeling. So remember that memory. Go back into that memory. Let it. Let it come into your mind and be there again, just for a moment. It was okay to do this, by the way. You know, if your attention is needed elsewhere, please go and do whatever needed. Come back. But just at the moment, just remember that act of kindness. And it may be you could always turn this around when you've been shown an act of kindness. So either one, and as you remember it, go back then to that time right now. See what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel that feeling. Feel that feeling. And as you feel that feeling. It's nice, isn't it? And have that nice feeling. Imagine taking your index finger, that's the one next to your pinky and your thumb, and just gently squeeze them together. That's all. As you feel that feeling of kindness, either kindness shown to you or kindness that you've given for no one in return. And as you feel that feeling, squeeze that index finger, the one next to your pinky and your thumb.

Imagine sending a feeling and a symbol out into your future

together. And as you do this, just for a moment, imagine what symbol, what symbol would pop into your mind right now to represent this feeling? Just let that happen. And a symbol could be anything, could be a color, could be a picture of something, could be maybe a memory of a friend, be anything, could be a word that just comes in. And as you think of that and that index finger and thumb are squeezing together, just gently, this symbol is getting attached and anchored to this anger. And I wonder, as you hold those two, that finger and thumb, together, imagine sending this feeling and that symbol out into your future. Don't know how you do that, but you can just imagine the timeline of your future that stretches way over there. And just imagine sending that symbol, this feeling, through every day of your future. Because wouldn't it be nice if every day you were, able to give an act of kindness, maybe receive an act of kindness, but have this feeling? That's all you'd want in return, isn't it? This feeling? isn't that interesting? You can do it so easily and then come back to yourself. Look through your own eyes now in your own body. See the world as it is right now. Because if you want to, you know, if you spelt your surname backwards for a moment and blink twice, maybe three times, and then squeeze that index finger, the one near your pinky and your thumb together, you get that feeling again, and that symbol will come to mind, and it just radiates out into the future. So what's the point of all this clavy? That's what I'm saying. Well, the point of this is imagine. Imagine your life with that feeling and the effects of it. What do you mean, the effects of it Cloughie? Well, you see, having that feeling will affect you, obviously, emotionally, because that's the feeling, a nice feeling. And emotions affect your physiology, because if you're feeling down, you feel down. The words are there, but if you're feeling kind, don't you feel for me it's fuzzy. A nice, fuzzy feeling. The world is good. That's me. Imagine the pitches you make in your mind. The world just gets nicer, doesn't it? Brighter. And then there's. That's the effects in you. In me. And maybe my behaviors are going to keep changing, and I'm going to make more memories and have more experiences. And the more experiences I have, the more I enjoy it, the more that feeling grows and the more I do it. But the more I do that, selfless service has actions that cost me nothing but affect other people too. The people I help, the people I smile at, the people I just take care of. Maybe just a kind word, a moment or two to listen, maybe just to ask, hey, how you doing? You never know. Whenever you want to, if you ever want to speak, I'm, here. Hey, how can I help? Opening a door. Open. I say that word. Maybe it's, opening a door for somebody or lifting something because they're having a bit of trouble. Just kind actions. You're never going to get anything back, but what a feeling. And in effect, you're just quietly going about your day, being kind to others. And the thing is, there's something else that happens when you do this. Because you tend to be known as that kind person. And that kind person is an example to others, and that's infectious. You infect. Infect? Yeah, you infect others and affect others with your kindness. And if that was to happen, and people saw that as an example, and it was infected, infectious, they might start each, day or in their day, going quietly about their business and being kind to others too, and infecting the whole world with kindness, we never know how far the ripples of change would go. And so that kindness will just keep spreading, multiplying, like pay it forward. You pay it forward to two people, and those two people pay two people. Pay it to those another two people. So you get another four, you got six, and then eight and six. It goes on and on really quickly, doesn't it? Exponentially, I think they call it. And, what a wonderful thing to do. It costs you nothing. You got nothing in return. Well, here's a kicker with that. The, law of reciprocity. Reciprocation, that's the thing. That's a kicker now, because when you're kind and you have this selfless service and you just go about your business, being kind, lending an earth selfless service, doing things for others for no one in return. The law of reciprocity comes and dollops and dumps a wonderful, great kite feeling on you. And you just get things back in return that you didn't really want, but you get it anyway, and they're all good stuff. Synchronicity seems to come along and go, here's something nice. Well, that's a coincidence, because there's another thing over here which is nice. Oh, I just seem to get lucky. I just feel good most of my days. And, even when problems come, some people come and help me. Maybe that's what happens. So even if you do it for no want of return. And that's what we do for selfless service. The law of reciprocity comes and dumps good stuff on you anyway. And hopefully this is something that we could all either lean into or learn to do more of. I know I need to practice it more. And the thing is, when you practice this type of thing, you get it in the muscle. And when you get things in the muscle, they become habits. And when you get this muscle memory, this habit of just being kind, isn't that a nice place to be? Now, squeeze that index finger and thumb together. You know that one near your pinky? And as you think about it, have that feeling. Come again, see that symbol, and know that your future, your future days are going to be blessed in kindness. There you go. Now, I, know, I know that maybe seem to be a little bit soppy or heard of being a little bit soppy, and I am a little bit soppy sometimes, but I think it's worth taking that effort because it just works. Take the effort to be kind. I know they say I've got to practice it more and more and get it in my muscle, but that change in me cost me nothing too, and creates so much more value. That change in you costs nothing and will create so much value in your world.

Paul Clough: Practice makes perfect, so practice makes muscle memory

Now, what did I want you to feel through listening to all this? Ideally, in my mind, I wanted to just create some thoughts, allow you to be thoughtful, maybe. And, as that seems to just go inside, you'd start to take action now, you might say, and I know you are, you're such a kind person. But we could always be a little bit more kindly, can't we? So it's practicing, because practice does not make perfect. Practice makes permanent that, muscle memory. And the more we practice this wonderful act of kindness, a little bit of soppiness now and again, I think it just gives us a real foundation of becoming that person we really want to be in the world, becoming the change we want to see in ourselves and others. And we go back to that ecological check. Is it good for me? Yeah, absolutely. Because it costs me nothing. I get that really good feeling. Is it good for others? Yeah, because I'm helping others, helping, the world, hoping little old planet work earth, just by being kind, by selfless service. So, going back to the end, how much does it cost? Well, it costs bugger all, doesn't it? So there you go, soppy Cloughie. Hope I've got you thinking. It got me thinking about this because I used to say things like, let's have selfless service. And it always got to me a little bit, a little bit glib, a little bit by rote, the thing that people say. And, we have to think about it, what it really is and how can I really do it. And there's not a lot to do, is there? You don't have to plan it, you don't have to have all these things in place. No, you just do it. You be it doing. And, being this wonderful person that you are, I've built you up so much now. That's enough. It's enough. Come on, let's get on. I hope you enjoyed that. It's a different type of, longer podcast, a longer episode. Maybe you want more. Maybe there's other things you'd like me to discuss. If there is, you know what I always say, please email me feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplugged.com do that comes to me and I'll answer you and we'll see if we can get things going with another episode or a process. I love creating processes or developing existing ones to match your needs. So, if you do that, that would be kind. Wouldn't cost you anything to email me, would it? A little bit of time and then we could help others doing the same thing. What else would be kind? Well, you know, doesn't cost much to share, does it? That would be kind, sharing this podcast. That would be nice. And if you did, because, and you don't have to share it, you can share it physically by pressing that share button, but just by talking about it, talk about what you knew, what you know, what you've learnt, maybe what you've been reminded of. Because this is like a big reminder to me. Cloughie. Get yourself in gear. You know what to do. Let's get going. Let's start doing it and be kind to yourself. Good place to start. I think that's about it. I know you've pressed that bloody subscribe button. You have, haven't you? Because that would make a big difference. It really would. So I'm going to be kind to you. In as much as I'm going to stop talking, I'm going to stop talking. Let's get on and, and let's give some selfless service to anyone who needs it and especially yourself. Okay? So until the next time, my friend, you go fly. M.

Warning you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.

Personal development unplugged.

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