Porn, Betrayal, Sex And The Experts — PBSE podcast

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Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman, Steve Moore, and Mark Kastleman에서 제공하는 콘텐츠입니다. 에피소드, 그래픽, 팟캐스트 설명을 포함한 모든 팟캐스트 콘텐츠는 Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman, Steve Moore, and Mark Kastleman 또는 해당 팟캐스트 플랫폼 파트너가 직접 업로드하고 제공합니다. 누군가가 귀하의 허락 없이 귀하의 저작물을 사용하고 있다고 생각되는 경우 여기에 설명된 절차를 따르실 수 있습니다 https://ko.player.fm/legal.

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Tinfoil Swans

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Tinfoil Swans podcast artwork

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Matthew Lillard and the Glorious Dorito Salad 43:18

19일 전43:18

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43:18

You have a favorite Matthew Lillard film or TV performance. It might be SLC Punk , the Scream franchise, Scooby Doo , Hackers , She's All That , Twin Peaks: The Return , or the new Stephen King and Mike Flanagan movie The Life of Chuck . He's been working in Hollywood for over 30 years, and has a reputation for being kind to fans. But connecting with people is exactly why he got into acting as a kid — the community that comes from putting on a play together and hashing it all out at the diner afterward. It's what drew him to Dungeons & Dragons, and then a spirits company celebrating fantasy and horror fandoms. Lillard joined Tinfoil Swans to talk about growing up not fitting in, the thrill of finding your people, the punk rock high school movie he directed, his wedding cheese wheel, and so much more. For more info visit: foodandwine.com/tinfoilswans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

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Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman, Steve Moore, and Mark Kastleman에서 제공하는 콘텐츠입니다. 에피소드, 그래픽, 팟캐스트 설명을 포함한 모든 팟캐스트 콘텐츠는 Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman, Steve Moore, and Mark Kastleman 또는 해당 팟캐스트 플랫폼 파트너가 직접 업로드하고 제공합니다. 누군가가 귀하의 허락 없이 귀하의 저작물을 사용하고 있다고 생각되는 경우 여기에 설명된 절차를 따르실 수 있습니다 https://ko.player.fm/legal.

Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class Counselors who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage! We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

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Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman, Steve Moore, and Mark Kastleman에서 제공하는 콘텐츠입니다. 에피소드, 그래픽, 팟캐스트 설명을 포함한 모든 팟캐스트 콘텐츠는 Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman, Steve Moore, and Mark Kastleman 또는 해당 팟캐스트 플랫폼 파트너가 직접 업로드하고 제공합니다. 누군가가 귀하의 허락 없이 귀하의 저작물을 사용하고 있다고 생각되는 경우 여기에 설명된 절차를 따르실 수 있습니다 https://ko.player.fm/legal.

Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class Counselors who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage! We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.

… continue reading

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

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I'm Staying Away from Porn, But I Want to FEEL Repulsed by it. How? 40:08

1 day 전40:08

나중에 재생

나중에 재생

40:08

PBSE Podcast Episode 286, follows the journey of a man in early recovery who is not content with simply staying away from pornography—he wants to feel a deep emotional aversion to it. The article explores this desire for integrity and congruence, addressing how many men feel torn between what they know is harmful and what they are still wired to find stimulating. It offers a compassionate view that acknowledges sexuality as a core part of being human, emphasizing that true recovery doesn't suppress desire but matures and redirects it toward healthy connection. Through sections on humanizing porn, defining the difference between lust and attraction, and learning to pause when urges arise, the article challenges cultural and internalized messages that shame desire. It teaches that feeling drawn to something doesn’t mean you're broken—it means you're human. The key is learning to observe, question, and understand those urges, transforming them into opportunities for insight and growth rather than reaction and shame. Ultimately, the article encourages men to pursue a deeper kind of freedom—one that goes beyond abstinence and seeks wholeness. It invites them to reclaim their desires for good, to see their sexuality as something sacred and powerful when channeled intentionally, and to build lives of authentic connection. It’s a call to courage, honesty, and hope—because the path to becoming a man of integrity isn’t just possible, it’s transformative. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: I'm Staying Away from Porn, But I Want to FEEL Repulsed by it. How? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services…

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

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Performance Anxiety” is Creating a WALL Between Me & My Betrayed Partner! What Advice do you have? 38:44

5일 전38:44

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나중에 재생

38:44

In relationships impacted by sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, performance anxiety often becomes more than a physical issue—it’s a symptom of deeper emotional disconnection, trauma, and mistrust. Drawing from a heartfelt message submitted to the PBSE Podcast, Episode 285 delves into how men in recovery may find themselves crippled by shame when they’re unable to sexually perform, especially when performance was once their only perceived value in the relationship. For betrayed partners, these failures often reignite fears of rejection, acting out, or hidden deception, leading to a volatile cycle of pain, blame, and miscommunication. The article explores how cultural messaging around masculinity and sex—especially the notion that a man's worth is tied to his ability to achieve an erection—intensifies this dynamic, adding unrealistic pressure and reinforcing shame. It highlights the need for couples to step back and rebuild trust by fostering open, vulnerable conversations and addressing trauma honestly. Rather than focusing solely on sexual fixes, it encourages couples to build emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy so that sexual connection becomes a natural, healthy expression of deeper relational safety. Ultimately, the article challenges the idea that sex should lead recovery. Instead, it proposes that sex should follow emotional reconnection, not precede it. By stepping away from cultural stereotypes and performance-based self-worth, and by prioritizing safety and mutual understanding, couples can begin to move from a place of wounding toward a foundation of healing and authentic connection—inside and outside the bedroom. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: "Performance Anxiety" is Creating a WALL Betwen Me & My Betrayed Partner! What Advice do you have? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services…

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

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My Addict Partner is Now Identifying as “Polyamorous” and I Don’t Agree. Now What? 39:33

12일 전39:33

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나중에 재생

39:33

In Episode 284 of the PBSE podcast, we dive into the harrowing story of a woman navigating her husband’s sudden shift from sex addiction recovery to identifying as polyamorous. After years of pain, betrayal, and dedicated recovery work, she’s now facing a radical alteration in the foundation of their relationship. Her husband demands acceptance of his new identity, while she grapples with whether this is a genuine expression of self or a veiled escape from the demands of sobriety and responsibility. Throughout the episode, we explore three critical pillars of relationship health: authenticity, acceptance, and compatibility. Authenticity means being true to oneself—but also responsibly evaluating which parts of the self to honor when they are in conflict. Acceptance involves respecting another’s path without necessarily agreeing with or adopting it. And compatibility is the often-overlooked requirement for sustainable connection—two people must share enough vision, values, and direction for the relationship to survive. In the end, we encourage listeners, especially betrayed partners, to hold fast to their own truth. While love is a powerful force, it cannot override a lack of compatibility. We challenge the idea that acceptance means self-abandonment and remind everyone that choosing to walk a different path from a partner does not mean you’re unloving—it means you’re honoring the core of who you are. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: My Addict Partner is Now Identifying as "Polyamorous" and I Don't Agree. Now What? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services…

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

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What if my Addict Partner and I Disagree About Boundaries—Now What? 35:34

19일 전35:34

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나중에 재생

35:34

This PBSE episode (#283) delves into the delicate issue of couples disagreeing about boundaries during addiction recovery. It begins by emphasizing that boundaries exist to protect authenticity and safety rather than to control others, underscoring the need for each partner to clarify and communicate their genuine wants and needs. The addict's resistance often stems from deeper issues like shame, pride, and a desire for autonomy, which can lead to avoidance and reactive recovery rather than proactive healing. The authors stress that open dialogue—where both parties seek to understand the underlying fears and desires driving their positions—is essential to move beyond rigid standoffs. If authentic collaboration fails, the article acknowledges the possibility of fundamental incompatibility, where the couple may need to assess whether their needs can coexist without compromising personal safety or integrity. This process is not about punishment but about recognizing the natural outcomes of unmet needs. The authors introduce the concept of outcomes versus consequences, reframing boundary enforcement as self-preservation rather than retribution, which helps reduce defensiveness and fosters healthier communication dynamics. Consistent, transparent communication remains a cornerstone throughout the boundary-setting process, allowing both partners to navigate challenges proactively while reinforcing their commitment to mutual growth. The article ultimately frames boundaries as opportunities for deeper connection, healing, and intimacy. Whether couples find alignment or face difficult decisions about their compatibility, authentic boundary work offers a transformative path toward lasting relational health and personal well-being. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: What if my Addict Partner and I Disagree About Boundaries—Now What? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services…

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

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How Long Should My Former Addict Partner Maintain Sobriety and Recovery Before I Consider Getting Back with Him? 38:57

26일 전38:57

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나중에 재생

38:57

PBSE Podcast Episode 282 tackles the emotionally complex question many betrayed partners face: “How long should my former addict partner maintain sobriety and recovery before I consider getting back with him?” Rather than offering a simple timeline, it reframes the question to focus on the quality and consistency of change in both partners. The article underscores that while time matters, what matters more is whether the former addict has shown verifiable growth—emotionally, behaviorally, and relationally. It also explores the partner’s own healing journey, highlighting that reconciliation can only be healthy if both individuals are actively working toward personal recovery. Key concepts such as healthy interdependence, compatibility of emotional wants and needs, and the importance of dismantling codependency are explored in depth. The article argues that rebuilding a relationship requires a fresh foundation, not a return to old dynamics. It emphasizes the need to assess past relationship patterns honestly and cautions against letting nostalgia or loneliness drive decisions. Trial periods, structured re-engagement, and gradual “re-dating” are presented as useful tools for observing change before committing to full reunification. Ultimately, the article advises that while a minimum of six months to a year of sustained recovery might serve as a general benchmark, it’s not the time alone that matters—it’s what’s been done with that time. Reconciliation should be based on real, observable transformation, not promises or hopeful thinking. When both partners take ownership of their healing and work toward becoming emotionally whole individuals, the possibility for reconnection becomes both healthier and more sustainable. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: How Long Should My Former Addict Partner Maintain Sobriety and Recovery Before I Consider Getting Back with Him? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services…

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

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As a Betrayed Partner, How Do I Stop Waiting Around for the Rug to be Pulled Out from Under Me–Again?! 41:17

5 weeks 전41:17

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나중에 재생

41:17

PBSE Podcast Episode 281, tackles the painful and familiar experience of betrayed partners who live in a constant state of anxiety, waiting for the next betrayal to surface. Centering around a listener’s heartfelt submission, the article outlines the emotional toll of repeated trauma, especially in relationships where staggered disclosures have prolonged the hurt. Despite doing some recovery work, the listener still struggles with fear, mistrust, and a lack of emotional safety, highlighting the core issue: how to move forward without continually bracing for disaster. The discussion focuses on reclaiming personal power through sovereignty, healthy boundaries, and authentic voice. It emphasizes that although the betrayed partner did not cause the trauma, healing requires active steps toward self-care and emotional clarity. Instead of controlling a partner’s actions, effective boundaries are framed around one’s own needs, expectations, and non-negotiables. The hosts challenge the traditional model of boundary-setting, shifting the focus from rule enforcement to emotional empowerment. They also stress the importance of clearly communicating pain—not as a weapon, but as an invitation to intimacy and healing. Ultimately, the episode encourages partners to prioritize themselves first. Whether or not the relationship survives, their well-being, authenticity, and voice matter most. Real connection, the kind partners yearn for, is only possible when both individuals show up with honesty and accountability. If the addict partner is unwilling or unable to do that, the betrayed partner can still reclaim safety, peace, and purpose. Through programs like Dare to Connect and a strong support network, partners can stop waiting for catastrophe and instead begin living intentionally, boldly, and on their own terms. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: As a Betrayed Partner, How Do I Stop Waiting Around for the Rug to be Pulled Out from Under Me—Again?! Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services…

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

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As a Betrayed Partner, How do I Talk to my Teenage Kids About Healthy Sexuality? 33:11

6 weeks 전33:11

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33:11

In PBSE Episode 280, Mark & Steve address the complex challenge faced by betrayed partners—especially those healing from porn or sex addiction in their relationships—who want to guide their teenage children toward healthy sexuality. It begins by acknowledging the emotional burden and conflict many betrayed partners feel, especially when trying to teach their children something they themselves are still struggling to reclaim. Drawing from a listener’s heartfelt question, the hosts emphasize that children are already receiving sexual messaging from the world around them, making it crucial that parents step up to provide a healthy, grounded counter-narrative rooted in respect, consent, and emotional connection. The article challenges the outdated concept of “the talk” by promoting a new paradigm: sexuality should be an ongoing, evolving, and age-appropriate conversation that unfolds over years, not moments. Parents are encouraged to reflect on their own stories, recognize internal shame or awkwardness, and ensure that their emotional energy during these talks doesn’t unintentionally pass discomfort or judgment onto their children. The authors stress that kids are emotional sponges, and how parents talk about sex—more than just what they say—deeply influences how their children feel about their own bodies, desires, and relationships. This is why intentionality and preparation matter more than perfection. Practical tools and resources are also discussed, such as those from Fight the New Drug, Defend Young Minds, and Covenant Eyes. The article affirms that even when a co-parent is absent or unsafe to engage in these conversations, there are still ways to ensure kids have positive, trustworthy influences. By speaking truthfully, embracing healthy sexual values, and modeling openness, betrayed partners can break generational cycles of secrecy, shame, and dysfunction. Each conversation—no matter how imperfect—is a step toward a legacy of empowerment, honesty, and loving connection. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: As a Betrayed Partner, How do I Talk to my Teenage Kids About Healthy Sexuality? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services…

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

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Do you REALLY want Intimate CONNECTION or Not? 41:22

7 weeks 전41:22

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나중에 재생

41:22

PBSE Podcast 279 confronts the painful contradiction many addicts face: a deep longing for intimate connection paired with a habitual avoidance of it. Through a heartfelt partner’s submission and personal reflections, Mark and Steve illustrate how addiction, as an intimacy disorder, fuels this cycle of wanting but not acting—of making promises without follow-through. The core issue often isn’t a lack of sincerity, but a profound disconnection from self, rooted in fear, shame, and survival-based behaviors that sabotage the very closeness being sought. Mark & Steve emphasize that real intimacy demands risk, consistency, and emotional presence—there’s no “door number three” that offers closeness without vulnerability. Acting out behaviors like pornography offer a counterfeit form of connection without the discomfort of being seen or rejected. But for true healing and trust to take root, addicts must stop hiding behind avoidance and start showing up authentically, even if the steps are small. It’s about shifting from vocalizing good intentions to building consistent habits of connection. Ultimately, the article issues a powerful call to action for those in recovery: don’t just say you want intimacy—prove it. Begin where you are, but begin. For partners still offering connection, your continued hope is meaningful, but it must be met with effort. And for addicts, real change starts not with grand declarations, but with the next honest, intentional step toward your partner and yourself. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: Do you REALLY want Intimate CONNECTION or Not? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services…

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

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How Do I Navigate the Dating World After My Marriage Ended Due to Porn? 35:44

8 weeks 전35:44

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나중에 재생

35:44

In this PBSE episode (#278), Mark & Steve delve deeply into a critical topic for betrayed partners—After enduring the deep wounds of a marriage ending due to porn addiction, stepping back into the dating world requires tremendous courage, self-awareness, and intentional preparation. We encourage betrayed partners to first focus inward, engaging in compassionate self-analysis to better understand past relational dynamics. Exploring areas like intuition, self-trust, self-esteem, and emotional dependency empowers betrayed partners to move forward not with fear, but with wisdom and strength. Becoming the most authentic, grounded version of oneself is the true safeguard against repeating old patterns and lays the foundation for building future healthy relationships. In today’s culture, pornography exposure is virtually universal, making it essential to approach dating with realism rather than idealism. The goal isn’t to find someone untouched by porn but to find someone who has a healthy, honest relationship with their sexuality and emotions. Asking direct, vulnerable questions early in the dating process—such as inquiries about pornography use, emotional openness, and personal growth—helps quickly reveal whether a potential partner can offer true intimacy, honesty, and emotional safety. Partners must prioritize open communication and trust their intuition, recognizing that how someone responds to vulnerability tells them much about future relational potential. Ultimately, despite the heartbreak of the past, the future holds great promise for those who choose growth and self-empowerment. Betrayed partners are not broken; they are stronger, wiser, and more capable of building deep, lasting love than ever before. By focusing on personal healing, leading with authenticity, and refusing to settle for less than emotional honesty and maturity, individuals can find real, meaningful connections. The painful past becomes not an anchor, but a stepping stone into a richer, healthier future filled with hope, intimacy, and fulfillment. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: How Do I Navigate the Dating World After My Marriage Ended Due to Porn? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services…

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

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My Habit of “Pornifying” Everything has Ruined Enjoyable Media for Me & My Partner! Can We Ever be “Healthy” Again? 44:29

9 weeks 전44:29

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44:29

PBSE Episode 277 addresses a deeply personal and often overlooked consequence of pornography addiction: the loss of enjoyment in media that was once shared and meaningful within a relationship. The authors respond to a listener's question about whether he and his partner can ever again enjoy media that has been “pornified” through his addiction. They explain how sexual addiction often extends beyond explicit content to include distorted sexualization of characters and media, leading to feelings of betrayal, shame, and disconnection. The podcast highlights how the brain, once trained to objectify, cannot selectively compartmentalize those responses, making formerly innocent content triggering or painful. Recovery, the authors argue, begins with sobriety—creating enough distance from compulsive behaviors and media to assess its true impact. Only after detoxing can individuals and couples explore the question of reclaiming media in a healthy, intentional way. The process demands deep self-honesty, a redefinition of personal boundaries, and meaningful conversations with one’s partner. Trust and safety must be reestablished through consistent behaviors, transparent communication, and a shared vision for healing. Practical tools like content filtering, media planning, and regular emotional check-ins are vital for navigating this journey thoughtfully and securely. Ultimately, the article offers hope: while some things may not return to their previous form, many aspects of media and connection can be redeemed. This requires letting go of black-and-white thinking and embracing a new, authentic relationship with media—one rooted in purpose, not compulsion. By learning to see people and experiences as whole, rather than as fragmented or sexualized, couples can rediscover joy, connection, and even innocence in their lives. The path forward may not restore what was lost in its original form, but it can lead to something even more meaningful—a deeper, shared way of living with clarity, connection, and freedom. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: My Habit of "Pornifying" Everything has Ruined EnJoyable Media for Me & My Partner! Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services…

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

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Do I have to wait for the “Formal Amends” process before my Addict Partner shows any real change? 38:52

10 weeks 전38:52

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나중에 재생

38:52

Episode 276 addresses a question often asked by partners of addicts in recovery: “Do I have to wait for the formal amends process before I see real change?” The authors explain that real transformation in recovery should not be postponed until Steps 8 and 9 of the 12-step model. They draw a clear distinction between a simple apology and the deeper process of making amends, emphasizing that true recovery begins with personal accountability, transparency, and a willingness to face difficult truths—not with a formal ceremony or set timeline. Waiting for a specific step to begin meaningful repair in a relationship is not only unnecessary, but often counterproductive. The article also explores why addicts may avoid transparency, citing both nefarious and sincere motivations. Some use recovery language as a shield to delay vulnerability or to avoid accountability, a behavior referred to as “weaponizing recovery.” Others may believe they need to handle everything on their own, often stemming from unhealthy family systems or distorted beliefs about responsibility. These patterns, while sometimes well-intentioned, still prevent the growth and emotional openness necessary for healing. The authors stress that full transparency should begin early in recovery, as emotional honesty is foundational for any real connection or rebuilding of trust. For betrayed partners, the article offers a roadmap for reclaiming personal empowerment. It encourages them to build outside support systems, gain clarity about their own needs, and hold firm boundaries—not as a means of controlling their partner’s behavior, but to protect their own healing. The message is clear: real recovery is demonstrated through consistent honesty, presence, and vulnerability long before any formal amends are made. Partners do not have to—and should not—wait for a specific step before expecting accountability and meaningful change. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: Do I Have to Wait for "Formal Amends" Process Before My Addict Partner Shows Any Real Change? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services…

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

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How Can He “Look Past” My Body & Be Aroused by Real Love?! 39:31

11 weeks 전39:31

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나중에 재생

39:31

This PBSE episode (275), inspired by a listener’s vulnerable question, dives deep into the emotional complexity of intimacy in long-term relationships—particularly when one partner has struggled with pornography addiction. The woman asks how her husband can look “past” her aging body and be genuinely aroused by real love. Her question reveals the pain of feeling invisible or undesired and touches on the widespread cultural belief that sexual attraction is rigid and solely tied to youth or physical perfection. The article dismantles this myth, showing that arousal is not a static, uncontrollable instinct, but a moldable response shaped by years of influence, experience, and personal choices. Mark and Steve, speaking from their own journeys of recovery and their work with countless clients, explain how pornography warps the arousal template, training the brain to see only surface-level stimulation while disconnecting from emotional and spiritual depth. But through consistent personal work, emotional vulnerability, and intentional connection, that template can be rewritten. Real-life examples—like a therapist who found arousal in his wife’s post-mastectomy scars—illustrate that true desire comes not from ignoring reality, but from embracing it. The physical becomes more meaningful, not less, when it’s rooted in shared experience, loyalty, admiration, and love. Ultimately, the article reframes arousal not as something to “look past,” but as something to “look through”—to see the fullness of a partner, body and soul. It calls both partners to re-engage in intimacy with eyes wide open, choosing to cultivate love through emotional connection and shared meaning. The grand takeaway is that authentic, meaningful love is not only enough to spark desire—it’s the most powerful and lasting form of arousal there is. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: How Can He "Look Past" My Body & Be Aroused by Real Love?! Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services…

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

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Sex Isn't Mutually Pleasurable in our Relationship. How do We Elevate the Experience? 37:22

12 weeks 전37:22

나중에 재생

나중에 재생

37:22

This PBSE Podcast Episode 274, centers on a partner’s heartfelt account of feeling objectified and emotionally disconnected during sex with her spouse, who is in recovery from porn addiction. Though he has given up porn and masturbation, their intimacy remains one-sided, leaving her feeling like a replacement for his addiction rather than a true partner in connection. Mark and Steve explore how sobriety alone isn’t enough—emotional growth, mindfulness, and a complete rewiring of sexual expectations are essential for healing. Through neuroscience, they unpack how porn addiction distorts the brain’s wiring around sex, creating a dopamine-driven pattern that prioritizes climax over connection. Recovery, then, requires more than behavioral change; it calls for a transformation of mindset, unlearning toxic scripts, and rebuilding intimacy through vulnerability and presence. The metaphor of “remodeling” becomes central: couples must tear down broken patterns and collaboratively design a new vision for their sexual relationship. Ultimately, the article calls couples to take back authorship of their story by replacing silence, shame, and autopilot sex with curiosity, honesty, and shared desire. With intention and effort, couples can elevate their sexual connection from a mechanical act to a space of mutual pleasure and deep intimacy—if they are willing to write that new narrative together. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: Sed Isn't Mutually Pleasurable in our Relationship. Howe do We Elevate the Experience? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services…

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

1
My Addict Partner Keeps saying “Sorry” & He’s “Trying,” but He’s NOT Meeting my Real Needs! 40:47

13 weeks 전40:47

나중에 재생

나중에 재생

40:47

In this episode (273) of the PBSE podcast, hosts Mark and Steve respond to a heartfelt message from a betrayed partner whose addict spouse keeps saying he’s “sorry” and that he’s “trying,” yet still fails to meet her emotional needs. The conversation highlights the profound frustration and exhaustion that many partners feel as they repeatedly express their pain and needs, only to be met with minimal awareness or inconsistent effort. The hosts emphasize that while an addict may be sincere in their apologies, sincerity without emotional capacity or real change isn’t enough to rebuild trust or connection. The article goes on to explore the concept of emotional “capacity,” explaining that in early recovery, addicts often lack the internal tools needed to hold space for their partner’s pain. This isn’t to excuse poor behavior, but to help partners understand why they may be feeling unseen or invalidated despite their partner’s promises. Mark and Steve caution against the common trap of overextending emotional energy in hopes of breakthrough and instead stress the need for healthy, clearly defined boundaries. These boundaries are framed not as threats or punishments but as vital self-protection—ways to maintain one’s authenticity, dignity, and well-being when the addict is not yet capable of genuine connection. Ultimately, the article challenges readers to reflect on compatibility, effort, and emotional sustainability within the relationship. It encourages betrayed partners to gain clarity around their own values, needs, and limits, while recognizing the difference between compliance and real change. Whether a partner is able to rise to the occasion or not, the message is clear: you are not alone, your needs are valid, and healing—whether together or apart—is possible with the right tools, support, and boundaries in place. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: My Addict Partner Keeps saying "Sorry" and He's "Trying," but He's NOT Meeting my Real Needs! Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services…

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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE podcast artwork

1
My Addict Partner has “Backed Off” from His Recovery. Why Can’t he See it’s About More Than Just Being “Sober”? 35:25

14 weeks 전35:25

나중에 재생

나중에 재생

35:25

In Episode 272, Mark & Steve focus in on how porn and sex addiction recovery goes beyond mere sobriety; it requires ongoing emotional growth, accountability, and engagement to rebuild trust in a relationship. Many betrayed partners of addicts feel heightened anxiety when their spouse steps back from recovery efforts, fearing a return to old behaviors or an emotional disconnect. True recovery is not just about avoiding addictive behaviors but about healing the underlying patterns that led to them, fostering emotional awareness, and strengthening the relationship through consistent effort and transparency. When a porn and sex addict becomes complacent, their betrayed partner often feels abandoned and overwhelmed by the responsibility of keeping the relationship intact. Healing from betrayal trauma is a long process, and a lack of continued commitment from the addict can be as triggering as a relapse. Without active engagement, old habits resurface, emotional intimacy deteriorates, and the relationship becomes strained. Recovery requires ongoing accountability, self-reflection, and a proactive approach to maintaining personal and relational growth. Moving forward, addicts must embrace a lifelong commitment to self-improvement, emotional intelligence, and relational healing. Transparency, consistency, and empathy are essential to rebuilding trust and ensuring that both partners feel secure in the relationship. Recovery is not a finish line but a continuous journey, requiring dedication from both individuals to foster a deeper, more fulfilling connection. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: "My Addict Partner Has "Backed Off " from His Recovery. Why Can't He See it's About More Than Just Being "Sober"? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services…

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