Don’t live by other’s expectations of you. | Ep. 164

The J. B. Sisam Show | Learn How To Write Your Book | Publishing And Blogging Tips To Help You Find Your Voice And Succeed.

We all have people in our lives who try and place their unwanted expectations of who they think you should be on you. It’s hard enough to try and determine who we think we are, let alone seeing someone else tell us who they think we are.

In today’s episode, we’re going to unpack what it means to truly discover who you are, how to ward off those unwanted expectations of others, and live the life you want.

The first time I let someone see something I wrote, I was nervous. In 2006, I joined a Yahoo writer’s group. This particular group, which will remain unnamed, was filled with several industry professionals from editors, publishers, and accomplished writers.

In fear and trepidation, I submitted a piece I had worked tirelessly on. To my horror, they shot me down and told me I’d never amount to any form of writing, and in fact, I should just give up on my dream of writing. I was devastated.

It took another two years before I would allow someone to read my work again. That book became my first novel, “Divine Providence.”

So, how do we ward off those unwanted expectations of others and live the life God had called us to live?

1. It’s not about you!

It’s easy to think that when people shoot down our ideas, tell us how to live our life, or even think they’re being helpful when they say, “It’s okay if you fail, God must have something better in-store for you.”

These things hurt, wound, and keep us from living up to the potential God has placed inside. Remember, it’s about them, not you. Determine who you are, and who God has called you to be, and be that!

2. It’s about maintaining focus.

Focus is the bread and butter of success. The more we focus, the more we tend to our dreams, the more we’ll see them become a reality. That person, who shot me down on my first attempt at a novel, never saw my dream of becoming a published author. They never saw my children’s book, “King Lyle and the Purple Dragon” become a top 100 Amazon children’s book.

Remember to keep your focus on the things above, not the things people say about you or to you. Remain focused on what the Lord has called you to do, write, or be.

3. Live in the moment.

Sometimes the best medicine to naysayers, is to live in the moment. Tomorrow will come. Don’t worry about it Today, recall who you are. If they’re saying you’ll never amount to anything, tell yourself, “I am successful. I have more than enough to see my dream become a reality.” Turn the limiting beliefs of others into your liberating truths.

4. Write down your goals.

One of the best things you can do to accomplish what you’re setting out to do is to write down that goal. I created a book cover for my first novella. I wanted to see a tangible goal. The next thing I did, I had a bound copy of my manuscript printed with the cover.

We must visualize our goals to see them come to fruition. Other’s might look at you funny or have other expectations of who you are, but remember who God has called you to be and visualize your goal and dream. Write it down, make it a reality by speaking it into your heart.

Remember that your dreams are what you make them. The more you move forward, think positively, put the work in, you’ll begin to silence those naysayers and those who’s expectations don’t match yours.

Links mentioned in this episode

– Divine Providence

– All books

– Living Forward Journal

– Publishing

– One-on-one Coaching With Me