E. 29 - Vulnerability - Part 2: Why Do We Armor Up? How Can We Show Up Authentically and Find Communities Where We Belong?
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Hello So Deep Peeps!
Welcome to That’s So Deep. This is the podcast where we try to root out loneliness one conversation at a time. Today we are talking about Vulnerability - Part 2: Why Do We Armor Up? How Can We Show Up Authentically and Find Communities Where We Belong? (based on work by Brene Brown).
Some deep things we cover:
- Fitting In vs. Belonging: When you fit in, you change yourself to enter the community. When you belong, you show up as you are and are embraced by the community.
- Vulnerability in Parenting vs. Authoritarian Parenting: Phyllis is experimenting with parenting by being a human next to her kids by being vulnerable with boundaries.
- Phyllis wonders if the armor that she used as a child still serves her as an adult.
- Masculine and Feminine Norms: According to Brene Brown, a shame trigger for masculine norms is weakness and for feminine norms it is imperfection.
- How does perfection show up for Julie and Phyllis?
- Phyllis discusses how insecurity causes her to armor up.
- Julie discusses why she armors up when it comes to her partnership.
- Self Talk: Do you engage in guilt talk or shame talk? Which one is better?
- A Mantra to Combat Imperfection: Brene Brown uses this one and Phyllis has adopted it too: “I don’t want to be right. I wanna get it right.”
- How do we create inclusive spaces so people can be a part of the conversation?
Take-aways:
- What Armor Can We Do Away With That No Longer Serves Us?
- Where Does Perfection Show Up in Our Lives?
We want to have a conversation with you! There are many ways to connect with us. Here are some of them:
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We love you and we can’t wait for our next deep conversation!
Yours in Becoming,
Phyllis & Julie
Resources and articles we referenced in the episode:
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