#198 Intentionality and hoarding: how to move from reactive to purposeful decision making and action

That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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Today I’m talking about how being intentional - basically doing things on purpose rather than on autopilot - can genuinely reshape how we deal with hoarding and our stuff.

I’ll share how intentionality helps us pause, make better decisions, and treat ourselves with more compassion, rather than reacting on impulse or out of habit.

Plus, I’ll look at how setting small boundaries and choosing to rest on purpose can all be important aspects of real, lasting change.

• The transformative power of intentionality.
• Setting the stage: How being intentional relates to what we keep, acquire, or discard.
• What is Intentionality and Why Does it Matter?
• Definition: Acting with purpose, consciousness, and awareness.
• Impact on self-perception: How intentional actions can improve self-esteem and self-compassion.
• Increasing the distance between stimulus and response.
• Agency and empowerment: Transition from reactive to deliberate decision-making.
• Examples (nature walks, acquiring possessions): Using intentionality to shape experiences and choices.
• Intentionality vs. Reactivity in Hoarding-Related Decisions
• Reactive behaviours: Impulse acquisitions and the resulting feelings of regret.
• Intentional decision-making process: Steps and self-questioning (e.g., Do I need this? Does this fit my values?).
• Intentionality in Dehoarding
• Emotional barriers: Overwhelm, panic, and high-stakes feelings in hoarding/dehoarding.
• The value of starting small: Engaging in micro-decisions with thoughtfulness.
• Shifting mindset: Moving from resentment (“I have to") to choice ("I choose to”).
• Language and self-talk: The impact of words on perception and action.
• Boundaries: Establishing and maintaining intentional rules for oneself (e.g., only buying clothing in your current size).
• Intentional Habits, Rituals, and Boundaries
• Creating structure: Using rituals (tea, meditation, rewards) to make dehoarding sessions purposeful.
• Habitual vs. intentional choices: Challenging default behaviors (e.g., always keeping old birthday cards).
• Self-reflection: Using intentionality to question long-standing personal rules.
• Intentional Inaction: Choosing Not to Act
• Recognising when rest is necessary: The difference between intentional rest and giving up.
• Personal example: Planning for difficult days by intentionally not scheduling activities.
• Self-compassion: Allowing yourself to rest without self-judgment.
• Rest, Self-Care, and Challenging Productivity Myths
• Importance of rest in the decluttering process.
• Distinguishing between caring rest and avoidance.
• Encouraging self-compassion and recognising limits.
• Navigating Grey Areas in Intentionality
• The challenge of self-deception: When “intentionality” masks hoarding justifications.
• Tools for discernment: Grounded vs. anxiety-driven decisions.
• Value alignment: Considering whether choices support personal values and goals.
• Managing Setbacks and Self-Compassion
• Responding to slip-ups: Viewing mistakes as data, not failure.
• Problem-solving: Analysing triggers and adjusting future behaviour.
• Avoiding all-or-nothing thinking: Reframing setbacks and maintaining momentum.
• Building an Intentionality Practice
• The ongoing nature of intentionality: It’s a skill developed over time.
• Practical applications: Small daily decisions (e.g., washing dishes immediately).
• Mindfulness: Checking in with thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations.
• Encouragement: Be patient with yourself - progress, not perfection.
• The cumulative power of intentional decisions.

Links

• Episode about letting yourself half-arse it (#192)
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