“I Want to Stay” Keeping Relationships Together After Betrayal

Sex, Love, and Addiction

Dr. Merry Frons has been working with individuals’ and couples’ relationship issues for the past 25 years. Her training as a sex therapist grew out of her experience working with couples when she realized that sexuality issues were part of couples' concerns and had a large influence on the underlying couples’ dynamic. Dr. Merry is out with a new book, The Trust Solution, where she talks about how two spouses can work on building trust and a healthy relationship again; A topic both her and Dr. Rob dive into on this week’s episode!

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:25] A little bit about Dr. Merry Frons

[3:25] Why did Dr. Merry decide to write her book, The Trust Solution?

[5:20] So many people are dealing with intimacy betrayal issues and they need guidance and help. It’s difficult to navigate this space alone.

[6:55] What does the betrayed partner go through after they’ve discovered infidelity?

[8:15] Dr. Merry shares some of the important steps a hurt partner needs to focus on.

[10:45] If the cheating partner wants to work through this, what can they do?

[12:20] The biggest step to a better relationship is by being honest and coming clean.

[14:25] Sometimes a betrayed partner wants to know everything and anything, but there are limits to knowing everything.

[16:15] The betrayed spouse doesn’t want to continue the relationship, now what?

[18:40] if both parties want to make it work, what are the next steps?

[23:20] What does Dr. Merry mean by attunement in this context?

[26:45] The spouse that has broken the relationship is trying, but they might not know about the tools available to them to help build healing.

[27:25] How do you build a two-party system when you’re so hurt and angry? A real partnership?

[31:10] What does Dr. Merry mean by ‘flow’?

[33:50] There’s no right or wrong decision on whether to stay or go.

RESOURCES:

The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’?

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency

Connect with Dr. Merry: Renewcounselingpllc.com

QUOTES:

• “How could you do this if you loved me? You say you loved me, and yet you did this to me.”
• “The hurt partner needs time to process these emotions. They need safety, support, and soothing.”
• “You can’t heal what is not acknowledged.”