How to Heal From an Emotionally Abusive Marriage

Off the Fence with Karen Covy: Mastering Decision Making, Divorce & More

What happens when divorce strips away not just your marriage, but your very sense of who you are? Licensed clinical social worker Debra Alper reveals why so many people emerge from divorce feeling completely lost – especially when they’ve been in emotionally abusive marriages.

Drawing from decades of experience, Debra explains the hidden process of self-erosion that starts long before the divorce papers are filed. The slow buildup of unmet needs, quiet compromises, and unconscious bargains that happens in emotionally abusive marriages often leaves you disconnected from the core of your being.

When divorce happens, you find yourself not only grieving the relationship you lost, but also questioning your own identity. Healing from this kind of trauma isn’t just about getting through the legal or financial parts of divorce. It’s about reclaiming your voice and rebuilding your inner foundation.

From navigating high-conflict divorce and the grief that comes with it, to treating post-divorce dating as a learning lab, you’ll discover how to move from reactivity to intentional choice. If you feel numb, overwhelmed, or unsure how to dream again, this podcast episode will give you permission to play, to daydream, and to let small wins stack into lasting change.

It will show you how to heal, and how to love again.

About Debra

Debra Alper is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and owner of Life Transitions Counseling, PLLC, specializing in relational therapy, helping clients to identify and recover from emotional abuse and divorce process and recovery. She has worked extensively since 1999 with individual clients striving to experience deeper, more meaningful relationships, couples in the midst of marital crisis around infidelity and unhappy, lonely relationships, and clients struggling to get through the emotional and life changing hurdles of pre and post-divorce. She also works extensively with clients in emotionally abusive relationships helping them to understand the dynamics that keep them stuck and aiding them in moving out of toxic patterns.

Connect with Debra

You can connect with Debra on LinkedIn at Debra Alper, LCSW and find out more about how to work with Debra by visiting her website at Life Transitions Chicago.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.
You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

챕터

1. Welcome and Guest Introduction (00:00:00)

2. Divorce as Identity Disruption (00:03:20)

3. Grief, Trauma, and Readiness to Heal (00:06:45)

4. Responsibility vs Blame in Recovery (00:10:45)

5. Everyday Boundaries and Reclaiming Voice (00:15:10)

6. Two Core Exercises: Mirror and Pyramid (00:20:05)

7. Joy, Play, and Hopes Amid Crisis (00:27:15)

8. Selfish vs Self-Care Reframed (00:32:00)

9. Dating After Divorce: Skills and Flags (00:35:10)

10. Final Encouragement and Resources (00:40:10)

11. Closing and Listener CTA (00:40:55)