Episode 137: The Good Enough Parent

Finding Your Village

Thank you so much for listening, in today's episode, I'll be discussing the concept of being a "good enough" parent. This idea might be surprising to some, but it's an essential perspective that can help relieve the pressures and anxieties that often accompany parenthood. So, let's dive in.

The term "good enough parent" was first introduced by British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott in the 1950s. The concept suggests that parents don't need to be perfect; instead, they simply need to provide a loving, nurturing, and safe environment that allows their children to grow and develop into healthy, well-adjusted adults. It's important to recognize that no parent is perfect, and that's okay. All parents make mistakes, and the key is to learn from those mistakes and strive to do better moving forward.

So, what are some practical tips for becoming a "good enough" parent? One of the main aspects is being present and attentive to your child's needs. This means listening to them, empathizing with their feelings, and validating their experiences. Emotional connection is crucial for your child's well-being.

Setting boundaries are also important components of the "good enough" parenting model. Setting boundaries creates a safe and secure environment for your child, helping them understand the consequences of their actions and teaching them important life skills.

In Birthing from Within birth classes we do an exercise about what a good enough parent is. I’ll summarize it and feel free to join in. To start, think about the term “bad parent”, now write down or think of some words associated with what it means for someone considered to be a bad parent. Next, think about the term “good parent”, and write down or think about the words or phrases you associate with what it means to be a good parent. Finally, think about the term “good enough parent” and jot down or think of the phrases that come to mind. Do you find that the phrases associated with being a good enough parent are somewhere in the middle of the first two, perhaps closer linked with being a good parent? Maybe they are a step down from being a good parent. For instance, if you thought of reading to your kids everyday as something associated with being a good parent, perhaps you could think of reading to your kids every other day or every week as a good enough parent alternative.

In conclusion, remember that being a good enough parent is about progress, not perfection. Give yourself grace and be patient with yourself as you navigate the ups and downs of parenthood. Your love, support, and presence are what truly matter to your child. I hope that you found this episode enlightening and that it helps you on your journey towards becoming a "good enough" parent.

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