12 Myths of Divorce

Ex-it Strategy

MYTH #1 - Prenups are only for the rich and famous

Prenups are like insurance for your marriage, never think about divorce when you are getting married but it happens. You don't necessarily have to have wealth at the time you are married but you should have a plan for the wealth you may acquire.

MYTH #2 - Most divorces are nasty drawn-out battles in court

Most? No. Some? Yes. Many people are able to discuss things, have an agreement, and can be simple.

MYTH #3 - If your spouse cheats on you, you will get primary custody of the children

False. The worst husband can be the best father and the worst wife can be the best mother. The only time it will come into play is if your spouse developed a relationship with someone who is not a good person to be around the kids. This could be alcohol or drug problems, etc.

MYTH #4 - There has to be someone at fault to be able to get a divorce in North Carolina

We are a no-fault divorce state, you have to be separated for a year and a day and only one of you has to have the intent to be separated.

MYTH #5 - Divorce without kids are easier

It is not necessarily easier without kids. Pain is pain. Hurt is hurt. There are a lot of different aspects to separation and divorce and you can't necessarily compare yourself with other people.

MYTH #6 - You have to file "separation papers" in order to file for divorce

If you walk out the door with the intent to be separated permanently, you are legally separated and the year and one-day timer start ticking. It does not have anything to do with property, kids, or spousal support. You are separated for all intents and purposes, whether that person wants to be or not, you do not have to be served with anything.

MYTH #7 - I can't move out without an agreement in place because that is abandonment

It is and it isn't. Most of the time it is not. We unpack the differences in our discussion.

MYTH #8 - If we have equal custody, there won't be child support.

In theory that can be true, but it is more than custody time that is taken into consideration. If he makes $150K and she makes $30K then there will likely be child support. This is calculated on guidelines.

MYTH #9 - We've only been married a short time, we need an annulment.

Annulments are rare. Things like illegal marriages, incest, fraud, bigamy, mental disease, and impotence but not the short amount of time many people believe is an option. There may be looser laws in Vegas, but in North Carolina, if you are married for a week, you need to be separated for a year before you can get a divorce.

MYTH #10 - I can't get a divorce because my spouse won't agree to it or sign

It just takes one person to not want to be married. The sheriff will take them their papers.

MYTH #11 - My ex will sign his or her parental rights away

This is not possible. You can relinquish your rights, but there has to be a termination proceeding against you. And that has to be legitimate, you can't just file it or sign a paper.

MYTH #12 - Even though we are separated, my spouse is sleeping with someone else... That's an affair, right?

Legally that's correct, but mostly it is not. It is not a law that is often enforced. We cannot legally recommend that you commit an antiquated crime.