She Is Kind to Me In Ways That Are Very Foreign to Me

Divorcing Dads

Fourteen months after the divorce, Mark is enjoying time with his new girlfriend and learning what it's like to be in a healthy relationship. While Mark and his girlfriend are getting ready for their kids to meet, Mark is working through his relational insecurities. Mark reflects on how his experience as a child to parents who argued often shaped his sense of being responsible for other people's happiness, and contributes to his worrying that his girlfriend is quietly upset or displeased with him. We talk about how to communicate and synchronize with a new romantic partner about goals, meaning-making and disagreements.
On a separate front, Mark's ex informed him that she will be moving to a different town that is about 20 minutes away by car. We talk about the implications of living in different towns for the kids, as well as for Mark.
Topics include:
• When kids and romantic partners meet
• Navigating insecurities in romantic relationships
• Communicating/coordinating/synchronizing expectations and behaviors with a romantic partner
• Is it okay to make mistakes in a romantic relationship? (hint: yes, good relationships allow the grace of recovering from mistakes, together)
• The importance of sharing the burden of leadership in a relationship in a way that works for both people
• How to figure out what you want in a romantic relationship, and how to communicate about it with the romantic partner
• Deciding when and how to progress with physical intimacy in a new relationship
• When the ex announces she is about to move away
• Real challenges, false challenges and advantages of living farther away as co-parents

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