Have I Just Been Suppressing My Feelings?

Divorcing Dads

Nine and a half months after the divorce, Mark accidentally ran into his ex's partner (who was also the ex's affair partner), and was surprised at the intensity of his reaction. We talk about the process of becoming less reactive to past trauma, and about how to manage intense emotional reactions to the ex and her partner. Mark is also wondering how to support his kids about concerns they express regarding their mom's partner. On other fronts, Mark is figuring out his dating ethics and specifically how he feels about dating multiple people at the same time, and wondering if a new relationship could take away from his connection with his kids. We also talk about what to do when feeling sad immediately after the kids leave, and whether or not it's okay to try to feel better, rather than embrace feeling sad about not being with the ones we love.
Topics include:
• How long does it take to stop being triggered by the ex and reminders of the divorce?
• Running into the ex's current partner, who is also the ex's affair partner
• To disclose discomfort or to not disclose discomfort to the ex?
• The benefit of immediately connecting with a friend when becoming suddenly upset
• Measuring "emotional progress" by looking at the time to recover from emotional shocks (and not just by initial intensity of upset)
• How to support kids about concerns they express about the ex's partner
• The ethics of going on multiple dates on the same week
• Dealing with the sadness that sets in after parting with the kids
• It's okay to not experience pain when we're away from people we love; it does not mean we love them any less
• And... Mark's top tip for taking kids to Disney theme parks

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