Ep 1 - The Journey to a Better Life, Starts Here: What Jack Canfield Taught Me

"The Life I Deserve" presents "The Goal Show" by Adrian McMillian

We all have the ability, to be successful. And, while it’s common knowledge that a great education, valuable skills, and strong relationships, are pivotal to success, there are actually some fundamental beliefs, perspectives, and disciplines, that will dramatically increase your chances for success, regardless of your education and skills. Take this journey with me, as I share what I've learned, and we learn more together, to achieve success, beyond your wildest dreams! :-)

Hi, my name is Adrian McMillian. Welcome to “The Life I Deserve”!!

This show was designed to help you identify your passion. And, figure-out, how to pursue that passion.

Here’s a quote that I learned from Jack Canfield, on finding your passion, and your purpose in life: “Don't ask what the world needs, identify what makes you come alive, and then go do that. Because what the world needs, is people who come alive!”

“The Life I Deserve” project was designed to help you, come alive! Join me, as I help you discover your passion. And, then, determine, how to pursue your passion!

I also want to help you, to enhance your health, grow your wealth, and fill your life, with happiness. Subscribe to the Podcast, and stay tuned, as we explore these different areas.

Health

I will share ideas, perspectives, and interviews, on how to enhance your physical, mental, and spiritual health.

My favorite exercise, is dancing. For several years, I’ve been very involved in salsa dancing, and the other dances, you would find at a salsa club, like Bachata, and Cha Cha. I love all types of dances! I started taking West Coast Swing classes a few years ago. And, then I got busy with other things, and stopped the West Coast Swing. But, I really enjoyed it! I really think I’m going to have to work more West Coast Swing, into my life. :-)

Wealth

I will share information, insights, and opportunities, that may help you to, increase your income, and increase your return on investments.

I grew up in San Leon, Texas. Which, is between Houston and Galveston. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters. We didn’t have much money growing up, but we did have very caring parents.

Through many years of study, and hard work, I am now a Director of Technology, for a major motion picture company in Los Angeles, California.

However, the path to true financial freedom, is passive income! I discovered the power of rental properties, about 15 years ago. I bought my first property on Halloween day, of 2002, in beautiful Santa Monica, CA. I have learned a great deal in the last 15 years. And, I’ve developed a strategy that works very well for me. Stay tuned, for episodes, in which I share more about my experiences, and strategies in real estate investing.

Happiness

I will share insights and perspectives, that will help you to discover your passions, and empower you with the skills, resources, and support, to pursue your passions

Happiness, can be an elusive pursuit. What makes one person happy, can be drastically different, from another person. And, for each of us, the source of happiness, changes over time. To make the happiness pursuit even more complex, it is heavily impacted by our past, and associations that we’ve made. True happiness, is often connected with, helping, reaching-out, and connecting with others. It’s human nature to help our brothers and sisters. I believe happiness must be a shared experience. Because, if we only look out for our own happiness, we will end up feeling empty.

What makes me happy? Besides dancing, I love spending time with family...visiting my Dad, creating memories my sisters and brothers. And, of course, I really enjoy time spent, with with my, amazing and talented, nieces and nephews. I also love catching-up with friends. I enjoy tropical vacations. And, I really love helping people.

So, how can we, all, take our happiness to the next level? And, how can we spread that happiness, to the people we love, and care about? Listen to upcoming shows, as I interview experts in this area.

Listen to this entire episode, as I share with you, a powerful formula, that will allow you to take control of your life. Also, I will share with you a story, that has impacted me, and my view of the world. And, I have no doubt, that it will impact you as well!

Questions, Comments, Compliments

“The LIfe I Deserve” is here for you! Please let me know what type of topics you’d like me to research. What kind of people you’d like me to interview. Or, if you, have something valuable to share. If you have any knowledge, insights, perspectives, that can help people to improve their health, wealth, or happiness, reach out to me. Visit “TheLifeIDeserve.com”. And send me email or voicemail. From the Web Site, click on the “Contact” tab, and you’ll see a button, that will allow you to record voicemail. Or, if you’d rather leave email, just fill-in the form, just below the voicemail button.

I really want to hear from you!! And, yes, I mean you! Reach out! Let me know what’s on your mind. Let me know how I can help you. Or, maybe you have an inspirational story, or thought, that you’d like to share. I really want to hear from you!! Just go to “TheLifeIDeserve.com”, and then go to the Contact Page.

Unlocking Success

Jack Canfield, is known as America's #1 Success Coach. He is the founder of the billion-dollar book brand "Chicken Soup for the Soul", a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success.

So, how did I discover Jack Canfield?
While in college, I was got a job at the NASA Johnson Space Center, in Houston, Texas. I was very excited! As a staff member, of the "Scientific and Technical Research Library", I worked hard to prove myself. And I was humbled by the fact, that some people I met, would literally leave Earth for a Space Mission. What made the difference, between a person, doing a job they dread, and a person living their dream, as an Astronaut? Looking for clues, I noticed that many patrons of the library, would put themselves on a waiting list, for a particular set of videos. Out of curiosity, I added myself to the waiting list. After a few months, it was my turn to check-out the coveted videos. The videos were by Jack Canfield. They were titled "Self-esteem and Peak Performance". I watched the videos. Despite the fact, that the videos were already several years old, everything Jack talked about in the videos, made sense to me. The lessons were timeless. And, the concepts were simple, but powerful. Before watching the videos, I had no idea, why some people seem to be on the easy road to success, while others, seemed to be heading down a dead-end road. Watching the videos, I realized that I would be able to accomplish anything, by re-programming how I thought and reacted to my world. Those videos, were the beginning of a new life for me! It's amazing how small changes in the way you approach life, can dramatically change your world!
Let's Do This!
This is the reason for "The Life I Deserve". I invite you to take this journey with me. I invite you to try, new ways of thinking, and ways of being, that may help you to become the person you want to be, for yourself, and for the people that you care about. Over the next several months, I will evolve "The Life I Deserve" into a medium for sharing, learning, and growing together. Please feel free to share with me your thoughts, suggestions, comments, and questions. If I can help even one person in a significant way, this project, and the effort involved with this project, will all be worthwhile. We are all trying to navigate our way through life. Working together, we will not only survive, we will thrive!

The Universe Is Speaking

Last November, I visited my family, in Houston, for Thanksgiving. For some time, I have been trying to figure-out the next steps to take in my life. During that trip, I remembered, it was Jack Canfield’s teachings, that significantly impacted my life, years ago. Maybe I should meet Jack in person. Maybe I should go to one of his events. After discovering Jack Canfield, years ago, I checked-out other motivational speakers, to see what I could learn from them. Zig Ziglar was another great inspiration. Zig was a Texan, full of Texan personality and charm. And, a great sense of humor. He would tell amazing, impactful, true stories. He also, would sometimes tell fictitious stories, that would either make a great point, or inspire his audience with laughter, or both. Here’s one of Zig’s funny fictitious stories. A lady in Dallas, went to see an attorney, about a divorce. The attorney said, “Do you have any grounds?”. “Why yes”, she said, “we have about 40 acres, right out here, on the north end of town”. [laughing] He said, “ma'am, that’s not what I’m talking about, do you have a grudge?”. She said, “No, but we have a nice little carport, on the side of the house”. [laughing] He said, “Ma’am, does that man ever beat you up?”. “Oh no”, she said, “I’m up every day, at least an hour, before he even turns over”. [laughing] He said, “Ma’am, do you accept any responsibility for the difficulties?”. She said, “What do you mean?”. He said, “Well, do you ever wake-up, grouchy?”. She replied, “Oh no, I just let him get-up, on his own”. [laughing] He said, “Well, why do you want to divorce the man?”. She said, “He just can’t communicate.” [laughing] I remember hearing about Zig’s passing several years ago. And I remember thinking, I should’ve seen him, in-person. Well, no more should’ve’s. I’m going to meet Jack Canfield. So, I checked-out the date and location for the next event. At the end of February, in Newport Beach, Jack was teaching his “Breakthrough to Success” course. This course is based on his amazing book titled, “The Success Principles”. Okay, end of February would work. Okay, now how much. $3,000. $3,000? Hmmm. Am I really going to get that much more out of meeting him in person. I decided to go to the gym, get a workout, and think about it. I worked out, came back to my room, and noticed that my binder was not on the nightstand, where I usually put it. I searched everywhere. I went out to my car. Not there either. I looked for at least an hour. Then I started taking inventory, in my head, of the valuable items, in my binder. A cashier’s check for $2,500, from a real estate deal, I had in progress, and gift cards, totaling $500. I had exactly $3,000 in my binder. I told myself. Okay, if I lost the binder, and the $3,000, it’s not the end of the world. I’ll deal with it. After more searching, I finally fell asleep. I woke up the next morning, and somehow remembered exactly where I last placed my binder. I found the binder, with all of the contents inside, including the cashier’s check, and gift cards. The universe was telling me, I can afford the $3,000 to work directly with Jack Canfield. So, I went online, and registered for Jack’s “Breakthrough to Success” seminar. Ironically, it was the last day for the early registration bonus, which was VIP status. VIP status meant, even more time, to spend with Jack!!

A Week of Learning, Exploring, and Sharing

I’ve been to many real estate seminars, but never a motivational seminar. So, I really didn’t know what to expect. The first night was only for the VIPs. I got there early. I spoke to some of the other VIPs. One girl, I spoke with, had been to several motivational seminars. A couple of them, were from Tony Robbins. She told me that she really like the Tony Robbins seminars, however, that nobody got to meet, or spend time with Tony. Tony was on stage, then escorted backstage by bodyguards. Just after telling me that, she said “there’s Jack”. I turned around. And Jack Canfield is standing right behind me. He was speaking to someone. But, as soon as he finished, he warmly said hi, and greeted me. I introduced myself. Told him how he’s already impacted my life, and gave him my “The Life I Deserve” card. He read my business card, “The Life I Deserve”, what a perfect name! I spoke with Jack briefly. I noticed that the girl who was sharing, her motivational event experiences with me earlier, was waiting anxiously. So, I graciously introduced Jack to her, and stepped away.

Broken Agreements

The next morning, we all met in a big hotel ballroom. Music was playing. And the Jack Canfield team gave us high 5’s as we entered. Jack laid-out the logistics. And had us sign to a list of rules, we would abide by. “Arrive on time”, “Do all of the homework”, “Sit in a different seat, after each break”, “No alcohol (until the end of the week)”, “No new, major decisions within 2 weeks after course ends”, and several other commitments. Jack explained each. Different seat each time, to get us out of our comfort zone, and so we would do the exercises with different people each time. Alcohol (even the prior day/night), can affect our focus. And, no major decisions, for 2 weeks, because, in Jack’s words, people sometimes leave the course with a natural high. Jack asks us to then sign the page. Basically, it’s a contract. Oh yeah, Jack also had us read every item out loud. We then had to all stand, if we agree to play by the rules. Jack walked around to see if anybody was not standing. I’ve never experienced so many measures to have everyone keep their word. A couple of days later, while everyone was seated, Jack asked people to stand if they had broken any rules. I was surprised to see, that most of the attendees, stood. Apparently, we all need to work, more diligently, on keeping our word. I remained seated, at first, anyway. But, then I began to review in my head, all that we promised. Okay, we were supposed to think of 100 successes in our life. I think I only wrote down about 60. So I stood. The lesson, if you give your word, keep it. This will improve every aspect of your life. Especially, with yourself. We need to be able to tell ourselves that we are going to do something. And follow through. Broken promises, deteriorate relationships, and they also deteriorate your belief in yourself.

Silent Hug Process

Everyday began with different exercises, physically, and mentally, to get into a state, in which we could open up about our goals, challenges, self-image, and fears. One great exercise, was the silent hug process. I didn’t think I would get much out of this, since I do a lot of dancing, and I’m close with my family and friends. However, Jack taught us how to hug. Kinda seems silly, huh? A lot of the exercises felt kinda silly, at first. However, after years of acting and improv classes (earlier in life), I realized, sometimes you have to just let go. Try the exercise. In improv classes, I learned, if to don’t commit to the scene, it just feels awkward for everyone (you and the audience). Back to the hugs. Jack’s guidelines for hugs; Left to left, so the hearts are closer aligned. No talking. No fidgeting. Breathe. Make eye contact for a couple of seconds after (instead of trying to quickly run away). Okay, let’s give some hugs. After about 10 minutes, you feel, an amazing amount of positive, loving, energy in the room. It was a great way to start each morning. It enabled us all, to feel a little more connected (which enabled everyone to share a little more).

E + R = O

Have you ever heard someone say, that person “made me mad”? In reality, things happen, people do, or say things, we may not like. However, it’s up to us, to decide how to process, whatever happens, or what is said. Jack gives a great example of this. He’ll pick on someone in the front row of his seminar. For example, he might say, “Look at Susan here, can you believe her? She’s dressed like she’s going to a picnic. She’s not dressed for a seminar. And boy, does she ask a lot of questions. Is she even listening?” After giving an example like this, Jack would then ask, “how many people think this would make the person feel bad?”. People would raise their hands. He would then tell them, it was actually a trick question. Because, in this example, only Susan, has the ability to make Susan feel bad. Susan could say, “I knew I should have dressed differently”. And she could say “I guess, I’m asking questions, because, I’m the only one not getting the concepts”. Or, Susan, could say, “Jack’s just picking on me, because he knows I”m confident. I mean, look at me! I’m in the front row. And I ask questions, that other people are afraid to ask. As a matter of fact, with the way he’s looking at me, I bet he has a crush on me”.

The secret formula here is E + R = O. This stands for Event + Response = Outcome. You see it’s not the event, alone, that determines the outcome. It’s what Susan says to herself afterwards that determines the outcome.

That’s just a quick example of this powerful concept. We will cover this more in future episodes.

Come As You Will Be

There were many great lessons. And, I think everyone, became clearer on their life purpose, there goals, and the necessary actions, to get to those goals. For me, the most powerful exercise was the “Come As You Will be Party”. This was the final exercise, in which everyone, was to attend a cocktail party, as if we were 5 years, into the future. As for the people, I talked with, at the Come As You Will Be Party, Phillipe-Franz was the most prepared. He had a copy of his book. The custom cover had great detail. He was dressed in a tux. And he discussed, in detail, how successful he was. And, how he gives back, to the world. I would provide more detail, on Phillipe-Franze, “Come As You’ll Be” image, but I was preoccupied. In my mind, I was thinking, “maybe, my goals should be more aggressive?”. So, where was I, for this, 5 years into the future, party? I had sold over a million copies of my book “The Life I Deserve”. I think Phillipe-Franz had sold 100 million copies of his book. I speak internationally. I was recently interviewed by Oprah Winfrey. And, I’ve been invited to do a Ted Talk. I have a 4,000 square foot house in Santa Barbara, CA. Same town, as Jack. How convenient. As a matter of fact, we occasionally meet for lunch, and brainstorm on ways to help more people in the world. Also, I have a 3,000 square foot house in Maui, where I frequently entertain family and friends. I travel the world, speaking, and training, on how to each person can achieve the life they deserve. And, of course, teach some salsa dancing, while I’m at it!! The “Come As You Will Be” party is powerful because we all have a mental image of ourselves. And we do things unconsciously to support that image. If you’re image, of yourself is 30 lbs overweight. You will quickly get back to that weight, no matter how great the diet. If you’re image, of yourself, is making $75,000. It will be extremely difficult to ever make $100,000. At the “Come As You’ll Be Party”, we spent about 2 hours, with an image, that we were each, very successful. We talked in detail, about our businesses, investments, books, vacations, and philanthropic activities. After the party was over, you want to take the actions to make it a reality!!

Rule of 5

Ever since, I listened to Jack’s “Self Esteem and Peak Performance” videos, years ago, I knew about the “Rule of 5”. A simple concept. In summary, we should each perform 5 actions, every day, to move us toward a breakthrough goal. A breakthrough goal, would be a goal that would really impact your life. A goal that would be so significant, that not only meeting it, would positively, influence your life, but also the pursuit of it, transforms you into a better person. The “Rule of 5” is such a simple concept, that I overlooked how great it could work. Normally, we think of our end goal, and we breakdown what needs to be done. And set a date for each of those items. The Rule of 5, however, forces you, if you are disciplined about it, to get things done every day. It doesn’t matter if they are tiny steps. The Rule of 5 works well, because it keeps the momentum going. If you’re writing a book, for example, which happens to be my breakthrough goal, you must come up with 5 things you can do, toward that goal. You could study someone’s work who you admire. You could add some items to the outline for your book. You could do a little research on one of those items. And, at the end of the day, if you don’t have 5, you push yourself to come up with another item or two. Since I took the “Breakthrough to Success” course, I’m happy to report, that I’ve been implementing the “Rule of 5” every day!!

BTS Summary

Overall, the Breakthrough To Success experience was great!! I’ve learned many great skills from Jack, which have already made a huge impact on my life.

“The Success Principles” Book

I would highly recommend the “Breakthrough to Success” training. If nothing else, at least buy Jack’s book “The Success Principles”. Or, if you’re like me, and you’d rather have a narrator, with an amazing voice, read you the book, while driving, or on the treadmill, you can get the audio version instead. I have Amazon links to both of these on “TheLifeIDeserve.com”. Please use the links from “TheLifeIDeserve.com”, as they will provide me with a very small commission, which will help to support this show. The price to you, is exactly the same, as going directly to Amazon. I sincerely appreciate your support!! :-)

Teaching is the Best Way to Learn

Since the Breakthrough To Success week, I’m happy to announce, that I’ve decided to become an official Jack Canfield trainer! I’m very excited to be taking this journey!! I’m confident that working with Jack, and his training program, will empower me with the tools and skills to be even more instrumental, in helping people discover their passion, set goals, overcome obstacles, and build a life that they deserve!!

Story

I’m going to leave you with a story that I heard Jack tell. This story was part of my inspiration, to create “The Life I Deserve”.

Susanna Crowder was a homeless person, living on the street, in a city, in Ohio. It was winter, and she was 8 months pregnant. She didn’t feel that she had the capacity to take care of herself, much less, a newborn baby. She was very depressed. She was also not in a good mental state. She wasn’t taking her medication. She would dig in dumpsters, for food. She was basically, trying to survive long enough to give birth to the baby. After that, she was planning to kill herself. She had already planned to throw herself in front of a train, that came by, every day, at a certain time. When it was really cold, she would seek shelter in the local library. The library would kick people out, if they weren’t reading, or buying books. One day, she went into the library, to get out of the cold. She walked by a table of books. Susanna said, “I just grabbed one, and I went to a corner, where nobody would bother me”. It happened to be the first “Chicken Soup for the Soul” book. She randomly, opened the book to a story called “Puppies for Sale”. It was a story, about a little boy, who saw a sign, outside of a store, that said “Puppies for Sale”. The little boy went in, and asked to see the puppies. The guy whistles to the back, and someone brings out the box of puppies. The little boy said, “How much are you asking for the puppies?”. The man replied “$20 to $50, depends on the dog”. The little boy replied, “I’ve only got $3.28”, as he put all of his money, on the counter. But I’ll pay you $.50 a week, until it’s paid in full. The man asked, “Which puppy, do you want?”. “I want that one”, the boy said, as he pointed to a puppy, who was limping. The man said, “Oh, you don’t want that one. He has a damaged hip socket. He’ll never be able to jump, run, and play, like the other puppies”. “That’s the one I want”, the boy said. “Kid, are you listening? He’ll never be able to play like the others”, the man replied. The little boy, continued, “That’s the one I want”. The man replied, “Well, you can have that one for free”. The little boy, said, “No, I want to pay full price for him. That puppy is just valuable as the other puppies”. The man replied, “Why would you want to pay full price, for that puppy?”. At that moment, the boy reached down, to pull up his left pant leg, revealing his badly twisted left leg, which was in a brace. “You see, mister, I figure that puppy is going to need someone who understands him”. As Susanna, read that story, she got goosebumps, and said to herself, “If someone could love that puppy with his brokenness, perhaps someone could love me with my brokenness”. And at that moment, she decided not to kill herself, at that moment, she left the library, and went to a mental health center, she got back on her medication. In the course of a year, she got out of that situation, she got a job, she bought a house, she started something called “Soup Kitchens for the Souls” where she not only feeds people, but she teaches people the skills to become self-sufficient. And she still runs her foundation, to this day.

That story resonates with me. Did it resonate you? If so, let me know. Visit the “Contact” page on “TheLifeIDeserve.com”, to send me voicemail or email. We all have the power to inspire, and make a difference, in someone’s life. What difference will you make?

Okay, now time for something a little different. What time is it?

It's Trivia Time

Jack Canfield holds the Guinness Book World Record, for having seven books, simultaneously on the New York Times, Bestseller List. However, it took determination to get there. In 1993, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, approached publishers with the very first, “Chicken Soup for the Soul” book. How many “no’s” did Jack and Mark get, before a publisher said “yes, I’ll publish your book”?

Send your answer from the Web Site, “TheLifeIDeserve.com”. From the Web Site, you can leave voicemail or email. Just click on the “Contact” tab. Again, today’s trivia question is, how many “no’s” did Jack get before publishing “Chicken Soup for the Soul”. Go to “TheLifeIDeserve.com”, to submit your answer.

That’s going to do it, for today’s show. My mission, is to inspire and empower, those that I encounter, to live full and meaningful lives, by sharing lessons learned, tools for self improvement, and life-­changing perspectives. I’m starting a journey. A journey, to pursue a better me, to inspire a better you, and to help influence, a better world. Subscribe to the Podcast, so we can take this journey together.

Closing

Thanks again, for listening to the “The Life I Deserve”. This Podcast was designed for you! Designed to enhance your health, grow your wealth, and fill your life, with happiness!! Visit “TheLifeIDeserve.com”, and send me voicemail, or email. Let me know something about you. What inspires you? How I can help you? What advice do you have? Do you have a suggestion on, how I can improve the show? Let me know. And, if you just happen to love the show, please post a review on iTunes! :-)

Thanks, again! I love you all!! Until next time… goodbye.