Sex isn't everything

Sifted Wheat

*Trigger Warning*

This week’s episode is about exploring why it’s important to realize that sex isn’t everything and everything isn’t sex. I wrestled with what to name this because I didn’t want people to push it away without giving it a chance.. so, I might have given it a bit of a “clickbaity” title to encourage some curiosity? Maybe that’s why you are here, and now that you are, as promised, here are the questions I encouraged you to sift through in your own process of evaluation and assessment of the role of sexuality And the interruption of shame in your story:

Where have you confused the mechanisms of sex with intimacy?

Where have you placed expectations on yourself or those in your life to meet those needs sexually instead of connecting more vulnerably to be seen and known?

Where do you need to set boundaries in relationships so that you can be more confident that it truly is a healthy, life-giving relationship and not a means of releasing sexual frustration?

How old were you when you had your first experience?

What belief systems resulted from that?

Are you still living out of those fears and expectations?

Have you resorted to sexual activities to meet non-sexual needs?

Then as a parent or as an adult: Have you mistaken sexual behaviors in children as “dirty” or “shameful” without considering they might not understand either of those terms?

Have you shamed yourself for these things?

Have you considered what you might need when you resort to self-soothing behaviors and pornography?

Are you seeking sex or do you really need to be loved, held, seen, valued, comforted? Are you bored, tired or emotional? What can you do instead to shift this temptation to something that is more satisfying and less shame-filled?

After you listen, find a safe space to work through these questions with an accountability partner, a spouse, a pastor or a licensed counselor.. the more we open this space in safety, the less hold shame has over us.

As always, you can direct any thoughts or questions to our email [email protected] and follow us on Instagram @siftedwheatpodcast for more encouragement, engagement, and content. 🤎