007: 3,2,1… No Contact!

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

Welcome back to "How to Be a Terrible Daughter," where we tackle the gut-wrenching yet necessary step of going no contact with a narcissistic mother. First, let's break down what "no contact" really means, it's not just about ignoring a few phone calls. It's about reclaiming your peace and sanity from the grip of a narcissist. It’s a dreaded yet liberating move that can feel like cutting off a gangrenous limb to save your life. But trust us, it’s often as necessary as it sounds.

Megan kicks things off with her tale of setting boundaries that her mother bulldozed through, leading to the tough decision of no contact. It's a tale of boundaries being set like iron gates and then, of course, being trampled like they were made of wet tissue paper. Elizabeth shares her own regret about waiting too long to go no contact, reinforcing why the best time to act is yesterday.

We discuss the logistics of cutting ties, likening it to planning a covert mission. Narcissists don’t just vanish into thin air—they escalate, often dragging other family members into the chaos. Think of it as a twisted game of emotional chess, where every move you make needs to be calculated with precision. We offer practical advice on setting boundaries and dealing with fallout from family members who might not understand your decision.

Please note that this episode may include general details of experiences that we’d have with clients in our line of work, but be assured that no identifying information is included and that confidentiality is still maintained.

We’re so happy to be here with you. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at [e-mail]!

What We Cover In This Episode:

● What going “no contact” means and what the main goal of it should be [1:37]

● Megan’s process of going no contact with her other, how she started it and the boundaries she put in place that ultimately weren’t respected [3:29]

● Why Megan didn’t regret going no contact with her mother for about 30 years and the reason that Elizabeth regretting waited so long to do the same with their mother [7:03]

● The “how” of going no contact and the chain reaction that occurs after contact with the narcissist is cut off [13:37]

● Some of the ramifications of going no contact and what you should be prepared for in regard to other family members [16:54]

● The reasons why going no contact for Elizabeth was more complicated and why they say that no matter what your situation is, proper planning is critical [20:03]

● Helpful hints to navigate going no contact if you decide to do it [29:23]

● What the narcissist really wants, and why it’s not saving the relationship with you [45:14]

● A “Mini Crazy Mom Off” about Elizabeth’s mother and how it shows the reality of what happens when you go no contact with a narcissist [46:23]

● An unbelievable response Megan’s mother had to a situation regarding her health that showed who she really was [57:45]

● A game-changing practice Elizabeth is using to return to who they really are [68:03]

● How a movie recommendation from a friend recently provided Megan validation and healing [70:11]

Links & Resources:

003: Barbed Wire Mommy

004: Narcissistic Abuse: A Carnival of Mind F*ckery

Problemista (2023)