Win or Learn

Five Minute Family

Good morning, Five Minute Families. It’s good to be with you again today. It’s almost fall here where we are, and many sports, especially American football, will be starting back. Some coaches will say, “it isn’t about winning or losing, it is how you play the game.” Now, really competitive folks don’t typically like that saying too much. Everyone loves the feeling of working hard and winning! Maybe, for everyday life in general, you have heard the saying, “Well, sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose?” Whether it is actual sports or actual life moments, today let’s think about the twist on that by John Maxwell, “Sometimes you win; sometimes you learn.”

The reality is that “we live in a sinful, fallen world, and sometimes that world falls on us,” as Robert Kellemen says. As a family, sometimes the world falls on us, and we have a choice in difficult family times. Are we going to win, learn, or lose?

As the explanations for Maxwell’s book Sometimes You Win; Sometimes You Learn describe, any setback whether it is a game loss, a bad grade, a botched audition, a job loss, or something less, can be seen as a step forward when we possess the right tools to turn that loss into a gain of knowledge.”

So, how can a five-minute family learn when situations are, or feel like, a loss:

Get back up. Proverbs 24:16 says, “For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” We must choose to get back up - for the sake of our family, for the sake of our community, for the sake of ourselves, and for the sake of God. He saved us from eternal damnation. This world will try to beat you down, but in honor of God and in support of one another, we must each be willing to reengage in the daily battles that will happen.

Evaluate what happened. 1 Corinthians 10:11 reminds us, “Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come.” As Mr. Maxwell points out, “experience isn't the best teacher--evaluated experience is.” It might be hard to talk about what happened as a family, but if we are not willing to evaluate the loss (or perceived loss), we may harbor resentment, false beliefs, or other toxic responses.

Check your emotions. When James 1:2-4 says, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing,” James is not meaning that we have to feel happy about the loss or struggle we are in. God does mean for us to realize that we cannot let our emotions control our next steps. We must acknowledge the emotions so that we can deal with them in healthy ways.

Be honest. Again in James, this time in chapter 3 verse 2, we read, “For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is mature, able also to control the whole body.” Let’s not try to “spin” a loss as a win. We need to fully grasp what we need to learn from the loss, or not full win, so that we can grow closer to one another and to God.

And, last, trust God in the process. So much of our earthly norms and storms come down to Romans 8:28, “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” Practically speaking, as family, try to keep a log, whether in a journal or on the cloud, of all the times, a situation felt like a loss - or, at least, it didn’t feel like a win, and review what God did in the long run. Many of us have a story about a prayer that they prayed and God said no; then, as time marched on, they could see why God did not give them what they asked for then. Share those stories with one another - if they are age appropriate, of course, and remind one another of God’s ultimate plan of victory over death.

God is good. All the time. We forget that way too often in the learning moments. Take time today to commit as a family to use every opportunity in life to grow closer to one another and to God.

Thank you for joining us here at the Five Minute Family. We’d love to have you share your thoughts on family life. Feel free to reach out to us on social media or via our email at [email protected]. Be blessed!