135. Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Relationships Let's Talk About It!

Every one of us, at some point in our sojourn in this world, encounters a point of decision. Whether it’s in our work, businesses, or marriage, life confronts us with the choice of staying our course or leaving. Sometimes the choices scare us, and so we put it off. Shaun Rawls - a highly sought-after keynote speaker and author of “F”-IT-LESS - believes that many of us will put off these critical life decisions so much that life itself eventually makes the decision for us. Through his work and book, Shaun helps other people evaluate and define what’s important for them and outline actions so they can work on the things worth staying for.

In this episode, Shaun and I discuss the kind of work you need to do in evaluating whether you should stay or leave a relationship. We explain why some people don’t leave their relationships, despite knowing that they want to, and describe the impact of holding on to commitments for the sake of being committed. We share how attuning with the wisdom of your body can help with decision-making and share some tools to help people communicate difficult feelings. We also highlight the importance of shifting the blame from your partner and focusing instead on the inner work that you need to do as well as underscore our need to live in our true alignment.

“Whether you’re moving towards staying or going, move towards it together, not as islands where one of you is further away and out.” - Shaun Rawls

This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:

• Encountering the ‘should-I-stay-or-should-I-go’ choice points in different aspects of life
• When to quit and when to stick
• “Ride-or-die” versus “asterisk” commitments and some choice points Shaun met in his life
• The relationship between our personality and how we deal with commitment
• How being committed to commitment prevents us from aligning with who we are
• Living in our true alignment and the power of connecting with your body to help evaluate decisions
• How men normally find it difficult to connect with their feelings and inner selves
• A simple tool to help people communicate what they feel
• Why you need to ask whether you like yourself in your relationship
• The importance of thinking about long-term relationships as choices we make daily
• The inner work involved in determining whether you should stay or leave a relationships
• A merger, a marriage, and how Shaun knew he wanted to leave his first marriage
• Shifting the blame from your partner and how I decided that I’ll stay in my relationship with my wife, Rainbow
• Using the “F”-IT plan to evaluate your relationship and quality of life
• The work involved in long-term relationships

Resources Mentioned:

• The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick) by Seth Godin
• Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap...And Others Don’t by Jim Collins

Connect with Shaun Rawls:

• Shaun Rawls Website
• Shaun Rawls on LinkedIn
• Shaun Rawls on Facebook
• Shaun Rawls on Twitter
• Book: “F”-it-Less: 18 F-Words to Reframe and Repurpose Your Life

Let’s Talk About It!

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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk