Identity Crisis: Part 4

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

TRUISM: Its tough to enjoy life when you’re not particularly confident in who it is that you are! People who haven't learned to accept and get along with themselves tend to have more difficulty accepting and getting along with others. I personally spent years having a hard time getting along with people, until I eventually grew to realize how the difficulties I had with other people were actually "rooted" in the difficulties I had in accepting myself. A wise man once suggested that “a good tree will bear good fruit, and a rotten tree will bear rotten fruit”. Likewise, the "fruit" of our lives comes from the "root" within us. If you're rooted in shame, guilt, inferiority, rejection, lack of love and acceptance, etc., the fruit of your relationships will suffer. However, once you have a deep revelation of who you actually are (which I’m hoping this course will help you to achieve) and begin to accept yourself and others, eventually these new roots will produce good fruit, and your relationships will begin to thrive (if they aren’t already doing so). Here are a few tips I believe will help you succeed at being yourself. 1. Never say or think negative things about yourself, such as, "I never do anything right." "I'll never change." "I'm ugly." "I look terrible." "I'm dumb." "Who could ever love me?" In other words, the way we talk and think about ourselves reveals how we feel about and view upon ourselves. 3. Never compare yourself with other people. You'll never succeed at being yourself if you're trying to be like someone else. Other people can be a good example to you, but duplicating even their good traits will manifest differently through your own unique and individual personality. 4. Focus on your potential instead of your limitations. Actress Helen Hayes was told early in her career that if she were four inches taller she'd be the greatest actress of her time. Her coaches tried various methods of stretching her, but nothing increased her height. She refused to concentrate on the supposed limitation of being five feet tall and decided to concentrate on her potential. As a result, she was eventually cast as Mary, Queen of Scotland—one of the tallest queens who ever lived. 5. Find something you like to do that you do well, and do it over and over. If you spend your time doing things you're not good at, it'll frustrate you and cause you to feel defeated and unsuccessful. 6. Have the courage to be different and deal with criticism well. If you dare to be different, you'll have to expect some criticism. Going along with the crowd when you know you’re meant to be going a different way is one reason people don't succeed at being themselves. You won't like yourself very much if you go against your own convictions. 7. Don't let the way another person treats you determine your value. 8. Keep your flaws in perspective. People with a high level of confidence have just as many weaknesses as people without confidence, but they concentrate on their strengths - not their flaws or weaknesses! To become more confident in who you are and ultimately become more successful at simply being yourself, unfortunately I have both some good news and some bad news to share with you: I’ll give you the bad news first. To be successful, you will need to work harder than most others. You’ll need to be disciplined enough at times to say “no” to good things so that you can say “yes” to the best. ·You will need to be committed to life-long learning and will often be kept up at night as you carefully consider your options. ·You’ll be forced out of your comfort zone. ·You’ll need a thick skin to ignore the barbs of the cynics. ·And even after you’ve done all of this, there’s no guarantee that everything will work out according to plan. But there’s good news too. ·Success is not reserved for a select few people, it’s yours for the taking too! ·There are opportunities in front of you that you can pursue. ·The process of moving towards your goals can be as rewarding as achieving them. ·You will be doing something that you love. ·You will become an inspiration for others and be able to utilise your skills to make a positive difference in the world. ·And you’ll find out that the bad news isn’t as dramatic as it seemed to be before you started. My question is, are you more influenced by the good news or the bad news? So. In conclusion, let me remind you of my opening statement: It's tough to enjoy life when you don't like yourself. When you learn to succeed at being yourself, you'll be well on your way to becoming more confident in who you are and also in enjoying life more fully to the max!