Ep. 315: Is Asexuality an Orientation or a Symptom?

Meredith for Real: the curious introvert

What happens when attraction never shows up? Why does this label matter?

Tony Bogaert, PhD, is the professor of health sciences at Brock University in Ontario, Canada where he has taught & conducted research for the last 30 years, primarily in the area of human sexuality. He’s also the author of Understanding Asexuality.

In this episode, you’ll learn the difference between asexuality & sexual aversion disorder, celibacy & autism as well as how someone might be asexual, but also be married with children. We talk about asexual pop culture icons, historical figures & evolution.

If you like this episode, you’ll also like episode 121: PROFESSIONAL CUDDLER? HUGGING, HORMONES & BODY AUTONOMY

Guest:

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Host:

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00:00 — What if your “thing” is no thing?

01:00 — Game show kickoff: “What’s the Difference?”

01:30 — Asexuality vs. celibacy

02:00 — Midlife disinterest or lifelong orientation?

02:30 — Hyposexual desire disorder explained

04:00 — Asexuality vs. sexual aversion

05:00 — Asexuality and autism spectrum overlap

06:00 — Sheldon Cooper: autism or asexual icon?

07:00 — What causes lack of sexual attraction?

08:30 — Personal motivation behind his research

09:00 — How a survey question sparked 30 years of study

11:00 — Why sexuality takes up so much mental space

12:00 — Why labels drive us crazy—and why we need them

15:00 — “Gray” and “demi”—the asexual spectrum

16:00 — Are we overlabeling, or just being human?

17:00 — Why demisexuality finally clicked for Meredith

20:00 — Love route vs. lust route: two paths to attraction

21:00 — Romantic but not sexual—how that works

24:00 — The sexual recession vs. true asexuality

25:00 — What’s really behind declining sex rates

26:00 — How researchers untangle the gray areas

27:00 — Can people “overclaim” the asexual label?

28:00 — Why some asexuals still masturbate

29:00 — “Cleaning out the plumbing” — other reasons for solo sex

30:00 — Historical roots: early accounts of asexuality

32:00 — Sherlock Holmes and the “asexual aura”

33:00 — Virgin Mary as cultural symbol of purity

34:00 — Eunuchs, testosterone, and the myth of distraction

35:00 — Do asexuals have a focus advantage?

36:00 — Evolutionary puzzles: how does asexuality persist?

40:00 — Is sex really necessary for health?

41:00 — Connection without sex: what it looks like

42:00 — The flowchart of asexuality—how to self-reflect

45:00 — His book Understanding Asexuality and what’s next

46:00 — Sex makes us do crazy things—his next book topic

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