Tiffany Yu is the CEO & Founder of Diversability, an award-winning social enterprise to elevate disability pride; the Founder of the Awesome Foundation Disability Chapter, a monthly micro-grant that has awarded $92.5k to 93 disability projects in 11 countries; and the author of The Anti-Ableist Manifesto: Smashing Stereotypes, Forging Change, and Building a Disability-Inclusive World. As a person with visible and invisible disabilities stemming from a car crash, Tiffany has built a career on disability solidarity. Now that she has found success, she works to expand a network of people with disabilities and their allies to decrease stigmas around disability and create opportunities for disabled people in America. Episode Chapters 0:00 Intro 1:26 When do we choose to share our disability stories? 4:12 Jay’s disability story 8:35 Visible and invisible disabilities 13:10 What does an ally to the disability community look like? 16:34 NoBodyIsDisposable and 14(c) 21:26 How does Tiffany’s investment banking background shape her advocacy? 27:47 Goodbye and outro For video episodes, watch on www.youtube.com/@therudermanfamilyfoundation Stay in touch: X: @JayRuderman | @RudermanFdn LinkedIn: Jay Ruderman | Ruderman Family Foundation Instagram: All About Change Podcast | Ruderman Family Foundation To learn more about the podcast, visit https://allaboutchangepodcast.com/…
A conversation with the author of My Salinger Year. How many characters do you really need? Make a list. Every character needs to be fully-fleshed, each with their own motivations. In order to make them real, you need to find them interesting, complicated. You need to be curious. Then, you need to write from a place of love and cold-bloodedness at the same time. “If you really want to write something great, if you’re really aiming at greatness, at things truly working, not at just like getting something out there, you have to be okay with letting some time pass. … You ultimately know what you want to do. You know what your book is, even if you don’t think you do, you do, and you just have to do be patient with yourself.” Book proposals are difficult to write (it took her two years to write her most recent book proposal). It’s not something to write on your own; it’s something you tackle with an agent. You should not consider hiring a publicist until you sell your book to a publisher. Favorite writing conferences: Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference Sewanee AWP Conference Unbound Festival Newburyport Literary Festival Nantucket Literary Festival Book recommendations: Fairyland by Alysia Abbott Poser by Claire Dederer Wild by Cheryl Strayed When Skateboards Will Be Free by Saiid Sayrafiezadeh The Mothercode by Ruthy Ackerman Permission by Elissa Altman All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung All of Donna Tartt’s novels The Girls from Corona del Mar by Rufi Thorpe Faith by Jennifer Haigh Write Through It by Kate McKean…
A conversation with the author of If You Must Go, I Wish You Triplets : -When you include your thoughts that are unkind, immature, or that you’re embarrassed to admit, it’s funny and relatable. “In the bedroom, I grab two boxes and throw in Perry's shirts, belts, ties, underwear, shorts, and pants, and dump them in the garage. Hopefully, they'll mildew.” -Sometimes you need an outside perspective to title your book. You, as the writer, are too close to it. Fresh eyes on the manuscript could see something you don’t. Virginia used a company called Title Doctor . -When you’re writing a scene about your younger self, think of how that version of you is different from your current self. In Virginia’s case, she used to curse a lot and avoided direct confrontation with her mother, so in the scene, she cursed (only once; otherwise it would have been distracting), and when he mother asked her questions she responded in other ways: shrugging off the jacket she didn’t want, and cursing in her mind, wondering where her ride was. -Endings are hard! According to Virginia, “It’s hard to sign out.” She wrote an Epilogue five years later, and ended with dialogue—a conversation with her ex-husband. Originally, the exchange was supposed to be at the beginning of the book. Late in the writing process, she moved it to the end. -Virginia published her book through Apprentice House Press, the nation’s first and largest entirely student-managed book publisher. They don’t require an agent. University presses are a great way to publish your book if you don’t self-publish or go through a traditional publisher. -Write fan letters to your favorite writers! Virginia wrote a fan letter to Abigail Thomas. She wrote that it was her first fan letter, told her how much she loved her writing, and that she had had a small writing success. Abigail responded immediately and said no writing success is small, and asked Virginia to share the link for the article she had published. Later, Virginia asked her to write a blurb. Abigail read her manuscript and wrote a blurb that said, “I’ve never quite felt this way before with any other book.” -Virginia’s advice, when I asked about publishing my first book, was to get into a writers group. You need a few people to read your writing and see how everything is landing.…
A conversation with the author of It Must Be Beautiful To Be Finished. -The key to writing about someone you love who you’ve also been hurt by, is to write with empathy. Think about their perspective and their experience and be generous and loving when you do. -Be wary of the please-feel-bad-for-me voice -Analogies should be both fresh and accurate -Metaphors written as standalone chapters, without any reference to how they relate to your story, are a powerful way to trust the reader and not hit them over the head with they're meaning. -The most important person in getting her book published was her agent. -Three memoirs that have inspired her writing.…
A conversation with the author of Happy To Help: Adventures of a People Pleaser. LINKS Books: Happy To Help When Did I Get Like This? Essay: Why I Didn't Want A Girl (originally titled: A Daughter At Last) Podcast: What Fresh Hell? References: Mom 2.0 Conference Booked Author series Zibby Retreat (Santa Barbara)…
Here’s what I learned from Happy To Help: Adventures of a People Pleaser by Amy Wilson: Include your fantasies. It’s especially funny if you can incorporate four levels in the build up to the punchline: First: set the scene—what’s about to happen Second: set the stakes—why is this a big deal Third: fantasy/a positive hypothetical of what’s to come Fourth: Dialogue/action of what actually transpired Write a short and snappy analogy that has pronouns and alliteration: “It was like hiring Kidz Bop for a bachelor party.” Include proper nouns. Proper nouns that are personal to you make the writing more compelling, specific, and yes, even funny: “I used to make fun of my husband for letting his perception of a good night's sleep be ruined by what his Whoop told him.”…
Memoir deep dive #21 Here’s what I learned from Here After by Amy Lin: One way to treat your audience like a genius is to not say the next obvious thing. Where can I leave out what the reader already knows is coming? One approach to this: in every paragraph I write, where can I remove the last sentence? “I stare at the blank ceiling tiles and wonder when Kurtis will call me. I have so much to tell him.” Expressing negative feelings about a person’s appearance is funnier than directly expressing negative feelings about the person. “Also, I hate Michelle’s haircut.” When using Anaphora—which is repetition at the start of a sentence or clause—the last line should punch with specificity. “It is the only thing I feel able to do since he died. The only way I am able to say what it is like for me. The only place I can meet grief without being utterly consumed by it.” The most important place to leave out thoughts and feelings (and only show dialogue and action) is when I’m the most emotional. The angrier I feel, the less feelings should be put on the page.…
Here's what I learned from Good Prose: The Art of Nonfiction by Tracy Kidder and Richard Todd: -When writing memoir, never insert present knowledge about your past if it means condemning your past self or celebrating your present self. -Avoid casual prose such as, "you know," or "bet you thought," or "ummm, hello?" This style of writing seeks instant intimacy with the reader. It's a style what wants to SEEM fresh and authentic but has the opposite effect. -Don't be melodramatic! I cannot write that "I was homeless" because I was crashing on my friend's couch in between living situations. Just write what happened. Just write the facts. -If you want to publish a book you don't need a marketing plan or a book proposal. You need 20-30 pages of good prose and a trusted agent's counsel.…
Here’s what I learned from my conversation with Sandy Schnakenburg, author of The Housekeeper's Secret : When you’re writing about a tragic or shocking event, one way to create suspense is to tease that something bad is coming. In the book she had a terrible accident on her bike, and at the beginning of the chapter a character calls out and tells her to be careful riding to school. From there until the moment of the crash she slows down time by including the tiniest details and specifics surrounding the moment—what time she left, her route to school, who she was meeting, why she couldn’t be late, and that first period math was her favorite. She described the actual ride, the way she rode with no hands, and later how she stood up on the pedals. It took Sandy 14 years to write her book, and the structure changed from a book of essays, to a braided memoir, to a chronological, compressed timeline with a hook at the beginning pulled from the midpoint of the story. An editor helped her to remove 50,000 words and bring the reader more onto the page by removing her analysis of the scenes. Her editor said, “Leave it to the reader. Let them decide. Let them process what happened.” Sandy wrote a synopsis and summary of her book before it was ever finished. She sent the synopsis to an agent and he picked her up—just like that! She attended the San Francisco Writers Conference, where she pitched her book all day long to writers, editors, and agents. It was there she met her editor and book publisher. If you want to publish a book your story needs to have a universal theme. Once you have that and can really communicate that, then you need to figure out how to distribute it. Then you need a good publicist. (Sandy interviewed twenty-five publicists.)…
Here’s what I learned from Long Live The Tribe Of Fatherless Girls by T Kira Madden: First lines should make the reader curious to read more. They can be surprising, specific, and/or present a conflict. It’s important to stay in moments longer by going deeper with details and going on tangents that add context. Write unsparingly about yourself to get the reader to root for you—without disclaimers. Write about complicated characters in your life by sharing stories that show their different sides.…
Here’s what I learned from Still Life At Eighty by Abigail Thomas: Revealing the dark parts of yourself in writing makes those things less scary and less powerful. Simple, clear, no-frill writing can be just as powerful and moving as fancy prose. Lean into your style, whatever it may be. Sometimes writing can just be keeping a log of your feelings and experiences. It might not be something to publish now, but later, when you can look back at that time in your life and have rich details to include once you’ve had some separation from it. If you don’t know what to write about, write about what you’re struggling with. Rhythm is important: Print out what you’ve written in a different font so it looks like somebody else wrote it and read it out loud. When your voice goes dead, there’s either something hiding behind that sentence or it’s just boring. Memoir is not a place to get revenge or cast oneself as victim. Freelance Writing Direct podcast interview with Abigail Thomas…
Here’s what I learned from My Salinger Year by Joanna Rakoff: How to write dialogue in a novelistic or cinematic way: Include details about the surrounding area. The weather, scenery, anything the characters interact with, other people in the room. This is especially useful at the start of the scene, and if/when the scene changes. When you add context for the reader it should relate to the dialogue before it. It can also help establish the relationship of the characters. There are three people to consider in a two-person conversation: the two people in the scene and the reader. Dialogue can be inside-baseball between the two characters even it’s unclear to the reader, but interjections by the writer can clarify and invite the reader into what’s happening. A scene should not end at the end of the conversation, but at a point when a character says something that transitions into the next scene. And here’s the link to Joanna’s conversation with Estelle Erasmus on Freelance Writing Direct.…
I submitted a personal essay to the New York Times weekly column, Modern Love. In this episode I talk about how I learned about the column, how I decided to submit an essay under my real name, and a little context for what the essay is about. References: 39 Submission Tips for Modern Love Estelle Erasmus interviews: Noah Michelson Joanna Rakoff Abigail Thomas Maggie Smith Cheryl Strayed…
Here’s what I learned from three sobriety memoirs: The Night of the Gun by David Carr: Interview the people from your past. It doesn’t have to be formal or recorded. It could be as simple as a text message to see what they remember about the event. This can accomplish three things: It’s a way to add more details into your story. It allows the person to feel like they’re a part of the process of writing it as opposed to feeling like it’s one-sided. It makes you, the writer, more relatable and reliable because you’re giving different perspectives. The Unexpected Joy Of Being Sober by Catherine Gray: Don’t break the fourth wall to manipulate the reader or try to get them on your side. Breaking the fourth wall should always be a statement, not a question. Option: Use sarcasm or let them in on a secret. We Are The Luckiest by Laura McKowen: Just tell the story and leave the reader out of it.…
Heres’s what I learned from Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp AND The Elements Of Eloquence by Mark Forsyth. Anaphora is when you start each phrase, sentence, or paragraph with the same word or words. But be careful: readers always remember the opening words but often forget the rest. So when using anaphora, be intentional about what you want to emphasize. Also, only using one word for the anaphora—as opposed to a phrase—is slightly less powerful but beautifully hypnotic. Epistrophe is when you end each phrase, sentence, or paragraph with the same word. Diacope is when a word or phrase is repeated after a brief interruption. Parataxis is short, clear, matter-of-fact sentences, often subject-verb, without conjunctions (think Hemingway). Knapp was selective with parataxis, using it when she wrote about the moment she found out her father died and again at the moment her mother died. In both instances, it was a shocking, cringey admission because she was drunk both times. Pleonasm is the use of unneeded words, sometimes repeating the exact same word, other times saying the same thing in a slightly different way. This can annoy readers, but when utilized for intentional redundancy can be quite effective and powerful.…
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