Having the Courage to Follow Your Gut and Ask Yourself Difficult Questions

Jo & JJ Go Mental

Our letter this week is from Jane, who is completely fed up with her team and feeling like they are bumbling idiots who can’t get anything right! To make it even worse, her boss isn’t backing her up or helping by any means.

We help Jane (and maybe you!) see things from a fresh new perspective by taking a step back, checking-in with gut feelings and asking tough questions. While she may think that her team are idiots that doesn’t make it true - perhaps Jane is simply so exhausted and stressed out and angry that she can no longer see things straight. Maybe taking a step back will help her to rethink things, and look to find some solutions. Or maybe things have just gone too far, and Jane needs a new job and is too afraid to really confront those feelings.

Either way, tune in to find out more!

Takeaway:

[3:21] We discuss the case of Jane who says her team are a bunch of idiots and they can’t do anything right! It not only makes her question if people can be that stupid but also angry that her boss isn’t backing her up and giving her the support she needs.

[6:15] We pull apart the threads for Jane, validating her anger and getting to the bottom of what she really is angry about. She possibly could really be that mad at her team, but there are also other elements to it around her boss not supporting her, as well as other things that might be going on in her life right now..

[13:04] It's not about who is right or wrong, it is about reducing pain and suffering and that can mean many things.

[16:15] Just because Jane thinks her team are a bunch of idiots, does not mean that they actually are. When we are stressed and anxious (for example because of the pressures of work) it can often happen that we can no longer see straight. While we validate the emotions, the thoughts we have are merely thoughts. Jane may want to work on managing the impact of her emotions, so she can take a step back to come up with solutions for working with her team and staying centered.

[18:53] Of course, another possibility is that things have just got so bad for Jane, that there is no going back. Fear can trick us into believing that a job or situation we are in is the best choice, but really we are just afraid of the “what if’s” that may come with leaving it. This may be a time for Jane to check-in with her gut and see if this is really even a job she wants to be at.

[20:03] The exhausting part of situations like this is usually resistance to some reality.

[28:20] We discuss going even deeper into the emotions that come up. Going three steps down from sadness and anger often gives us a whole new level of answers about our situation that may be surprising.

[29:03] Ask the hard questions! For Jane, she may ask if she even wants to be at her job if this is the reality!

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Joanna Denton | Dr. JJ Kelly