It's Still Complicated

Grief Out Loud

"What was your dad like?" It's a simple question that's not easy to answer when you had a complicated relationship with the person who died. Claire's dad died of a stroke almost four years ago and one of the first emotions she felt was relief. Relief that she wouldn't have to worry if he would want to walk her down the aisle when she got married. Relief she wouldn't have to wonder how he'd act in the future. She also felt deep grief and sadness about the relationship they never got to have. Claire's dad was brilliant. He loved music. He was extremely active. He was also emotionally abusive to Claire and her mom. This reality adds layers of complexity not just to her grief, but to navigating other people's assumptions about what their relationship was like.

We talk about:

• Grieving when the relationship was complicated
• Secondary grief & remorse
• Forgiving herself & trying to better understand her dad
• Continuing to work on their relationship, even after his death
• Finding ways to stay connected to her dad
• Planning a wedding and balancing how to honor his memory