#20: The Meaning of Marriage

Exploring Kodawari

The first evidence of marriage ceremonies dates back to 2350 BC in ancient Mesopotamia, and since then cultures around the world have had their various interpretations of this practice.

So in this episode, we (Luke and Yankı) have a conversation about the meaning of marriage—both specifically for us but also more generally as a cultural phenomenon.

We talk about marriage rates, divorce rates, and how the general view towards marriage has changed in our cultures over time. We also wondered what the definition of marriage is and just how strict the marriage vows should be.

What does it mean to make an oath that you can never leave? Is it good or bad to be stuck in a marriage? And when is it morally okay to leave? Also what role should love play in a marriage?

Those questions don’t have definite answers, but they are great jumping off points to explore the psychological, spiritual, and evolutionary aspects of marriage.

Thanks for listening, and enjoy the episode!

Timestamps (clickable on webpage):

• [02:30] What is the definition of marriage?
• [11:40] The spiritual aspect of marriage and the tradition of two people holding a candle above their heads
• [20:29] Heraclitus: “The only thing constant is change” and how marriage can provide a stability in this constantly changing life
• [25:24] Marriage and divorce statistics
• [34:49] The pros of making a vow/oath to force oneself to stick to one’s principles
• [45:59] Meet the Patels, a movie about the Indian-American Ravi Patel on his search for a wife
• [53:05] “Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.” ― G. Michael Hopf, Those Who Remain
• [57:15] The biological and evolutionary aspects of marriage
• [01:03:06] What is love and what role does it play in marriage?

Links:

• Marriage and Divorce Statistics
• Are Any Animals Truly Monogamous? by MinuteEarth
• Game of Thrones Philosophy: Oaths, Honor, Duty, and Love
• Human progress data
• The Real Reason for Marriage - Prof. Jordan Peterson
• Meet The Patels
• Alan Watts—Falling into Love
• Tara Brach’s Radical Acceptance
• The Value of Beginner’s Mind (This is an article on our website that works nicely for maintaining appreciation in relationships.)

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