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181: When Repair Conversations Fail: He Gets Defensive, Sounds Robotic, and is Unemotional
Manage episode 463992035 series 2865604
When Healing Conversations Go Wrong –
When pornography damages a relationship, couples need to talk about the pain to heal.
But these conversations often hit a wall: he gets defensive, sounds like a robot, or just shuts down.
This leaves her feeling even more alone and wondering if she should have stayed quiet.
The cycle is painful: she shares her hurt, he responds without emotion, and both end up feeling worse than before.
Many couples start dreading these talks entirely, worried they'll just create more damage.
Today, I'll reveal why these conversations break down and how to fix them.
You'll learn four key reasons repair talks fail, plus practical ways to solve each problem.
Whether you're triggered, hurting, or just want to connect better, these strategies will help you have the meaningful conversations your relationship needs to heal.
Let's turn these dreaded talks into moments that actually bring you closer.
As a therapist who's helped hundreds of men through this struggle, I can tell you something important:
Quitting porn isn't about willpower. Most men get stuck because they're taking the wrong approach - trying to force themselves to stop or just avoid triggers.
Today, I'll share three key elements that actually work.
No more guessing, no more endless cycles of trying and failing. Instead, you'll get a clear, practical plan that addresses the real reasons you're stuck.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
sam@healingcouples.org
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
188 에피소드
Manage episode 463992035 series 2865604
When Healing Conversations Go Wrong –
When pornography damages a relationship, couples need to talk about the pain to heal.
But these conversations often hit a wall: he gets defensive, sounds like a robot, or just shuts down.
This leaves her feeling even more alone and wondering if she should have stayed quiet.
The cycle is painful: she shares her hurt, he responds without emotion, and both end up feeling worse than before.
Many couples start dreading these talks entirely, worried they'll just create more damage.
Today, I'll reveal why these conversations break down and how to fix them.
You'll learn four key reasons repair talks fail, plus practical ways to solve each problem.
Whether you're triggered, hurting, or just want to connect better, these strategies will help you have the meaningful conversations your relationship needs to heal.
Let's turn these dreaded talks into moments that actually bring you closer.
As a therapist who's helped hundreds of men through this struggle, I can tell you something important:
Quitting porn isn't about willpower. Most men get stuck because they're taking the wrong approach - trying to force themselves to stop or just avoid triggers.
Today, I'll share three key elements that actually work.
No more guessing, no more endless cycles of trying and failing. Instead, you'll get a clear, practical plan that addresses the real reasons you're stuck.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
sam@healingcouples.org
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
188 에피소드
모든 에피소드
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1 185: She Thinks If She Was Enough, He Wouldn’t Have Watched Pornography (you need to hear this) 20:34
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1 184: Rob's Success Story: How He Went From Almost Divorced to No More Triggers and Urges 33:34
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1 183: Fundamental Steps to Repairing Your Marriage After Discovering Pornography Use 20:20
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1 182: Is Porn Addiction Just Part of Who I Am? Do This and It Won’t Be 23:22
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1 181: When Repair Conversations Fail: He Gets Defensive, Sounds Robotic, and is Unemotional 21:05
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1 180 Success Story: Tyler's New Approach to Ending His Porn Use In Just A Few Months Without Anxiety and Self-Punishment 47:38
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1 179: Critical Advice For Men Who Aren't Free From Porn For 90 Days Yet 18:49
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1 178: 3 Safety Indicators When It’s Hard For Her to Believe He’s Telling the Truth 24:32
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1 177: 5 Mistakes to Avoid if You Want to Quit Pornography in 2025 27:39
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1 176: Why Quitting Pornography Has Felt Hard (and 3 practical strategies that make it much easier) 21:31
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1 175: When He Doesn’t Talk About His Urges, She Thinks He’s Just Hiding Them 21:07
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1 Mini Episode 3: A Proven Strategy to Rebuilding Trust After Pornography Use 3:48
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1 174: Don’t Suppress Urges, Here’s How You Can Use Them to Overcome Pornography Use 26:49
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1 Mini Episode 2: Understanding Emotions Can Shortcut the Healing Process 4:59
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1 173: Improving Sexual Intimacy When There's Been Damage By Pornography Use 37:18
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