#104 What To Do When You Get A Breakup Text Out Of The Blue From Your Husband Of 16 Years with Lisa Arends

Breakup Recovery Podcast

Lisa’s life felt like a movie gone bad when she received a text whilst on holidays from her husband of 16 years telling her the marriage was over. And that was the last piece of correspondence she ever had from her husband. After some digging Lisa found that her husband had been living a double life, he had manufactured a job he didn’t have, he fabricated an income, racked up a 6-figure debt and had married another woman therefore committing felony bigamy.

Lisa felt completely alone, and started to journal her story as therapy, which soon become her blog ‘Lessons from the end of a marriage’ with the intention to help other people who were facing similar situations. The blog also shares stories on how to survive divorce, life in general, how to overcome abandonment, emotional abuse and gaslighting, which Lisa experienced.

People often struggle with the length of time it can take to get over a breakup, and want to feel better right away. They often get down on themselves when they don’t feel better on the time frame they have allowed.

Having gratitude is an amazing and powerful tool that can be used to help train the mind to focus on all the good things that are happening in your life, rather than giving attention the bad things that are occurring after a breakup.

Another of Lisa’s tips is to start a journal, not just for dumping all your emotions and feelings in it and keeping you at the pity party. Divide the journal into three sections, the first section is for purging and get out all the pain ad the past. The second one is for the present, what you are thankful for right now, and for some problem solving. The third and last section is for your future hopes and dreams. They don’t have to feel attainable right now and that’s ok, its more for thinking forward and keeping the hope alive.

Lisa believes that people can get stuck in thinking that things will never be the same and they will never be happy. However things can be different and that is ok and could even be better. Having balance in your life is also important, not focusing too much on your troubles and worries, but spending time enjoying yourself and bringing happiness back into your life.

Lisa’s blog can be found @ lessonsfromtheendofamarriage.com and follow on twitter @stilllearning2b