Recognizing a Destructive Marriage

Becoming Whole

Can you recognize a destructive relationship?

No relationship is perfect. But, we’re talking about more than just feeling disappointed. Can you tell the difference between a difficult relationship and one that is tearing you down?

In this episode of “Becoming Whole,” Josh and Kit identify patterns to look for and unpack what they mean.

Our deepest desire is to be known and loved. At a deep level then, you must be aware that something is not right. We hope this message puts some light on the truth about your relationships, the good and the bad.

We hope you’ll learn what is healthy versus unhealthy.

We hope you’ll be empowered to make change and move forward in health and reclaim your hope. (This conversation is inspired by “The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope” by Leslie Vernick. Please see the Homework and Extras section below for more)

Highlights:

Ask God for the truth, begin to switch them out, begin to change the narrative

When our spouse has a chronic indifference about who we are and what we need, that eats away at the very core of how we’re wired to be loved and known.

Where there are lies or denial in a relationship, there’s really no foundation to build on.

Homework:

Five Patterns (repetitive, characterized by a lack of remorse)

1. Reactive Abuse: Physical, Sexual, Spiritual, Economical, or Verbal
2. Gross imbalance of power and control with an attitude of entitlement
3. Chronic deceit
4. Chronic dependency
5. Chronic indifference

Ways to Embrace Change (begin with what’s my part and owning it). And then:

1. Refuse to keep secrets
2. Reach out and Get Support
3. Prayer - talk to God about what’s going on
4. Name what scares you
5. Identify lies and replace them with corresponding truth

EXTRAS
“The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope” By Leslie Vernick

Transcription:
Full Transcription Available here
Original music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.
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