Dear Diary: Why is the Bar Set So Low? with Tutti del Monte

The Refined Collective Podcast

Language disclaimer: this episode includes explicit language so maybe listen with headphones if you’re around children.

You know how when you say something to your best friend it's not as scary as saying it to an audience of thousands of people so you feel free to be completely honest and vulnerable? Well my best friend and I recorded an episode that we didn't think we'd ever share, but here it is! We really just let ‘er rip in this convo. We talk about:

• What if we gave ourselves the permission to feel anger?

• Navigating disappointment in dating

• Why is the bar set so low for men in dating right now?

• Are our dating expectations too high?

• Are we expecting our partner to meet needs for us they were never meant to need?

• How do we process our disappointment in dating without turning into a bitter + cynical single woman (you know “that girl”...we’ve all met her!)

• Why is voicing our needs in a romantic relationship so hard?

• How owning my voice in dating has been as vulnerable as it has been liberating!

Feeling Frustrated

• We share recent stories of being ghosted and stood up and how we felt about those situations and how we responded to them.

• “It feels really vulnerable to put on a podcast because I get afraid that if I’m really honest about how disappointed I am with my experience with men, being a 37 year old woman, I become the ‘bitter single woman.’”

What We’re Working On

• Tutti talks a lot about voicing her needs being something she wants to prioritize moving forward.

• I share a breakthrough moment where I sent a text to a guy who stood me up— a text I wouldn’t have ever sent before.

• What is something you are working on?

Moving Forward

• Where do you think the disconnect is in these situations?

• How did we get here?

• How do you think we need to move forward?

Resources

• Join Patreon here!

• Listen to Dear Diary: Am I A Good Kisser?

• Listen to Dear Diary: Excerpts from my Middle School Journal

• Keep up with Tutti on Instagram at @tuttidelmonte

• If you need a boudoir photographer, check out budoirbytutti.com

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