13. Piranha 3DD Review

The Movie Dump Podcast

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water…naked! That’s right fishies and girls it’s Piranha 3D sequel time for us here at the Movie Dump. Can our toothy friends feast from the buffet of awesomeness once more? Or will they go belly up in the proverbial red tide of bad movie sequels? Find out as we review Piranha 3DD.

Piranha 3DD Review

P.S. We had a lot of issues with our mics on this one and were able to edit around most of them but a few we had to bit the bullet on and keep it. We apologize in advance and will make sure the next podcast runs more smoothly. Thanks.

Plot

A year after the attack on Lake Victoria by prehistoric piranhas, an eradication campaign has left the lake uninhabitable by life, and the town itself has been largely abandoned as a result of the drying-up of their main revenue source, tourism, but some residents still remain on the lake.

At a nearby lake, Clayton and Mo, two farmers, walk into the water to recover the body of a dead cow. Piranha eggs that have been laid inside the cow hatch, and the farmers are killed by the swarm.

Maddy, a marine biology student, returns home for the summer to the waterpark she co-owns. She finds to her horror that the other co-owner, her step-father Chet, plans to add an adult-themed section to the waterpark with ‘water-certified strippers‘, and re-open it as “Big Wet”. At a party at the waterpark that night, Maddy encounters several old acquaintances, including her policeman ex-boyfriend Kyle Knight, and Barry who has secretly had a crush on her since grade school. She also runs into two of her close friends, Ashley and Shelby. Shelby and her boyfriend Josh go skinny-dipping in the lake, where a piranha makes its way inside her vagina. Meanwhile, Ashley and her boyfriend Travis make love in their van. They accidentally trip the handbrake, causing the van to roll into the lake, where they are both devoured.

The next day, Maddy is consoling Shelby about their missing friends. While sitting on a jetty, they are both attacked by the swarm of piranhas. They manage to kill one, and Maddy, Kyle and Barry bring it to Mr. Goodman to examine. He informs them that the piranhas may be moving via sewage pipes and underground rivers between lakes, attracted by chemicals involved in swimming pool cleansers that match their spawning routes. However, the wider world wouldn’t listen to him, based upon his theory that the fish would evolve to become terrain-viable. The trio return to the lake, where they establish that the piranhas cannot make their way into the outflow pipes connecting the lake and the water park. While Shelby and Josh are having sex, the piranha in Shelby’s vagina bites Josh’s penis, forcing him to chop the organ off with a knife. Both are hospitalized, but survive. Kyle is revealed to be corrupt and taking pay-offs from Chet, who is secretly pumping water from an underground river into the waterpark. Chet orders Kyle to keep Maddy from finding out the secret.

“Big Wet” opens the next day. Among the first guests are Deputy Fallon, who survived his previous ordeal with the piranhas but lost his legs, and former cameraman Andrew Cunningham (Paul Scheer). While the duo attempts to overcome their fear of the water after they were attacked a year ago, David Hasselhoff also makes an appearance as a celebrity lifeguard.

Discovering the connection between the park and the underground river, Maddy attempts to shut the waterpark down, but is stopped by Chet and Kyle. The piranhas make their way to the area and attack, killing many of the lifeguards and waterpark-goers. Fallon attaches a shotgun prosthesis to his legs in order to save the visitors, while Hasselhoff, after rescuing a small boy named David, becomes pleased that he has finally become a real lifeguard. In the chaos, Chet is decapitated by a low-hanging cable after attempting to drive away and escape.

Maddy instructs Barry to begin draining the pools; however Maddy, who is rescuing people from the water, becomes caught in the suction and dragged down to the bottom of the pool. After Kyle refuses to save her because of his shock, Barry, despite being unable to swim, leaps down and brings her to the surface, whereupon Maddy is revived and they kiss.

Another employee, Big Dave, pours gasoline into the pipes, followed by a lit joint. The resulting explosion kills most of the piranhas, while Kyle is killed by a falling trident. The celebrations are cut short however, when Maddy takes a phone call from a horrified Mr. Goodman, who informs them that the piranhas are evolving and are now able to move on land, to which Maddie informs him that she knows. The film ends as one such piranha emerges from the pool and decapitates a man.

In a post-credits scene, Hasselhoff is running on a beach holding a trident, which is an advertisement for a film titled Fishhunter.