Mikaela Kiner: The Risks of "Nice"

The Empathy Edge

Your culture is shaped by models, expectations, and accountability. It's not enough to have pretty values statements up on the wall if they are not a part of everyday interactions internally and externally. But simply telling your people to "be nice" can be its own risk. What does nice actually mean? How is it different from the skill of empathy or the impact of kindness? You may be surprised to learn why simply being nice can be risky and why empathy and kindness are more practical values to model and reward.

My guest today is Mikaela Kiner, founder, CEO, and executive coach. We discuss the risk of being nice and how it can hamper connection and results. Why and how to expect kindness from everyone you work with - from colleagues to partners to clients. How clarity is kind - and leads to better results. Mikaela shares tips on making more space to practice listening and empathy and the tradeoff you make when you claim you "don't have time" to build those connections with your employees. And Mikaela shares why two big-empathy, high EQ execs from two of the largest tech giants in the world are her all-time favorite clients.

To access the episode transcript, please search for the episode title at www.TheEmpathyEdge.com

Key Takeaways:

• Helping people figure out if they’re in the right role is empathetic. Forcing someone to stay in a role because it’s “nice” isn’t empathetic.
• People tend to think short-term, but we need to consider long-term investment. Putting time into your team will help with retention, which will save time in recruiting and training later.
• Schedule less in your day. Then, when a team member reaches out or an emergency happens, things will feel less frantic and frustrating, which leads to greater empathy.
• Think of tactics as a team that will help your organization feel less busy and less frantic by scheduling in buffer time.

"Something that so many people forget is that you can have really healthy, non-adversarial conflict. We can disagree, we can speak our minds, we can hash things out in a way that isn't nasty or argumentative." — Mikaela Kiner

Episode References:

• The Empathy Edge Podcast: Justin Jones-Fosu: How to Respectfully Disagree - and Not in a Passive-Aggressive Way
• I Respectfully Disagree by Justin Jones Fosu

From Our Partner:

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About Mikaela Kiner, Founder & CEO, Reverb

Mikaela Kiner is a founder, CEO, and executive coach. Her company Reverb helps organizations create healthy, inclusive cultures. Prior to Reverb, Mikaela held HR leadership roles at Northwest companies including Microsoft, Starbucks, and Amazon. She enjoys coaching leaders at all levels and working with mission-driven organizations. Mikaela is the author of Female Firebrands: Stories and Techniques to Ignite Change, Take Control, and Succeed in the Workplace. Her young adult children are good at challenging the status quo and are a constant source of learning and laughter.

Connect with Mikaela:

Reverb: reverbpeople.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/mikaelakiner

Instagram: instagram.com/mikaela_firebrand

Book: Female Firebrands

Online Training: Practical Skills for Great People Leaders: reverbpeople.com/services/leadership-development/on-demand-management-training

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Hire Maria to speak at your next event: Red-Slice.com/Speaker-Maria-Ross

Take my LinkedIn Learning Course! Leading with Empathy

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