Thoughts On Self-Rejection and Discipline

Surrendered Business

One who neglects discipline rejects himself,
But one who listens to a rebuke acquires understanding.
Proverbs 15:32

Having started my career in sales almost three decades ago and now working as an entrepreneur, I am familiar with rejection. Every salesperson expects to hear the word “no” many times on the journey to success.

Many salespeople struggle with the fear of rejection. Good sales coaches will remind them that the prospect is not rejecting them, they are rejecting the offer. So pick your chin up and keep at it!

Nobody likes rejection from other people. However, the real issue with rejection is when we internalize rejection and start rejecting ourselves.

External rejection becomes internalized. Rejection from others becomes self-rejection. This is a hard place to live.

How can we know if self-rejection has taken root?

This proverb says we can know based on our level of discipline. “One who neglects discipline rejects himself.” Proverbs 15:32.

If you flip this around, you could say that one who rejects himself neglects discipline.

I love the way this one statement calls out the problem and identifies the solution. The problem of self-rejection can be identified by a lack of discipline. Areas, where we find ourselves undisciplined, are dashboard lights warning that there may be a deeper heart issue of self-rejection.

The solution is also contained in the wisdom of this proverb: Self-rejection is overcome by discipline.

We can think of discipline as a kind of punishment. We can also think of discipline as habits.

Let’s think of habits.

I like to define discipline as doing hard things consistently.

Last year as I trained to trek to Everest Base Camp at 17,500 feet above sea level, I realized that I was going to need to do hard things consistently to prepare. If I didn’t, I wasn’t going to make it.

The goal of getting to base camp (and the fear of failure if I wasn’t prepared) drove me to discipline myself to train hard and eat well.

Over the 12-day trek to base camp, there were several times when I thought to myself, “I can’t do this!” With my legs screaming and lungs gasping for more air, I was able to remember the discipline. I knew from experience that I could push through and keep going. Ultimately, this led me to hit my goal.

The solution to self-rejection is to do hard things consistently. If we find our hearts stuck in an area we can look to our disciplines. Then, we can take action.

Discipline can also be interpreted as a rebuke. The verse that follows contains a critical key to overcoming self-rejection. It says, “But one who listens to a rebuke acquires understanding.”

Sometimes we need a cold glass of water in the face. I like to say, “Feedback is the breakfast of champions.” This could come from a friend. Or, it could simply come from a hard consequence of our self-rejection and lack of discipline.

While nobody enjoys these wake-up calls, these are a gift. This is where we acquire understanding.

If one who neglects discipline rejects himself, the opposite is also true. One who embraces discipline affirms himself.

The beauty of wisdom is that it integrates the heart with action. When we identify issues of the heart, we don’t just stare at our navel, we take action. Conversely, when we struggle to take action, we can look at the core issues of our hearts.

If you are feeling self-rejection, where do you need discipline? Where do you need to do hard things consistently?

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