143 - Pennywise vs. Hexxus vs. The Lord of Darkness vs. Long John Silver

Smash Fiction

Well, we asked our Patrons to vote on a list of matches that each involved four characters played by a single actor...and you voted for this one. The Tim Curry match. "Fists of Curry," some have called it. Personally, we prefer "Mad Tim: Curry Road." Mostly because of the "mad" part. This episode is rank lunacy, and you have only yourselves to blame. Don't look at us like that. You know what you did.

Of course, we did choose the specific characters, to be fair. We're the ones who decided this match should involve four extremely over-the-top Curry villains. We also decided to set the match in the context of the amazing Clue movie, also starring Tim Curry. Does the Lightning Round have something to do with Tim Curry too, you ask? Answer: yes, but only by accident. We'll explain when we get there. For now, the question is, can Pennywise the Dancing Clown from the 1990 miniseries It manage to discreetly murder all the characters from Clue using only their fears, and presumably some balloons? Will Hexxus from Ferngully poison their food and their air and clandestinely schlorp to victory? Will the Lord of Darkness from Legend get over his numerous crushes and remind everyone what they say about guys with big horns? Or will Long John Silver from Muppet Treasure Island use the power of reverse psychology to get away with the gold?

You might have brought this chaos down upon the world, but hey, we tried to make the best of it. And by "the best of it" we mean "several attempts at Tim Curry accents with varying degrees of success." Even Hub from Titan Up The Defense gave it a shot. YOU'RE WELCOME.