Understanding Jealousy, Compersion & Attachment in Relationships

I Love You, Too

Jealous much, Dear Listener? Fret not! In today’s conversation with Julie Barr, MFT, we explore jealousy: what it is, whether it’s healthy, and what to do about it in intimate relationships.

You may wonder, What is the true root of jealousy? Julie investigates whether jealousy is a fleeting feeling or an ingrained trait and how it differs from envy. We discuss whether jealousy is a natural, inevitable emotion or a trauma response. To round out our exploration of jealousy’s causes, we explore its link to attachment styles, particularly anxious attachment.

Next, Julie shares practical tips for addressing jealousy in romantic relationships, whether you’re in a monogamous or non-monogamous partnership. We delve into compersion, a concept from ethical non-monogamy that can benefit people of all relationship structures. Along the way, we take some fun tangents into boundaries vs. control (hello, Jonah Hill!), how metamours are like axe throwing, and what to do if your partner wants to spend time with an ex.

Our guest, Julie Barr, MFT, is a skilled therapist, dating coach, and couples counselor with over 30+ years of experience. She specializes in working with queer, kinky, and non-monogamous individuals, couples, and polycules. Learn more about Julie and schedule a free consultation at relationshipcenter.com/about-julie-barr.

Key Takeaways

00:00 - Intro

02:34 - What is jealousy?

20:23 - Can jealousy be healthy in a relationship?

39:20 - What is compersion?

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