Intentionally creating a more positive relationship.

Marriage Rules with Beth Wylie

I am a pretty big Sublime fan, so I often think of PMA - positive mental attitude when I think about bids to connect, emotional bank account, deposits and the positive perspective. The PMA idea is that if you think positive thoughts and keep your thoughts in a more positive direction, then overall your life will be positive. Not because you life got better, but because you thought about it more positively, you life felt more positive. When we focus on the good in our life, we are more often in gratitude. That is where I want you to focus. Think positively about your partner and see what start s to flow. Where energy goes, neural firings flow (meaning we can make new connections in our brain, but we have to take a lead role in doing so).
Man we do this so easily when we first date someone. We minimize their flaws and the red flags and maximize the event where he one time bought you a rose at dinner when the girl with the basket of roses walked by. After we begin to get serious and more committed we do the opposite, minimize the good and use the bad as a nightly highlight reel for one another.
Research on meditation and the brain has told us that 80% of our thoughts are negative and most of them are repeats from the day before. We get stuck in a loop. Sometimes we then need to justify this behavior and negative feelings so we look for more reasons that our partner has ruined our life and we are sure to let them know about it.
How do we then make the shift? Intentional positive thinking, as well as, scanning your environment for what is going right and then pointing it out. Begin by making a daily habit of writing out things about your partner that you respect, admire and love and you can also list out appreciations that you have. Then try to point out positives as they happen.
Aloha!
To take my online course for couples, click here https://mailchi.mp/bethwylietherapy.com/loveoverlogistics