Ep. 53 Officer Mike, seven years on, juggling the job and a young family

On Being a Police Officer

Ep. 53 Officer Mike from a mid-sized agency in the Mid-Atlantic has been in law enforcement for seven years. He wrote to me saying, “I want to discuss the mental health aspect of the job and juggling it with family life. I've been married for about five years. We have two daughters who are four and almost two. I've gone through times when I see things at work that hit me in a way that I can't keep bottled up. Calls with children are what hit home the most. I tend to be pretty open with my family about what I experience, which helps a lot.”

Mike’s goal in coming on the podcast is to share these challenges so that other officers know they are not alone in experiencing the stress of the job and the impact on family. He wants to encourage all LEOs to have someone they can talk to and not be afraid to ask for help.

Our conversation includes what it’s like coming home with adrenaline coursing through your veins; wanting to talk about some things and not others; wanting to be present for your family, but not always being able to; and the challenge of shift schedules that leave little time for family – or sleep.

We revisit hitting the streets after field training, those first calls where he felt a level of uncertainty. We talk about the critical incidents that “shook” him and how even the “smaller” incidents come back to haunt him. He says there were times early on when he wished someone would have asked how he was doing after a call – not just minutes after, but days or weeks later. He also says he unaware of the Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM ) team in his area, a team he has since joined to help other officers following a critical incident.

Recently, I’ve interviewed officers who are newly retired reflecting back on this very part of their lives and career. I thought it was important to talk to someone who's relatively new on the job and working patrol. The message from all is the same: don’t be reluctant to speak up. Whether you’re two years on or 22, you’ll relate to Mike’s experiences on and off the job.

Thanks for being on the show, Mike!

In the episode, I mention The LT’s Daughter Katherine Boyle and the programs she is creating for officers looking to connect or reconnect with family. You can learn more in the interview I did with her in episode 46 and through this link on her programs.

Event List Sign Up:

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/647f698cdfd04634e9976771

Katherine’s IG:

https://www.instagram.com/theltsdaughter/

I also mention NYPD Cold Case Detective Jason Palamara (Ret.) from Ep. 50. He works as a crisis counselor, keynote speaker and life coach. He recently published a book with coauthor Barbara Rubel available on Amazon called “Living Blue: Helping Law Enforcement Officers and Their Families Survive and Thrive from Recruitment to Retirement.” You can find him on his website https://jasonpalamara.org/ and on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram.

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