Episode : Queers, Intimacy and Movies

Ken Scott Baron

Ken Scott Baron Podcast"
Many years ago, I remember the movie "The Breakfast Club" and the antics of the teens as they shown their coming out stories. The characters rebelled against authority, as many of you have done. Though they did this they ultimately decided they need to get ready for adulthood.

The queer teen has seen a resurgence of movies, and the recent one, "Love Simon" shows homosexuality as no big deal for well off folks in affluent areas. But that is not as simple in less tolerant communities as depicted in "Boy Erased". And the same goes for "Moonlight" and "Call me by your Name". Queer teens now seem to face a future that is uncertain, sexually and financially. This drift into adulthood may be different and , perhaps frightening.

This gay teen apprehension is such that they may wish to keep gayness a secret during high school. But with the notions and actions and portrayal of gays, it is easier to be "outed" way before the choice is made in doing so.

Then there are the conversion therapy movies that harness the US puritanical and religious bent to suppress and dam the victims. In "Boy Erased" the hero has a religious family and he suppresses his sexuality. He is outed and reminds us that coming out is a change which brings out concepts of erasing homosexuality before it gets worse, and can lead to hack therapies that do not work, or harm the "patient".

And yet, after graduation, these incidents can follow us. Thus beatings and bullying at school and in the communities goes on and there are few tender moments as in "Moonlight".

So, gay teens may or may not morph into a new sexual self and may leave scars. These movies paint a veneer of gloss on teen life to make them acceptable to a wider audience. We are not in a harsh and true spotlight yet!

And then there are the current, real concerns about these young people that are launching their sex lives later, having sex less frequently than previous generations. I have blogged on this issue of intimacy previously. So what does this mean for us?

Consider this: "We hook up because we have no social skills. We have no social skills because we hook up". A great concept considering the availability of dating apps and sex in the movies. But teens are having less sex! The CDC says high school rate of sex dropped from 54 to 40% from 1991 to 2017. Teen pregnancy has also dropped.

As a baby boomer, apparently, I had more sex than teens today, That's amazing. Then I read that more young people are living with their parents, and that people living with a romantic partner have more sex. This adds to the puzzle of why less sex.

Is it this "sex recession" because of electronic devices, economic anxiety, low testosterone or sexual identity getting stronger. As a gay man, I have witnessed the huge change in what is sanctioned on not, much of it to the good, but does this suggest that gay men don't need to reinforce their "right" to sex?

Interestingly, declines in intercourse frequency, seem to occur with rising rates of masturbation. This "sex for one" is a trend. Japan seems to be a harbinger of this in as much there is as a generation that found the imperfect or just unexpected demands of real-world relationships with women less enticing than the lure of the virtual libido online. Japan is among the world’s top producers and consumers of porn.

Many younger people see porn as just one more online activity, relieving stress. It is related to their sex life (or lack thereof) in much the same way social media and binge-watching TV are.

Meanwhile, A survey of more than 20,000 college students that was conducted from 2005 to 2011, which found the median number of hookups over a four-year college career to be five—a third of which involved only kissing and touching. The majority of students surveyed said they wished they had more opportunities to find a long-term boyfriend or girlfriend.