230. Your Thoughts Can Destroy Your Stepfamily

Enjoying Your Blended Family

I found some old videos from a challenge I did with a group of ladies in 2020 about taking our thoughts captive. This concept changed my life. The information is so valuable, that I wanted to share it with you. It’s set up as a 5-day challenge so feel free to listen to it day-by-day or all at once. The key is putting these things to use.

Day 1: Take Your Thoughts Captive Challenge

Let's get started with Day 1. Some of these things may take you out of your comfort zone or seem insignificant, trust me, do them anyway. If you are ready for a change, it's time to do something different. If you missed last night's email, go back and read it and watch that video before this one. It lays the groundwork for today. If it takes you longer to complete, take your time and work at your own pace.

1. Find 10-20 minutes to brain dump.

2. Spend 20-30 minutes quietly listening to God's direction.

3. Journal any thoughts from your quiet time.

Day 2: Learn to sit and listen.

1. Find a place in your house that is quiet and where you will have privacy.

2. Sit and listen to the meditation video. Do your very best to follow the breaths and clear your mind. But if you find your mind wandering, mentally take note of what your thoughts are focusing on.

3. Journal your experience, good and bad. Things you noticed.

4. Pay attention to what you listen to today and how much time you spend filling your head with this stuff (Music, TV, Social media, other people) Write it down when you can.

Day 3: Discover your weaknesses. Own your mistakes. Recognize Triggers.

1. Write down areas of your life you feel like a failure.

2. Ask God to show you where you have made mistakes so that you can take ownership of them. Ask God to show you why you feel this way and what triggers you.

3. I want to introduce you to my favorite meditation podcast, it combines meditation, scripture, and prayer. You can find it on your podcast app under Cultivate Connections or use this link,

4. Take a mental note of anything that comes to mind.

5. Journal your experience, good and bad. Did God reveal anything to you?

Have you noticed what your triggers are?

6. Look at your list and ask yourself why you think you feel like a failure in these areas. This won't be solved in a day, but keep asking.

Day 4: Find truth. Stop taking yourself so seriously. Have Fun!

1. Write down areas in which you feel like you have succeeded.

2. Find a quiet place in your house where you will have privacy. Do the first 14ish minutes of "Recognize" Yoga with Adriene. Then pause and be quiet. (If you prefer Cultivate Connection, do that)

3. Journal your experience. Did God reveal anything new today?

4. Take at least 15 minutes to replace some of the negative thoughts you have with truth from scripture. Place these truths where you can see them.

5. Today might seem like a silly exercise, but I think it is very important. Find time to have fun today. Make time to laugh with your family. Do something silly with them. Turn on music and dance around the house. Go outside and play tag or hide-n-seek.

6. When you make a mistake today, laugh at yourself, and move on.

Day 5: Recognize that this is not an emergency. Take it to God.

Discover your "Go-To" activity.

1. Continue the meditation practice, either the yoga video or Cultivate Connection meditation.

2. Journal your experience.

3. Practice gratitude. Name 1 thing from the day before that brought you joy. Write it down or say it out loud.

4. Learn to ask yourself "Is this an emergency?" Even when it feels like it is, it usually isn't. We can't practice this until a situation arises. Watch today's video so I can explain it better.

5. Today we find a new positive activity that you can turn to instead of reacting the same way you always have. You should have filled out your favorite activity in the survey before we started. How can you turn that into your new coping skill?

Take Your Thoughts Captive Recap

I know 5 days doesn't seem long enough to break a cycle you've been trapped in for a long time, but with God anything is possible. For me, it took a whole Summer to break this down. If during this process you find some issues go deeper than what you can handle on your own, I recommend finding a licensed therapist. There is no shame in talking to a professional and allowing their unbiased opinion to guide you in helping you heal.

Thank you for sticking with me over the last 5 Days. Check out this recap and let me know if this Take Your Thoughts Captive Challenge benefited you in any way by emailing me and letting me know. Love you! Scarlett Tandy

EPISODE RESOURCES:

If you're tired of waiting for your "STEP" family to "BLEND" try this... STEPFAMILY JUMPSTART: WAYS TO CONNECT INSTANTLY https://bfam.enjoyingyourblendedfamily.com/opt-in

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HOW TO ENJOY YOUR BLENDED FAMILY: 5 Dates To Discover Fun In Your Step-Family, by the end of these 5 dates you will have a great plan and see more fun in your home, helping build stronger family connections and relationships, all while having more laughs and enjoyment as you make lasting memories together.

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