9: Facing the What Ifs, Helping Kids Build Tolerance for Uncertainty

Do Less Parenting

Facing the What Ifs, Helping Kids Build Tolerance for Uncertainty

Robyn explains how to respond when kids get stuck in “what if” questions and shows parents how to build resilience instead of feeding worry.

In this episode, therapist and mom Robyn Isman talks about one of the most common ways anxiety shows up in children—the endless cycle of “what if” questions. She explains why answering every question with reassurance may calm things in the moment but ultimately gives anxiety more power. Instead of helping kids feel secure, it often keeps them dependent on parents for certainty.

Robyn shares clear examples of how “what if” thinking takes hold and how parents can shift their responses. She offers practical language that validates feelings while gently redirecting kids back to problem-solving and coping skills. She also highlights the importance of helping children learn that uncertainty is safe and something they can handle.

By the end of this episode, you will feel more confident responding to your child’s “what ifs” without getting stuck in the reassurance loop. You will understand how to guide your child toward resilience and independence by teaching them to face uncertainty with support instead of avoidance.

Shared Resources:

• Follow Robyn on Instagram @parentingtheanxiouschild
• Parenting the Anxious Child Membership
• Sign up for Robyn’s Newsletter and find additional resources