Practice Makes Perfect, Right? (Replay of 3-12-23)

Conversations with Cinthia

Practice makes perfect, right? Well, that depends on what we are practicing. Habits are powerful, and repetition makes them stronger. This can be a huge advantage when we form and reinforce positive habits; it means we automatically do positive things without the decision fatigue that can come with making so many conscious decisions. Habits are useful and efficient because they allow us to engage in our day-to-day lives without consciously engaging in a conscious decision-making process for every move we make. Without them, it would be difficult to get through the day. But this process can backfire when we form and reinforce negative habits because they become part of our automatic approach to life; they become natural to us. Our bad habits are powerful and hard to change.

Humans develop habits of the heart, habits of the mind, and habits of the body. Each can be positive or negative, and some can start as positive but become negative as they reach extremes or take on roles they were not meant to play. Habits of the heart can include patience or impatience, forgiveness or unforgiveness, acceptance or obstinacy, kindness, cruelty, indifference, truthfulness, lying, and so many others. Habits of the mind can include taking every thought captive (II Corinthians 10:5), policing your own thoughts, self-hatred/self-criticism, judgments of others, lying, and more. Habits of the body can include reaching for a seatbelt or a cigarette, eating habits, use and misuse of alcohol, nicotine, or other drugs, engaging or not engaging in healthy behaviors like exercise or taking appropriate medications, and physical violence. Each of these can be positive or negative, and our brains engage with each of these by forming neural nets that become triggered by context and lead us more easily into enacting that habit. This means that each time we engage in one of these habits, we reinforce it for the next time.

Regarding thought habits, Cinthia cited Proverbs 23:7, which states, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.” She also recommended a book written by James Allen in 1903 called Dealing with the Power of Thought. We become what we think. What do you think within yourself? Into what is it making you? God’s thoughts are higher than ours.

Habits can be changed, broken, and built, but doing so requires real commitment. Starting is often the hardest part. So first, consider your “why:” Why do you want to change this? Intense change requires powerful motivation. Incentives and rewards can help reinforce new habits, but engagement in the idea in the first place makes things much easier. Next, consider the context and dynamics of the habit you want to change. Put yourself in situations that make it easier to repeat the new habit and resist the old one. Use your body to get where you need to be. (For example, if you want to go to the gym but also do not want to go, just stand up. Standing is not the same as going, and you can still not go once you stand up. Then walk toward the door. You still don’t have to go; just walk toward the door. Perform one part of the process at a time without committing to the next step yet.) As you progress in your habit formation, find a way to give yourself small rewards such as praise from an accountability partner. Remove the barriers to success, and get some distance when you need it. (For example, if you need to get away from the refrigerator, walk around the block, etc.) Remind yourself that following the new path will get easier. (Often new habits gain more power after about twenty-one days of consistent repetition.) Be sure not to shame yourself; remember, your brain thinks it is helping you by trying to direct you toward old habits. There are costs to new behaviors, such as paying more for vegetables than for unhealthy foods, so find ways to adjust to the costs. Surround yourself with encouraging messages. Speak a Bible verse into your phone and play it for yourself throughout the day. And share the gift: help your children form good habits, positive routines, and healthy self-talk.