“Giving Lessons” Book Review

Beyond a Bedtime Story

Hopewell Valley Student Podcasting Network

Show Name: Beyond a Bedtime Story

Episode Title: “Giving Lessons” Book Review

Episode #5

You are listening to Beyond a Bedtime Story the podcast with your host Emily.

In this episode of Beyond a Bedtime Story the Podcast I will provide follow-up reading prompts for “The Giving Tree”.

Segment 1: The Value of Sad Stories

Hi, Welcome back! I’m your host Emily, and you’re listening to Beyond a Bedtime Story: A Parent’s Guide to Children’s Reading! In this episode we will be tackling a book that carries emotional weight, and it’s one that you’re almost certainly familiar with and one that I read as a child. And while I remembered my love for it, when I reread the book I was reminded of, and rather shocked at its candid melancholy. The book is “The Giving Tree” by Shel Silverstein and, in case you are unfamiliar, it follows the friendship of a tree and a boy, but as the boy grows older, he becomes absent and only visits the tree to request things from her, such as apples and branches, until, by the end, the tree is reduced to a stump on which the boy finally sits.

• Article: The Third Mr. Silverstein (Richard R. Lingeman; April 30, 1978)
• “Happy endings, magic solutions in children's books, he says; “create an alienation” in the child who reads them. “The child asks why don't I have this happiness thing you're telling me about, and comes to think when his joy stops that he has failed, that it won't come back.” By the same token, creating mythic heroes “20 feet tall” places an impossible burden on the child, who feels he can never live up to the image.”

Tangent: my childhood & never liking happy endings

• relate to it being ok for your child to face sadness (I was obsessed with watching the news as a child and was drawn to sad stories because I liked facing my feelings)
• But not all children do (joke about "friend" who wasn't allowed to watch the news as a child because it made him too sad)
• Obviously very different, each child has a different level of tolerance for facing emotional stories, and as a parent you know best what they can handle, but everyone can benefit from being exposed to the not-so-perfect realities of life and can be taught how to deal with sad situations
• this text provides a healthy amount of sadness to address, at least Silverstein would think so, and I happen to agree (when you use the right prompts and lessons to teach your child)
• Article: We Need to Talk About ‘The Giving Tree’ (By Adam Grant & Allison Sweet Grant; April 15, 2020)
• “It’s not really about generosity. It’s a book about self-sacrifice — and those are two very different things.”
• “To some readers, the tree’s act of sacrifice seems noble, like the unconditional love a parent gives to a child. But if you assume the story is about generosity, it’s easy to learn the wrong lessons: that it’s O.K. for a child to take selfishly, and that adults should give until it hurts — and keep giving until they literally have nothing left to offer. That’s a recipe for trouble.
• Goes on to describe the unhealthy consequences of self-sacrifice and clarifies that gratitude means helping others without harming yourself in the process
• “prioritizing your needs along with theirs”
• I found this article after I had done my analysis of the book, yet my thematic follow-up prompts align with the article’s sentiment that “this book should be used as a starting point for conversations about healthy behavior and healthy relationships.”
• However, this article argues that this book teaches selfish behavior and would be more beneficial with a different ending. And, while I can understand that sentiment, Silverstein himself purposefully writes realistic—albeit sad—endings. He never agreed with happy ones. By presenting the destruction of the tree, Silverstein does exemplify the danger of a one-sided relationship. But, by doing so, children can recognize the sadness that accompanies the story’s outcome. Thus, when prompted by parents, children can learn from the mistakes made in the book. Which becomes a more valuable lesson of what unhealthy relationships might look like, and how children can be better than that. Silverstein presents a daunting picture of an actual problem children might face in their lives, and with the correct conversations, parents can ensure that they take away a valuable lesson from it. And that is much more effective than any forced happy ending.

So that’s it for our first segment. After the short break, I’ll reveal specific ways to prompt your child after reading The Giving Tree, so now would be a good time to grab the book if you have it.

Segment 2: Reading Strategies

Alright, I’m back and ready to dive into these reading strategies! If you have the book, definitely feel free to follow along as I refer to specific page numbers, I had to number my own copy so yours might not include page numbers, but my references should give you a general idea of where I am in the text.

• You, as a parent, are “giving” your child lessons, that is one of the many gifts you offer them, and reading offers a great opportunity to do so
• Especially appropriate to discuss giving and receiving during the holiday season
• Analyzed the book before Thanksgiving, but this episode will be posted afterwards, so my mind was on the importance of gratitude
• For the months of December in general, when the focus becomes Christmas or Hannakauh, or whatever you may celebrate, gift-giving is usually a prominent topic
• Remaining grateful for receiving said gifts is an important reminder and practice for children
• Recommendation: Last Stop on Market Street by Matt de la Peña
• Embodies true giving through volunteering and humility

Music Credits:

• Lawrence by TrackTribe
• Palace of Roses by Aakash Gandhi
• The Urban Groove by Hanu

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