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Helping high achieving Christian men have more intimate marriages. Start with episodes 1-4 for an introduction. Traditional marriage counseling, couples therapy, couples counseling and even Christian marriage counseling will tell you that a good marriage is based on compromise. Validating feelings. Sacrifice. I tried that for years. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work. That’s why most couples who go through marriage counseling are the same or worse off after. BUT, in my studies in neuroscience at ...
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The STRONG Men podcast was created to empower men to thrive in their health, wealth, purpose, and personal performance. Join Men’s Health and Brain Performance Coach, Anthony Treas, an Iraq War veteran, who is on a mission to radically improve men's health and mental well-being. Upon his return home from his deployment, Anthony struggled with PTSD, anxiety, and depression. He developed the S.T.R.O.N.G. Method, which he used to improve and thrive in his personal life, health, and mental perfo ...
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Last week we talked about increasing your self-worth. Your self-worth is your inherent value, which doesn’t ever change and is great and infinite as a son of God. Your self-esteem is your relationship with yourself. In other words, your thoughts and feelings about yourself. Most high achieving guys have the mindset of “I can do better.” This is a m…
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I used to believe that I had to work to be worthy. That my self-worth was determined by what I accomplished. And, I still fall into that trap sometimes. But it is a trap. Because no matter how much you accomplish… You can always accomplish more. Instead of this trap, try the 3 simple steps in today’s episode. *See yourself as a beloved son of God…
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For most of my life, I’ve felt like I need to achieve to be valuable. I haven’t really felt like I could ever rest. I was either “growing or dying.” The last few weeks have shown me that this isn’t really what God intends or wants for me… or for you. Instead, we can find rest in knowing we are Sons Of The King. That we are loved, accepted and forgi…
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Today we get to meet Emmanual and Bekah Guarino, founders of Team Vulnerable. You’ll hear their story of how Emmanuel: -Struggled with pornography for YEARS -Eventually shared his struggle with Bekah -Found a way to work as a team to help Emmanuel overcome pornography… to the point that he doesn’t really feel tempted at all to view it Watch on YouT…
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Last week we learned about the problematic attachment styles in marriage. Today we’ll learn what we need to do to earn the secure attachment that we want in marriage. Secure attachment looks like: -A good balance between “me” and “we” -Feeling confident that your needs will be met -Expressing your thoughts and feelings and listening to your wife’s …
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You may have heard of the different attachment styles. Avoidant. Anxious/Ambivalent. Disorganized. And secure. Many high achieving men were brought up in avoidant, anxious/ambivalent or even disorganized homes. They learned the lesson that they need to figure things out on their own… and they did. That helped them be very successful in business and…
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Every marriage has conflict. In some marriages it’s very emotional and volatile, with screaming matches. In others, it’s buried under the surface with one or both spouses silently resenting the other. In others, one spouse wants to talk things out, while the other wants to avoid the conversation. Whatever your pattern is, there’s a reason for it. A…
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Recently I got my testosterone checked. I found that my total testosterone was normal, but my free testosterone was low. This got me started on a path to try to figure out how to increase both free and total testosterone NATURALLY. Because testosterone replacement therapy SHUTS DOWN your body’s natural production. Jason has a long history of helpin…
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When your wife takes off her wedding ring… It can signal a BIG alarm. Most men will either try to ignore this (while silently fearing what it might mean)… Become passive aggressive to “pay her back” for not wearing her ring… Or confront her in an angry way. Fortunately, there’s a better response that can lead to MORE intimacy and connection. Learn …
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There are scientifically proven ways to let our emotions flow in healthy ways. Those are: -Breathe -Name -Feel -Deal Learn more about these… with a specific example… in today’s episode. Watch on YouTube here. Dr. Mike P.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create incredible sexual, mental and emotio…
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I used to be afraid of emotions. And really, I still am a little. From what I saw, when people got overly angry, they broke things or hurt people. If they got overly sad, they got depressed or even suicidal. If they got anxious, they froze and didn’t accomplish anything. I certainly didn’t want to do this, and so I took the approach of trying to “t…
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Here are 3 questions to ask if your wife is talking about a subject you’re not that interested in: -How did you feel about that? -What did you think about that? -Why do you like that/why is that important to you? Try to understand her thoughts and feelings, as that’s what real mental and emotional intimacy is. Try them out today! Watch on YouTube h…
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When your wife starts talking about… -TV shows -Social media -A problem with her friend It can be easy to check out. You think “I don’t really care about this.” And so, you either PRETEND that you’re interested… Let your mind wander… Or don’t listen at all. But, you can actually use this as an opportunity to create MORE connection and intimacy. Lea…
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The day after Valentine’s can be pretty disappointing. But, at the end of the day, we get to choose how we live. And, according to Jesus, the best way to live is to love God, love our neighbors, and love ourselves. So, choose to love well today. Love God by thanking Him. Feel God’s love by remembering what He’s done for you. Love your wife by doing…
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I don’t often laugh at my own titles, but I have to say, this one was pretty good. Valentine’s Day is tomorrow. It’s a day that we celebrate romantic love. Depending on where your marriage is… That idea may be quite depressing. BUT, you can STILL make Valentine’s Day great. By taking the EMPOWERING stance of choosing to love well. Learn how to do t…
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When your wife is saying she might want to leave… It’s easy to try to scare her or guilt her into staying. Unfortunately, people don’t really like to be around people who scare or guilt trip them. So, stop doing that! Learn more about how to do that in today’s episode. Listen on the Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast. Watch on YouTube here. (Loren…
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If your wife is talking about separation or divorce… You want to make it hard on her to divorce you. Some guys think that means telling your wife all the negative things that will happen if she divorces you. Telling her it will hurt the kids, hurt you, hurt her financially. Telling her God doesn’t want her to do this. Unfortunately, this only makes…
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Take a minute and answer that. What do you think God thinks about you? Your answer to this question can either lead you to feeling not good enough… Or empower you with incredible self worth. Learn how to let it empower you in today’s episode. Watch on YouTube here. Dr. Mike P.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man wh…
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As a high achieving Christian man, there are a lot of people you might be trying to please. Your wife, your kids, your clients, your church members, your community… and God. That’s a lot of people, with a lot of different opinions. It just won’t be possible to make all of them happy. So, should you just “make yourself happy” and say “screw you” to …
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Believe it or not, there’s a great app that will help you build your emotional vocabulary, intelligence and strength. That, in turn, will allow you to have more empathy for your wife. When you know what you’re feeling, it will be a lot easier to relate to what your wife is feeling. You’ll be able to share your emotions (be known), and understand yo…
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Maybe your wife has told you that you don’t have much empathy. As a high achieving man, that’s likely true. We have often learned to shut down our emotions in order to “get things done.” While this helps in business, it creates major issues in our marriage. Learn how to stop telling people to “get over it…” And start practicing the empathy that lea…
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You may have tried a lot of things to stop using pornography. Here are the steps that have helped the men I’ve worked with (who have often tried many of the “traditional” programs): -Integrate your sexuality -Learn to manage your thoughts and emotions when you have the urge to view pornography -Reward yourself for having urges and not acting on the…
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I’d say 100% of the men I work with either have struggled or currently struggle with pornography. This definitely breaks your wife’s trust in you… But also breaks your trust in yourself. That leads to low safety in the marriage, which leads to superficial communication and low sexual intimacy. Learn how to restore trust after pornography use in tod…
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If you’re struggling to have meaningful communication in your marriage… A list of “what to say” just isn’t going to cut it. There’s a deeper reason why your communication has dried up. Until you address that, your wife won’t WANT to communicate with you. Learn how to fix the deeper issues that have created communication issues in your marriage… So …
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The Best Love Language For Your Marriage We all need to feel loved, valued and accepted. The best favor you can do to yourself… and your family… Is to love, value and accept yourself. Learn the tip I’m using now to do that in today’s episode. Watch on YouTube here. Dr. Mike P.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man wh…
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The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a best selling marriage book. And, it has great concepts that can help you and your wife understand each other better. BUT, used the wrong way, the 5 Love Languages can actually make things WORSE in your marriage. If you’ve been trying to give your wife: -Words of affirmation -Physical touch -Acts of service …
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On today’s episode we’ll cover: -How to navigate an in-home separation -How to evaluate whether your behaviors are manipulative or not -What to do if your wife has filed for divorce Watch on YouTube here. Dr. Mike P.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create incredible sexual, mental and emotional …
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Want sex with HER, not just sex. Don’t approach it with “I’m horny and she’s my only moral option.” That’s not attractive to anyone. Cold, warm, hot. Use flirting and touch to bring her into a zone of thinking more about sex. Integrate your full brain. Use your physical desire, your emotional admiration for her, and your choosing her as your life p…
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Sexual Strength In Marriage Sex is what makes a marriage relationship special. But, what we thought our sexual relationship might look like before marriage… And what it looks like once we’re married… Can be very different. Learn how to build your sexual strength so that you can… -Avoid turning to pornography or other negative outlets for sex -Appro…
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What is the most important physical thing you can do to be more attractive to your wife? According to 500 Christian wives, it’s just this. Look good, smell good. Get more details on this on today’s episode. Listen on the Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast. Watch on YouTube here. Dr. Mike P.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful C…
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Strength across all areas is attractive to your wife. As men, we often overly focus on physical and financial strength as the measure of success. And, while women do value physical strength… It’s not quite in the way you might think. Same with financial strength. More money doesn’t necessarily mean more attraction. Learn how to build these strength…
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I never liked the word “need” in relationships. In fact, I’ve often taught that “neediness is unattractive.” However, I’ve come to believe a little differently. It’s true that for our internal needs, such as feeling good enough, we can’t rely on our wife. We need to find other resources for that. Because if we do rely on our wife for these internal…
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I used to think of emotional strength as never being overwhelmed by emotion. I didn’t want to be “too emotional.” I thought that was weakness. I wanted to be ruled my reason, not my emotions. However, being unable to really feel emotion is actually emotional weakness. Or numbness. Or deadness. It keeps you from really experiencing life. It also kee…
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Sign 1 - You blame your wife for how you’re feeling Sign 2 - You mix up facts and your interpretation of those facts Sign 3 - You are overly influenced by the thinking of others… or overly rigid in your thinking All of these lead to you being mentally and emotionally unstable and reactive… Which doesn’t feel good and isn’t attractive. Listen on the…
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How To Build Mental Strength In Marriage “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he” Proverbs 23:7 God has given us amazing brains that have incredible power. What we think affects how we feel, what we do, and the results we get in our lives. Most of us are not aware of this power, or how our thoughts are influencing the results in our lives and mar…
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When you have real spiritual strength… Neediness disappears. When you feel great self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, and a sense of mission and purpose… You step out of needy, codependent behavior and into strong leadership. Get a reminder on how to build these in today’s episode. Listen on the Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast. Watch on Yo…
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For the next few weeks we’re going to be talking about how to build different strengths in marriage. To me, spiritual strength is: -Strong self-worth based in God -Strong self-esteem (the way you think about and talk to yourself… especially when you make mistakes) -A sense of mission and purpose -Being a man of integrity When you can do these three…
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Tip 1 - List Your Commitments List out what you’ve promised to do for yourself, your wife, your kids, your community, your church, your work and any other commitments. Tip 2 - Drop Most Of Them Drop most of these commitments. Let people know you won’t be keeping them, and apologize to yourself and others for not keeping them. Tip 3 - Choose 1-3 And…
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I often hear from the men I work with that their wife never apologizes… while he apologizes all the time. Learn why this happens… And what to do about it… In today’s episode. Listen on the Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast. Watch on YouTube here. Dr. Mike P.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to cre…
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Tip 1 - Stop trying to control what you can’t control. Like what your wife does or how she feels. The fastest way to feel disempowered is to try to control something that is impossible to control. Tip 2 - Ask for what you want You will feel more empowered when you start getting what you want. But you can’t get what you want if you don’t ask for it.…
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Many men will tell me that they feel emasculated in their marriage. One literal definition of this is to have your testicles removed. While this (hopefully) is not the reality, these men FEEL one main thing… POWERLESS. Whether it’s with money, sex, in-laws, parenting, religion, housework or time… These men feel like they are constantly losing while…
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Men try to get their wife’s respect in 3 ways. Only 1 of them works. Learn what it is in today’s short episode. Dr. Mike P.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create incredible sexual, mental and emotional intimacy with your wife, and create an amazing legacy for your family to follow… starting TOD…
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If you’ve looked at dating advice to try to help your marriage, you’ve probably found some advice about being a “tough guy.” This is what I call fake strength. It CAN work to create a girlfriend/wife who is dependent on you and your approval… But it CAN NOT work if you want a truly intimate marriage… The kind that lives true to Christian values and…
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How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie is one of the most popular books on human relationships. Learn the biggest 3 principles… And how to apply them to your marriage… In today’s episode. Dr. Mike P.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create incredible sexual, mental and emotional…
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