Love Addiction 공개
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Gary McFarlane helps you understand Sex, Porn & Love Addiction. This podcast dives into the neuroscience behind these issues, guiding you on the path to recovery. For more resources, visit: www.kairos-centre.com. Helping you better understand the neuroscience of the brain and sharing what we now better understand about the brain's involvement, from childhood development. To help you effect change; find the real authentic you (whose truth self went off at a tangent in childhood); so that as y ...
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Sex, Love, and Addiction

Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW

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On Sex, Love, and Addiction, Dr. Rob Weiss, sex therapist and author of a dozen books on sex and relationship healing, interviews global experts like Dr’s. Sue Johnson, Harville Hendrix, Dr. Stan Tatkin, and Helen Fisher, Dr. Kenneth Adams among others. This podcast features robust discussions focused on healing from chronic infidelity, cheating, porn, and sex addiction, along with the pain of relationship betrayal. Dr. Rob is Chief Clinical Officer for Seeking integrity Treatment Centers. H ...
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Love Over Addiction

Michelle Anderson

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Join host Michelle Anderson as she discusses life while loving someone struggling with addiction. The goal of each episode is to leave you with encouragement, hope, and some laughs while you navigate the heartbreaking and rewarding relationship of loving someone with substance use disorder. If you're exhausted from trying to help, lonely, and unsure what to do next - you've come to the right place.
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Split agendas and contrary motives - that are hidden from each other. Is that you? Jake & Jasmine on the seesaw of life, illustrates it. There are appearances, but below the surface of the relationship may be there is entrenched Emotional Disengagement. Couple…
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Dr. Rob and authors Lindsey Stanley and Dr. Stevie Hall continue their conversation about therapeutic separation, focusing on the impact that separation can have on children at different ages and stages. They explore ways to prove safety and stability for children throughout the process, navigating family events during separation, and why couples t…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Let's continue our look at 'Repairing the damaged couples relationship, post Sex Addiction'. Does that image of the mules describe your relationship? of course not you, but your partner! Each trying to get their needs met. Those Core Emotional Needs. Remember …
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Dr. Rob and authors Lindsey Stanley and Dr. Stevie Hall define and discuss therapeutic separation, an intentional process crafted to help bring about safety, stability, and individual and relational insight. They consider the different types of therapeutic separation, the benefits of each approach, and how separation can be the greatest gift that a…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Building new foundations for the couple: Take a look at the Different Relationship Images document attached to this Podcast. I try to bypass language as much as possible. Feelings do not always tell the truth. We can be very English. Very British! Question: "H…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Couples counselling is not necessarily about keeping a couple together at all. All about exploring options. Also to help you both gain insight and understanding about self and how you do life, as an individual. Whether a Partnership or a marriage, these things…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Shaped by circumstances from birth Picture the new born baby which starts life with innocence and a brain with few impressions. It starts to experience life and living and soon the brain has some impressions and templates being carved out. Good and not so good…
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Dr. Rob and Marriage and Family Therapist and CSAT Arlene Rosen continue their discussion about discernment counseling. They consider how to determine what each person needs throughout the collaborative divorce process, how to protect children and pets throughout the journey, and realistic timelines when addiction is a factor in a relationship. Arl…
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Dr. Rob and Marriage and Family Therapist and CSAT Arlene Rosen explore the options available to couples who are on the fence about staying together or separating. They discuss discernment counseling, litigation, and collaborative divorce; and consider the benefits and difficulties associated with each route. Arlene is an advocate of restructuring …
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Highs and lows of the Couples relationship is a given. What impacts you, may not impact a partner and vice versa. Childhood development personality and characteristic sharping experiences, play a significant part in that process. Sex Addicts need to take their…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre We fall in love with 'Differenceness' and 'Sameness'. Over the years, we can become dissatisfied with the unconscious differences of a partner, that is now in the conscious. So we set about trying to change them to be more like us, since those visible and cons…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Early relationships (often with our parents) has a very powerful impact on the blueprint of partner choice. They are unconsciously looked at as being able to repair those childhood wounds. We often seek a blueprint that “fits” ours. When we meet a potential pa…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre At the beginning of the couples therapy session, I like to ask a first question - 'How did you guys meet?' Telling the story will reveal the greater truth about where the couple are at in the conflict. Has the loving got snuffed out or is there a glimmer of li…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Client, choose your Therapist carefully. It makes a big difference to outcomes. In 2024 the British Association for Counsellors and Psychotherapy (BACP) released an Ethical framework for working with Addictions and also a set of 'Addictions competence framewor…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre When there is conflict in the couples relationship, sex and intimacy becomes the first casualty which fly out the window. It is very difficult (sometimes feels impossible) to physically touch the person with whom you are in conflict. Yet, touch is exactly what…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Unresolved issues; unprocessed childhood issues, loose canons, unpotted snooker balls - are some of the terms that I use, for the process of work that I do multiple times every day with clients - using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing). Another …
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Have you heard the Joke about the bride who learned her script for what she had to remember on the wedding day - as: 1) Aisle 2) Altar 3) Hymn What has shaped you to be doing life how you are doing life? So often, it is about those childhood development years …
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Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty consider the role of a therapist as a witness – one that supports with empathy and compassion. They share the questions to ask a therapist before the first session, and how to identify the right trauma therapist that will lead you to recovery and healing. Healing is meant to happen in communities, and together Dr.…
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Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty explore witnesses – the people who have seen your experiences and are ready to help you move forward. When you begin questioning whether your experience was real, why you acted out the way you did, or what really happened, a witness can offer direction and healing as you move forward, without the demonization and …
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Over 90% of couples that The Kairos Centre counsel, are in conflict because Core Emotional Needs are not being met. Some of those Core Emotional Needs are such things as lack of Security, Respect, Comfort, Affection, Respect. They are not negotiable human need…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Testosterone in males is at its height in their late teens to early 20's. Women's sex drive does not reach its peak until their late 20's to early 30's. Therefore, a mismatch is going on between the sexes. Aged 15 to 25 years old males have a 4 times higher li…
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Adam Nisenson and Dr. Rob continue their conversation about betrayed men. They share the worst advice a betrayed man can hear, how to determine if reconciliation is the right next step, and the reality that being cheated on does not justify cheating. Adam shares resources, including The ManKind Project, that have helped him through his own healing …
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Men's brains are configured very differently when it comes to a response to sex. There are 3 areas to know about - which are over twice the capacity of the female: The Medial Pre-optic Area (MPOA): Is an area of the Hypothalamus that regulates various physiolo…
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Adam Nisenson, also known as The Betrayal Shrink, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist & Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. Together with Dr. Rob he highlights the need for betrayed men to have support and healing just as much as women do. He shares his own healing journey, the support that he offers men who have been betrayed, and why he be…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Alcohol consumption raises women's testosterone levels. Same for men, but with excess, men's levels start to decrease. Not so for women. Women are not use to the effects of such higher levels of testosterone and so a young woman can become a very different sex…
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Erin Snow is the Clinical Director at Seeking Integrity, CSAT, and a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She and Dr. Rob discuss a week-by-week overview of residential treatment, the key points of trauma work and treatment, and the hope that she regularly sees as addicts encounter consequences, confront early trauma, and what it really takes to…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre In all your getting, get understanding: Men see female promiscuity as a deal breaker. If a man finds that a woman is not sexually active, he will intuitively feel that she is more likely to be faithful. Sexual integrity and sexual loyalty, is the most valued t…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre The younger the age that a female experiences sexual arousal, the higher the socio-sexual index she is going to have. (Socio-sexual index is the amount of casual/'promiscuity' sex that a person has). The higher the promiscuity at a younger age, the more open t…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Gen A and their siblings, listen up. Hear this bit of neurobiology. At puberty, males Androgen levels explode at puberty and between aged 13 to 15. It is 10 to 30 times higher at puberty, than pre-puberty. In females, Androgen levels (such as Testosterone - an…
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Dr. Rob and Dr. Erika Schwartz continue their discussion about the connection between intimacy and sex. She highlights the role of hormones in sex addiction and betrayal, addresses the myths of monogamy, and counters the dangerous statement that too many betraying partners tell themselves, because what you don’t know actually will hurt you, will hu…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre In this episode, the audio takes you through matters which could be contained in a Relapse prevention card which you keep with you at all times. This narrative will focus upon what might be included in a Personal Relapse Prevention Plan (PRPP): Your identified…
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Dr. Rob and Dr. Erika Schwartz discuss the connection between intimacy and sex – what it is, how it varies based on age, gender, and culture, and what a partner’s betrayal really means about the relationship. The author of The Intimacy Solution, Dr. Erika explores the connection between sex and intimacy at all stages of life and answers the questio…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Don't approach your one year (from last 'Acting out) sobriety, as an end to the work. Don't do 'out of sight out of mind'; 'I never want to see that Recovery Programme material again'. Don't do it like that - at the end. 'I can stop reciting my 'Pillars' now. …
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre You need to applaud yourself on a job well done - to have got this far - at least one year from last Acting out. Now work towards achieving contentment. Life is a balancing act. On the one hand, you need to keep old habits at bay. Yet, on the other hand, you n…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Relapse Prevention tools are for life. Why? Because the neural Pathway that was opened, created and practised for many years, is dominant, but has the potential to be reactivated in an instant. It is easier to reactivate it and it becoming larger than life, fo…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre When all your Recovery Programme tools, skills and resources are not coming to your aid - have failed you - just R.U.N. There are times when all else fails and R.U.N really is the last option available to you in that moment. Don't debate with yourself; don't r…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre 'Brain, I'm telling you - you don't fight fair. Underhand. Dirty. I'm trying to do this for us. Are you listening to me?' I do a strange thing with everyone of my Sex Addiction clients. Multi-talented as I am, I do brain surgery on each one. (Mine is a bit cru…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Undistort your Cognitive Distortions. How? What are Cognitive Distortions? Examples might be: 'All guys do it', 'At least I am no longer visiting porn sites', 'I'll only be on here for 5 minutes, no longer', 'What I do, is not as bad as...', 'What an horrendou…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Negative Core Beliefs are often hidden from view. Often disguised; but masquerade as truths. They live in the unconscious. Not easily touchable. They work away in the hidden place doing their worst. They are uninvited guests. They have over stayed their invita…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Create new thinking to change the behaviour. How? A step at a time, to re-wire the brain. Create new Neural Pathways progressively over time. What is this thing called Neural Pathways? The hamster wheel patterns of behaviours. Those habits. The programming so …
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre A poem by Portia Nelson, published in her book There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery Verse I I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in. I am lost ... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Triggers are a clue to our dissociated Traumas - So says Carolyn Spring in Part 2 of her article on Managing Triggers: https://www.carolynspring.com/blog/we-have-two-choices-when-triggered/ The past events that we want to avoid thinking about or confronting, m…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Triggers don't play fair. They are often unpredictable (like a music track which comes on) and moves you from chilled to a fight to maintain sobriety. So underhand. Not a nice play partner. Carolyn Spring talks about the aftermaths of Triggers, from the sense …
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Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty continue their discussion about trauma. How can recovering addicts find the healing that they need when trauma is still unknown? How can you gather the right team to support you in your recovery work? How can you find peace following big ‘T’ and little ‘t’ trauma? They answer these questions and consider the gift …
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre The cave man/cave woman response of Fight/Flight/Freeze, is alive and well. Don't beat your brain up too badly. It is just doing what it was designed to do to protect you. The options it chooses or gravitates to, are at times, rather dubious and for Sex Addict…
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Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty explore trauma – what exactly is it, how does it come about, and what can you do about it? They consider the wounded healer, the importance of integrating all lived experiences to become whole again, and the role of self-forgiveness in overcoming trauma. Johanna is passionate about helping individuals heal from in…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Let me not re-invent the wheel in this episode. There are some really clever people who say it better than me (even if rather brain hurtingly academical)! Read this Article: The impact of the digital revolution on human brain and behavior: where do we stand? L…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre There is a correlation between Sex Addiction and ADHD. When faced with 'danger' on a daily basis (even whilst in the womb!), healthy brain development is derailed and impeded. The area in the brain called the Amygdala (the smoke alarm for danger), increase in …
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre I like this article by Luke Gilkerson (as long ago as 2012), when he interviewed a Neuroscientist called Dr William Struthers - author of the book "How pornograpghy Hijacks the male brain" Dr Struthers explains what hormones and neurotransmitters are involved …
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Remember, you cannot change what you cannot see and don't understand. Even when you can better see the problem and understand it, does not mean that you can change it - quickly. Insecure Attachment behaviours is one such pattern, which needs to be understood -…
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