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The Hoely Hour is an irreverent, earnest podcast about modern dating experiences — the good, the bad, and the hilarious. Cheeky hostesses Amelia and Liz candidly talk about personal experiences while amplifying sex positivity and advocating for mental health. Listeners write in their touching and shocking stories, and guests share their expertise on topics ranging from BDSM safety to healing relationship attachment wounds. All this, and more, during The Hoely Hour. Follow us on TikTok, Twitt ...
 
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The girls cover a topic they should have covered a long time ago: squirting. And also, the refreshing lemon-lime soda, Squirt. Liz and Amelia read some of the JUICIEST of all time listener emails. It's like they were written by M. Night Shyamalan. SCHADENFREUDE! A beautiful, delicious feeling described by the Germans in a single word. Liz will die …
 
Finally, an episode no one asked for: two unmarried women talking about weddings and marriage! The girls had a wild night out, and Amelia almost died in Liz's bed. Ah, to be haunted by the ghost of Amelia -- the American dream. If you need Liz to fight someone being rude at your wedding, she will do it for free. Amelia and Liz read listener advice …
 
"I'm so straight, I f*ck tits." - teenage boys. Have you heard of water bondage? It's basically what would happen if your dentist's office was a BDSM dungeon. Liz and Amelia read some of your emails and messages including cheating tales from a mistress, a fella who was catfished in Australia, and two dudes who can't agree on the best way to make wo…
 
It's time we finally talk about cheaters, and not the bad daytime television show. Amelia and Liz open up about their first-hand experiences with cheating and read listener DMs about being cheated on and even being the cheater. Do you think cheating is black and white? What do you even consider cheating? Plus some cheater-cheater-pumpkin-eater stat…
 
WE HAVE A PATREON! So now you can officially support your local hoe-stesses. Liz talks about her sex drive fluctuation (thanks, depression and anxiety!) What does it mean when your partner doesn't let you reciprocate the O? And are you picky or is your gut just trying to tell you something? Learn the number one way dudes break their ding-dongs!…
 
The tea is hot, Liz's apartment is hot, you're hot... it's a hot episode. Liz threatens cruel and unusual punishment to anyone who breaks Amelia's heart. Amelia caught her ex cheating on his new girl in 4k, then the girls recap a full detective mystery of a stranger sending Amelia unsolicited d*ck pics and how they discovered his identity. Plus, an…
 
We're rolling into our very first birthday like 2 Chainz, bring out the big booty hoez and champagne. Have you guys heard of docking? All the Mormon kids are doing it! Meet the Mariguana, the coolest gd reptile this state has ever seen. A listener asks for advice on how to tell her Catholic parents that her boyfriend isn't just her roommate. Anothe…
 
Welcome back to another episode of "spiraling out but make it fashion." The girls read a really great listener email about a unique dating circumstance. It's hot girl summer, folks. That means we are ONLY dating hotties. No more insecure jerks with Big Ugly personalities! Learn which household item is the most likely to become a sex toy... *eyebrow…
 
Do you grunt at the gym like a cave man? Let's talk about baby names. Were you named something completely normal and still teased by little asshole children? The girls answer listener questions! What are some go-to sex positions, and when is a good time to tell someone that you haven't been ~intimate~ in a while? Also, some lady gives her employees…
 
Welcome to The Hungover Hour. Bestie of the Pod, Anna, calls in with a v important question: who even has sex under the covers? Also if you get a period, you need this super weird life hack. Suck it, 5 minute crafts! Liz shares a home-wrecking horror story, plus the girls answer listener questions like: when can you unmatch someone, and how to tell…
 
Grab your ball-gag and your strap-on, because we’re getting kinky. It’s finally here: an episode that’s all about BDSM, featuring guest Kinky Katie! She’s a queen in the streets and a switch in the sheets. Katie has all the dirty details you need to unleash your inner Dom or Sub, and answers questions like how to spot a fake dom and the importance …
 
Buckle up folks, maybe get near a trashcan or something because the girls kick off today's episode with a truly repulsive story from Reddit about what happens when cis men don't properly clean uh... down there. Remember Your Puppy Girl Jenna? Liz hasn't stopped thinking about her... Anyways, here's where she is now and how she became a human dog. A…
 
Have you heard of a Trevi Fountain shot? It's when you let all the vaccinated people in a bar spit in your mouth. Fellas, sign up for our new app "Comedick Pic" where we stage a funny pic for your unsolicited D pics. It's still harassment, but at least it's entertaining. What is edging if not microdosing an orgasm? We read a dope listener email, an…
 
Fellas, is it gay to kiss a girl after she goes down on you? We have the perfect MLM opportunity for YOU! Get your heart broken and start living your best life, fueled by spite and therapy! The girls answer an important listener question: what's the difference between love-bombing and a honeymoon phase? And, Amelia shares steamy details of her firs…
 
Have you ever wanted your therapist to also be three drunk girls? Today they are! Madison is our first guest EVER, and a fellow therapized hottie. She explains attachment theory, which is basically why all of your exes suck. Plus, a riveting game of MFK featuring Destiny's Child, a Good Group of Johns, and the three best Chris's you know.…
 
Welcome to part 2 of the Consent is my Kink series for Sexual Assault Awareness Month! The girls analyze parts of the movie "Promising Young Woman" that best highlight the struggles folks face when confronted with sexual assault in everyday life. Amelia breaks down DARVO - a tactic aggressors and manipulators commonly use when confronted about thei…
 
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. We are doing a two-part episode series for the month of April in an effort to help bring awareness to issues humans face every single day. If you know us, you know we say “Consent is my kink” often, and consent is a huge part of intimacy for everyone. We’ve created merchandise that we’re selling on our websi…
 
IT'S FRIDAY BABY! We're reminiscing on some of our favorite moments in our earlier episodes! Amelia once heard that men's beards are correlated to how turned on they are, Liz will be calling her future children "lil b*tch," a rollercoaster romance featuring an actual sociopathic liar (but for good?), what aftercare is and why it is SO IMPORTANT! An…
 
Welcome to your inner monoliz, where Liz just says her inner thoughts out loud while Amelia is OOO. Finding work-life balance can be a struggle especially if you just wanna lay down 95% of the time. Everyone talks about kissing with your eyes closed, but what about sex? We NEED to hear your opinion! Liz shares everything you need to know about HPV,…
 
It’s 30, flirty, and thirsty Thursday, babes. Grab a bevy because the weekend is starting early! Your exes are just as insane as ours, and we have the listener stories to prove it. Are you a victim of love bombing? You may be titled to compensation, and that compensation is escaping clinical narcissism. Please secure your tray tables and seatbelts …
 
Welcome to Florida, where the population is exclusively men and crocodiles! The FBI works hard but Liz works harder. Liz catches her Scorpio ex being a creepy Scorpio and shares her expert sleuth tactics. You're welcome and sleuth safely. The girls become two Italian mothers and yell at Lil Uzi Vert for putting a diamond in his forehead like a GD A…
 
Mommy White Claws: It's not like a regular White Claw, it's a cool White Claw. Because it's loaded with vodka. You heard it here first folks: if you ain't simpin', you ain't pimpin'. The girls hate Valentine's Day, but it's only because elementary school teachers scarred us specifically. Last, let's get real about falling in love and exploring inti…
 
Drugs are bad, mmkay? Lifehack: call how you want to be treated a "kink." Sisqo is in the house, lemme see that thong! Do you remember your first thong? The girls answer a listener question about being just friends with someone you met on a dating app. Don't lie, your 20's low key kinda suck, and our Sexpert Amelia Samson shares why vaginas are sup…
 
Beam us up, Daddy! The girls talk about their biggest tinfoil-hat-theories and Liz reveals she dated a conspiracy theorist. Can you log semen on My Fitness Pal? Meet Frenchfry Dick and Ketchup Titties, the superheroes absolutely no one asked for. A listener emailed us a dick pic, and we answer a listener question about IUDs!_____________1:45 - 25:0…
 
What’s spookier than a pregnancy scare? Nothing. Except for when Amelia used to think she could get pregnant from dry humping. The girls talk all about periods, and that’s on periodt. Seventeen and Cosmogirl traumatized us all with the horror stories of toxic shock syndrome. Don't lie, all newborns look the same. “Chill” girls are the final boss of…
 
Have you ever had an acid-enduced threesome after taking a gas station d*ck pill? Spoiler: your bowels will protest. Amelia updates us on some very interesting dates she's been on, take notes folks! The girls talk pegging and Liz reveals she's "an early adopter of eating ass." Jeff Bezos needs sexting lessons from the girls, and Amelia shares a her…
 
Liz had a run-in with Gordon Ramsay in Vegas and would pay him to be called an idiot sandwich. The Hoely Hour gets biblical! Who is Lilith, why was she rejected from The Bible, and why is she now our queen? Amelia traumatizes Liz by telling her why chainsaws were first invented, and the girls share the historical horrors of birth-giving contraption…
 
Amelia tells a hookup horror story about a man who read her his joke ideas for a non-existent stand-up set after their bone dance. Liz shares how she was almost a magician's personal assistant on the Vegas strip and why she hates magicians. How do you tell someone you're dating that they smell? AND we share some of your worst gift stories!…
 
Buttplugs & Heartbreaks—it's not Beerbongs & Bentleys but it's close! Seriously though, have you considered some booty jewelry? Liz recommends you bedazzle that b-hole. AND seniority isn't a reason to stay in a relationship sis! Do you deserve a middle management boyfriend? Or the whole ass CEO of your heart? Amelia has some piping hot tea on her e…
 
It's our HALLOWEEN EPISODE! What's scarier than a pair of sweaty balls? The bacteria living in beards. Yes, you read that right. Prepare to be traumatized. Liz shares her spooky stories about getting lost in the mall and possible telepathy, while Amelia shares that she is pretty much the kid from Sixth Sense. Share your spookiest sex stories with u…
 
Would you want to share your birthday with your partner? Probably not if you're a Gemini and a Libra. (DEFINITELY not a Leo...) This episode, Amelia and Liz talk about the pressures of getting married and having kids, and if it's okay to still not know what you want. Also can we talk about how MEAN girls can be? Aggression in young girls is somethi…
 
Posting pics of your relationship - is it cute or are you compensating? Amelia and Liz discover the shocking extent of fleshlights. Be warned, you will go deaf from Liz's shocked screams that sound like you're at a heavy metal concert. Could she have edited it? Sure. Did she? No, because she's an agent of chaos. AND: When is it okay to end somethin…
 
Cry to win an argument! Just kidding please don't do that. Get Amelia on your side to win an argument for you. Did you ever have a drifter pathological liar friend growing up? If not, you're that friend. BODY COUNT: who has the highest in the world? Liz sh*ts on purity culture and the girls end with another game of f*ck, marry, kill featuring Disne…
 
Yes folks, you read that right, bop that WAP. Trust us. Or well, trust Liz, at least. A listener asked us to talk more in depth about therapy! We answer what we looked for when searching for a therapist, how we prepare for our appointments, and more. Amelia celebrates the upcoming election and Liz celebrates learning to make a crunchwrap (Taco Bell…
 
Come on down to Schlongs for brunch! It's like Hooters, where straight women can show everyone how straight they are while eating a meal. Are you ready for marriage, or are you ready for a wedding? And make your partner go with you while you get an IUD so he can watch some blasé OB/GYN obliterate your cervix while you scream into his face and debat…
 
This podcast is now hosted by two 12-year-old boys, featuring farts and bewbs. If you want six-pack abs, start holding in your farts at the gym. Referring to women as "females" makes you a domestic terrorist. We're no longer slapping men ladies, we're head-butting them. It's monogamy! It's like The Hustle, but monogamous. Amelia and Liz talk about …
 
The D.A.R.E. program worked really well on these girls. What's a DABs of the Week and is it you? You NEED to add cursing your exes to your skincare routine. Taking a BDSM assessment is like an enneagram for sexual deviance. The girls talk about dating someone who is respectful of your hobbies and time, being transparent, and more.…
 
Do you know what your "focus face" looks like? Is your man the Jackson Pollock of ejaculation? Do you love this shit? Are you high right now? Are you in a place to relieve information that might possibly turn you on? Liz will break all of your small cups, and Amelia sounds like she's talking from the other side of the room because we're low budget …
 
Thirst traps so good, dudes wanna meet you like his name is Ted Mosby. Social media FBI agents Liz and Amelia share how to find out if someone’s ex blocked them, Amelia has a beard kink, and Liz sexts a guy with an Oedipus obsession. And one listener shares an interesting sex story… let’s just say there’s a new meaning “big ass Sharpie.”…
 
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