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The past few days I’ve spent a lot of time contemplating life, staring at my reflection. I used to have a fish pond at my parents house. It was filled with Koi. They used to stay pretty small since it was a small pond, and they’d eat the algae at the bottom. Sadly most of them are dead now, because of a stork that kept coming through and eating the…
 
The real sound of silence is how crappy Kiyan’s audio is this week. Something something I could make a song reference here but it just seems too easy so why would I do that? Instead I’m just going to ramble at length about literally nothing. Just kidding, I won’t do that. Instead I’ll just end this description here. It’s The Sound of Silence writte…
 
The More Things Change, The More They Come in Clutch. When I have parties at the airport they always make me do a confetti check when I leave. It’s required! I have to go through the metal detector, then the wand, then an x-ray machine, then an air blower, then a magnet… look it’s a whole process to get all the confetti out. Don’t even ask why it’s…
 
I had an affair with a computer once. (Editor’s note: Her (2013)) It was a long time ago. Back when computers were curvy and that was attractive. She was a big hulking room sized machine. A Cray-1. Man the curves on that thing. Just knew how to turn me on in all the right ways. It’s Computer Affair written by Tony Barwick and aired on April 28, 197…
 
I’m an expert on Court Martials. Look I was just kidding with that by-line. I don’t know anything about court martials actually, all I know is that they’re basically just military trials. I have as little contact with the military as possible in all honesty, although… nah I won’t say anything more. It’s Court Martial, written by Tony Barwick and ai…
 
Recording this episode was an Ordeal. I’ve survived loads of ordeals though. This one was pretty trivial compared to some of the ordeals I’ve been through in my life. There was that time I got held up at a red light when I really needed to pee. Now that was what I call a true ordeal. It’s Ordeal, written by Tony Barwick and aired on April 14, 1971.…
 
Is there a spacelash? Timelash, spacelash, temporallash, they’re all the same thing. It’s just a time corridor that links you to the future. Or the past. And you have to jump into it and travel through time and… I don’t know where I’m going with this, it’s 10:30 at night and I only just remembered I needed to edit the episode and quite frankly I’m …
 
I had an affair with a Dalek once. No, I swear, I did! He was very loving. He treated me nicely and would always hunt down anybody who ever hurt me. If somebody said something mean to me he would exterminate them. If somebody got in my way he would destroy them. And if I did anything wrong he’d…. It’s The Dalotek Affair, written by Ruric Powell and…
 
butnowimback-pinkmartini.wav Guess who’s back? Back again? Inevitable. Inevitable is back and you might say that it was all Inevitable because god dammit that’s exactly why we named ourselves that. Because this was always inevitable. Always. For all time. It’s The Man Who Came Back, written by Terence Feely and aired on February 3, 1971. Show-notes…
 
The FAA did not approve this episode. I had a flight path filed once, for the local airport. It was a pretty steep path, came in right over these houses. And we saw a guy just standing in the road with a rocket launcher. I dunno how they got there, but there they were. Just shooting off some missiles. It’s Flight Path, written by Ian Scott Stewart …
 
When it comes to benders, you’ve got a couple types to choose from. First. there’s bender from Futurama, Then, there’s bendy straws. And that’s it. Usually, those are your only options. But UFO provides a third. It’s Mindbender, written by Tony Barwick and aired on January 13, 1971. Show-notes: 3:50: Pretty sure Steven will suggest “Fully Armed and…
 
Guess what? Inevitable survived our hiatus and we’re officially back in action. So this week I was walking down the road when I was bitten by a cheetah person. Oh shoot, wrong show. Uh, shoot, uh actually it was an alien. With green skin. It bit me on my arm, through my space suit. Yeah that’s what happened. It’s Survival, written by Tony Barwick a…
 
We all now belong to the Church of Sil. Look, it’s a podcast about old doctor who characters coming back and appearing in the most random way possible. How can you not expect that Sil would make an appearance? He’s basically the greatest character that’s ever graced our television screens. And I mean that most sincerely. It’s Redacted, written by J…
 
I need a spinach detector to get all of my spinach organized. Coming soon from Big Finish Productions, for all your kitchen needs: Spinach Detectors. Joining their long and extensive line of kitchen equipment, like Potato Detectors, Beet Detectors, and angry Time Lord Detectors. Winter for the Adept written by Andrew Cartmel and released in July 20…
 
I think Kiyan spent a little too much time on knowyourmeme this week. So one time I was driving my car away from the shop after replacing my transmission fluid and Dom Toretto pulled up next to me. He rolled down his window, and I obliged the unspoken invitation to do the same. He had been looking for a challenge, he said, and offered to race me. I…
 
We call those MIMs in the business. I can’t even have any Earth Instinct Moments. You ever look at a bug and go “huh it’s 4 inches long and it’s bright red with black stripes, it’s probably harmless?” Well good news, you just had an Earth Instinct Moment. And you’re doing better than I am. It’s Red Dawn written by Justin Richards and released in Ma…
 
It’s kind of like the need for speed but more academic. So once upon a time I opened up a book. And I wanted to just go ahead and read it and be all chill. I sat down, I lit a candle. I fluffed up my couch cushion. And just as I started to read I felt an itching. A need. A need for cheese. It’s The Genocide Machine written by Mike Tucker and releas…
 
Damn, now I want Hot Chocolate. Conspiracies. Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without coming up with a new one every 4.6 seconds. Well, maybe that’s just me. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s just this week’s story, coming your way via our way courtesy once again of Big Finish. It’s all about conspiracies – actually just one conspiracy in particular, that…
 
Ever stop and wonder what your biggest fears in life are? Probably, but what about whether you yourself are someone or something’s biggest fear? Whether you yourself are stirring a pot of of warm, bubbly fear without even knowing it? Whether you may be called a true fearmonger, which, coincidentally, is the name of the audio we’re covering this wee…
 
I wish I had the common courtesy to die I wrote a Doctor Who fan fiction called “The Colony of the Dead” once. This is a true story, by the way. Anyway, I wrote it long before I knew this audio existed. It features the First Doctor in an icy wasteland where dead people are coming back to life. I’m pretty sure I still have it somewhere actually… It’…
 
Just drop that seaweed in the blender and blend it right up. Yum. Did you hear that? That noise. The one just behind you. The one that kind of sounded like a door opening. Nah, never mind, it probably wasn’t important. Probably just the wind. It’s Whispers of Terror, written by Justin Richards and released in November, 1999. Show-notes: 0:37: Ironi…
 
Alternate title: Hell Yeah, Mark Strickson! We were less enthusiastic about old Mark after we learned he was maybe possibly theoretically hypothetically a redhead, but also not one at the same time. Got give it up to him though. He was pretty fantastic in this story. Or should I say phantastic, with a “ph?” Probably not because it’s not spelled wit…
 
Nothing more grating than a cheese grater, especially when you’re using it to grate yourself. Going to town with it on your own body. Turning yourself into a bloody pulp if you know what I’m saying. Tearing your flesh to shreds if you catch my drift. Permanently maiming yourself in the most hideous and painful way possible if you get my meaning. Th…
 
Did you know that Sea Devils actually have major hops? This week we return to the podcast that kicked off everything. It’s the moment that started everything, Trust Your Doctor, coming back for its triumphant return. Unfortunately, its to cover an episode that is… less than triumphant if we do say so. It’s Legend of the Sea Devils, written by Ella …
 
Topic of the week: hiatuses. I’m kind of confused about this episode actually. The explanation for the super strength is the fact that people’s nervous systems were super charged, but does that also mean they got stuffed with thirty kilos of C4? Because some of those explosions were absolutely bananas. No way there wasn’t some accelerant involved. …
 
This week on Space Inevitable: A Space Sci-Fi Space Podcast. I’m ready for my close up, are you? Cuz this week the aliens are coming in full force to take some snaps of us while we podcast. That’s right, real live aliens are currently taking pictures of us right now. You could be their next feature, their next cover model! So you better make sure y…
 
Our audio tracks somehow got slightly misaligned in this episode, so the conversation is a little off. Sorry. I never realized triangles could be squares you know? In the future, I think we should aim to reduce the number of sides in a polygon, rather than increasing. So that would be the triangle would go to… the biangle? Which is possible, just n…
 
This week we learned not to plant seeds in Straker’s head. Sometimes I wonder if maybe the biggest threat to SHADO is Straker himself. So many of the things he does seem to be the detriment to the organization as a whole, it’s a hard theory to ignore. Should Straker be replaced? Was Paul onto something in Kill Straker? Find out this week, on Destru…
 
Something something title of this episode something something Freeman Apologist. Look if I had a sub as a kid, I would smash it too. Actually, I have this Lego set of the Beatles Yellow Submarine, and when I got it and I used to have this obsession with taking it apart and rebuilding it. I got to the point where I could basically rebuild it from me…
 
Something something, we didn’t even make an Eldrad Must Die reference somehow. Honestly, with a name like Straker, it’s not too hard to comprehend why people would want to kill him. I mean, it’s such a pretentious name. Just listen to it as it rolls off the tongue. Straker. It’s harsh. Arrogant. Bombastic. Not saying we should kill Straker, just sa…
 
I used to have ESP, then I took an arrow to the brain. Can’t believe I just unironically referenced Skyrim in the episode description. When was the last time that was even relevant? Would you consider magical mind reading as ESP? That feels like a whole new can of worms that I’ll leave closed for now. You’re welcome. It’s ESP, written by Alan Fenne…
 
I have plenty of questions about this episode, to be honest. Look, if I’m being straight with you, I always go into every episode of UFO with a bunch of questions. Dozens of them. Hundreds even. And every time the episode answers every single one of them. Can you believe that? Really just proves how good of a show this is. It’s A Question of Priori…
 
This week on Inevitable: mild conflict over whether this episode is good or not. Was Conflict good? Was it bad? Don’t worry, it’s all up to you. We just sit here and talk about the episode for an hour and that’s about all we’re good at, if you think about it. We can really lay on those plot summaries like nobody else. Enough talk, it’s Conflict, wr…
 
Today’s not-title title: “The Huskies of the Cat World”. I have an aunt who has a Husky, actually. She’s really cute. The dog. Although, to be fair I guess, I’ve never actually met the dog since she got it after the last time we visited the country. The dog could be a ferocious killer for all I know. It’s The Cat With Ten Lives, written by David To…
 
UFO really gunning for the Prisoner too with these one word titles. Inevitable has a one word title too, actually. In a way. I mean, Inevitable is a single word, but we have a sub title too. A sub title about this podcast being about this podcast allegedly being about sci fi or something like that. I dunno, that’s what I’m told this show is about. …
 
It’s like putting on your old comforting sweater. “I know what a god damn Tesco express is”. These are the fateful words that mark our journey into the depths of 1970’s British television once again. If there are people more well versed, more well studied, in old British sci-fi television than we are and is under the age of 30, then let us know. Be…
 
If this had a title, it would be “The Illuminati-esque Drawings of a Four Year Old” We have a tendency here at Decorative Vegetable towers to use the suffix “-esque” to describe things. We’ve done it on Trust Your Doctor (“PJ Hammond-esque”) and here on Inevitable (also “PJ Hammond-esque”), and now we do it once more. No, we didn’t use “PJ Hammond-…
 
Warning: this episode is filled with deceit I don’t know what exactly we’re deceiving you about but I know it’s somewhere in this episode. If you end up figuring out what it is, please let me know. Our email address is at the end of the episode, so just listen until then and you can get it for yourself. It’s The Deceivers, written by Matthew Graham…
 
I think we should rename ourselves to Podcasting Overlords. Isn’t it weird how the word “lord” is used in a lot of sci-fi? Like Time Lords… Overlords… Lords of Time…. lords… Look this was a way better point when I started this sentence than when I finished it. So you’re just going to have to pretend to agree with me. It’s The Overlords, written by …
 
Apple still doesn’t like “episode 0.” This season we’re doing Childhood’s End, the classic SyFy tv show. You know, from 2015? The classic! It’s basically already immortalized in the science-fiction canon. I mean, the book certainly is, but probably not the TV show. Yet. Well anyway we also announce that we’re doing UFO as soon as we finish this sea…
 
I suppose there are worse things to have on the brain. It’s Eve of the Daleks, written by Chris Chibnall and aired on January 1, 2022 Show-notes: 2:55: For some reason I will take this opportunity to link you to our Heaven Sent episode, over a year ago! 4:00: Not gonna link this. 8:01: Jar Jar Binks is canon to the Doctor Who universe. 20:02: Here’…
 
And in the end…. The people you kill are equal to the people you save. Or something like that. That’s how the song goes right? Because we’re at the end of another show and I really need to make hip topical references so the kids think I’m cool and stuff. Which means referencing hip cool trendy current music. It’s Serenity (2005), written by Joss Wh…
 
Quote of the week: “The whole podcast is a sham held together by dreams.” We’re almost at the end of Season 7 of Inevitable. Inevitable has already outlasted all of the shows we’ve watched on this show. Including Lexx. At least in terms of number of seasons, so take that, Lexx. It’s Objects in Space, written by Joss Whedon and aired on December 13,…
 
You heard it here first, from the podcast that the show is based on rather than the other way around ™. The end of our first season that we podcasted along with the episodes as they aired. So that’s gotta be something important in our history right? And three episodes from now we’ll basically have finished up this whole era on the podcast, with our…
 
I don’t have a heart of gold, I have a heart of silver. What is a heart of silver, you ask? Well I’m glad you’re curious because frankly I am too. What the hell does it mean to have a heart of silver? I just kind of made it up on the spot to try and be witty for the podcast, but I don’t think it’s working. In fact I’m literally making it worse the …
 
Trust Your Doctor normally has insane ideas, but this time they’ve gone too far. We’re rapidly closing in on the end of possibly the whirl windiest season of Doctor Who ever written. It’s bizarre, it’s amazing, it’s huge. It’s everything you ever wanted from a Doctor Who story. Or at least, that’s what the boys over at Trust Your Doctor think. I me…
 
I’m sending out an SOS. I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle. Yeah I just quoted a Police song in the podcast description. What are you gonna do about it? That’s right, nothing cuz the version of me that wrote this is long moved past this joke by the time you read this. It’s The Message, written by Joss Whedon and Tim Minear and aired on…
 
Well, I suppose it was worth a shot trying to get him to take it back. (Editor’s note: No.) We somehow went this entire episode without making a “Children of the Stones” joke. Can you believe that? I can’t believe that. We made a dozen of those jokes while we were watching the episode, so the fact that we didn’t make a single one in the episode is …
 
Something something wish dot com tactical jacket. Look I’ll give it to you straight doc, I don’t know what to write here. I could make a bunch of jokes about trash but Kiyan made most of them in the episode. Ok so did I, I made a bunch of those jokes too. So it seems kind of overplayed now, I don’t want to beat the dead horse, you know? This nonsen…
 
1 step forward, 23597908945832974317590327591375932175 steps back. Have you ever seen that Disney Christmas special, “Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas?” I remember owning it on DVD as a kid, but I actually for some reason remember thinking that the sequel, “Mickey’s Twice Upon a Christmas” was better. I don’t know why I remember this. I’m not sure an…
 
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