"Griftin'" (to the tune of Clarence Carter's "Strokin'") When he’s not grabbing butts And mute, judging stuff He be griftin’ Morning, noon, insurrection He be griftin’ He grifts from the living And then he grifts from the dead He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next He be griftin’ He’s ‘bout to sell somethin’ How much money are you willi…

In this episode I snarkily dissect my joyous experience interacting with Trumpers since joining Twitter Blue in recent weeks. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/ Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ YouTube https:…

So you didn't have to, I read the 44-page Trump indictment. Here is my modest, hilarious, brilliant take on it all. Hey, as I've always said, "You can't spell 'awesome' nor 'modest' without 'ME.'" Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniec…

“Right the Right” Been off course for a while Siri’s a woman So, they go in the opposite direction They don’t know where they are Or where they’re heading But would rather wreck than admit they were wrong Let’s control the wheel and right the right They need our help; they’re too drunk to drive Let’s control the wheel and right the right They shoul…

“Orwellian Poetry” (A. “Woke Insomnia” / B. “Project Real”) [Part 1: Orwellian Poetry] It was the con of the century It read like Orwellian poetry Too blinded by their own hypocrisy To see the dystopian irony Their delusions quickly became quite clear The con “will set us free” [Part 2: Woke Insomnia] Insomnia Woke insomnia Woke insomnia Woke insom…

“Slim-to-None Funds” Do you know who they’re stealing from? Charities named after them The dollars keep rolling in Diverted to greens and bogey-men Claiming donations as grifts They’ve sunk lower than piles of sh*t The depths of Satan’s fiery pit? Lower than it None, slim-to-none funds Take from children Give to themselves None, slim-to-none funds …

“Erratic Days” Playing Candy Crush at a quarter to two on Monday afternoon Before throwing Skittles about the room, shouting, “Where in the f*ck’s the blue?” Next saying, “I guess orange will do, and this purple sh*t too” All while watching cartoons he calls “news” Unpredictability on speed Yes, no, yes, maybe He’s up one minute, the next minute do…

“You’re Accused and Betrayed” Insurrection! He will bail you all out At least that’s what he says He has told thirty-thousand lies So, his promises aren’t worth a sh*t Y’all get flocked up; baa; and spout QAnon gibberish Attack police, what’s free Because you’re patriotic So, Donnie eats his Whoppers As you’re handcuffed and put away Guess it reall…

“Senseless Mind Syndrome” His IQ is in the high teens What’s left in his head constantly shrinking A confined vocabulary Just two-letter words, maybe three He’s ignorant of everything From physics to human anatomy Thinks Einstein was just bread with cheese That femurs were types of monkeys It’s outdated, dissipated His brain had its day, so he says…

“¿Amar Old Glory Hole? (Brittle Don)” Brittle Don, brittle Don, you’re always cryin’ You lost another suit – this one for lyin’ Brittle con, brittle con, the truth is hurtin’ The odds of you outside a cell and workin’ Far away is where we think you should go Somewhere between Saturn and Uranus Stay in space until you float to Pluto We’ll salute wit…

“Daughter’s Sexy” Incestuous and grossness He can’t stop saying, “Look, my daughter’s sexy” Incestuous and nauseous “A 10; hotter than yours; my daughter’s sexy” He’ll make the comment on a talk show “I’d hit that if she weren’t my daughter” Everyone and their moms start to cringe Then whisper, “What the f*ck is wrong with him?!?” He’s the leader o…

“Harassing All Women and Girls” She’d rather suffer a migraine, gout, and kidney stones than shake his hand She’d rather get a full-face tattoo of a$$ than smell his stench She’d rather recreate “Titanic” sinking than hear him scream her name They want nothing to do with him; he’s harassing all women and girls She’d rather skydive without a parachu…

“Pisstaker” Not one, but six! So, my name is Donnie; I’ve got no money; owned by the Russian mob Together do some “laundry,” or they’ll clean me out (Oh, no-no) So, I call my Vlady; I’m on hold, hold, hold, hold, hold After five hours, he says, “Why don’t you just leave us alone?” So, I wear a bracelet, as a reminder; asks “What Would Vlady Do?” If…

“He’s Jesus Nowhere” Lesu anchiteze Ese es quien es “Trump Jesus was arrested by the Roman government” (…yllaer ton tuB) …eH ma I dnA They chant his name when he arrives Give him all the money they don’t have Thinking that will help them to survive Though he doesn’t care that they’re alive (Pay up!) For all his suits (Pray now!) That he hears you (…

“Stormy At Birth” Melanie’s at home with their son So, where’s he gone? Getting milk, food at the store? No, he met a porn star instead In a bed Husband, father of the year He whips out his mini-mushroom Then saying, “I was in the pool” Pretending he was cool He was finished before they started Saying “Sign this and tell no one” Life changed after …

“Donnie’s a Zero” He thinks he is seeing green, but is in the red Dealt a winning hand, but still having to fold, as he turned casinos into sh*t Vodka and steaks rarely miss, yet he couldn’t make a dime The world’s greatest businessman, only if all others died Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero Hey-ho, Donnie’s …

“Withholding the Bribery” Speaking, he was only speaking “I’ll give you that if you give me this,” no quid pro quo Dealing, he is always dealing “Four-hundred million for Biden’s dental records” Reeling, his story is reeling Like the Pinocchio-who-cried-wolf on steroids Covers, he’s running for covers But the bed he made he will now have to lie in …

“¡Amar Old Glory Hole!” Oh, glory hole, you’re a fantasy of his mind What could be on the other side? A porn star ready to spank him with his face? His personal “doctor” saying, “Here’s something you can sniff”? Unfortunately no, neither of those were the case They’d be much too clean for his sick and demented tastes Oh, glory hole, what he wants w…

“No More Honesty” Y’all want no more honesty? Y’all get no more honesty Just a growing nose when he speaks - honestly Y’all want no more honesty? Y’all get no more honesty Just a growing nose when he speaks - honestly Y’all want no more honesty? Y’all get no more honesty Just a growing nose when he speaks - honestly His mouth is an enemy to our dem…

“34 Felony Crackdown” [Part I] Whoo, whoo-whoo, whoo-whoo Born in a mansion, the son of a king His shadow was opportunity All the failures were greeted with a shrug No consequences for all his f*ck-ups The three-millionth time was no charm The truth hatched, he’s more screwed than a chick at a farm 34 felony crackdown There’s no misdemeanors to be …

“Con of the Century” It was the con of the century Only happens in idiocracies Their heads placed permanently in the sand Forgot to look up to breathe again Told to not believe what they see nor hear Unless uttered by faux “John Miller” He authored the con of the century On a yuge bathroom stall with a Sharpie Their delusions quickly became quite c…

34 Felony Crackdown 1. "Con of the Century" - 0:57 Act I: Dotards and Dons 2. "34 Felony Crackdown" - 5:10 3. "No More Honesty" - 3:12 4. "¡Amar Old Glory Hole!" - 3:31 5. "Withholding the Bribery" - 4:40 6. "Donnie's a Zero" - 3:11 7. "Stormy At Birth" - 3:52 Act II: Harlequins and Fakes 8. "He's Jesus Nowhere" - 4:36 9. "Pisstaker" - 3:24 10. "Ha…

"Expel Ds" (to the tune of Silverchair's "Abuse Me") Need to take some action Getting in their face They just went full fascist Let’s f*ck ‘em in different ways Come on, expel Ds, yeah, we’ll fight it Well, they don’t think they’ll suffer But we’ll make sure they do They’ll be running scared And trip on the truth Come on, expel Ds, yeah, we’ll figh…

"MAGA Tears" (to the tune of Cold's "Wasted Years") There’s a meme they post After he gets indicted with thirty felonies Saying life ain’t fair To him and the billions he stole All the tweets go on out Donations come on in Mad emojis clicked Pressed the caps lock again Blaming allergies Glad tissues are near They can’t help but let out some MAGA te…

"Grifts Away" (to the tune of Dobie Gray's "Drift Away") Day after day he files lawsuits For anything, nothing, and/or everything Through it all he has never paid his dues His lawyers snarl and cringe He’s still the same They give him some treats, then give him some more As he tricks them, doing nothing at all, and grifts away They give him some tr…

I dedicate this podcast to Brian Grgurich, who was gay; never given a fair chance in life; and passed way too soon. Rest in peace, my good friend.저자 Craig Rozniecki

In this episode I cover Trump's indictment; what the prosecution will prove; and what the defense will try pulling from their arse. Not only that, I snarkily respond to right-wingers' ridiculously over-the-top commentary regarding their hero's arrest. Such precious snowflakes... Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Twitter http…

"Donnie and the Feds" (to the tune of Elton John's "Bennie and the Jets") MAGAts, better look on Twitter Donnie raided for nothing ‘Cept stealing something nuclear Yeah, he’ll sell it to anyone Who wears a crown So, let’s all grab some booze and popcorn For he’s going down So, Lady G and Ghouli are freaking out Their heads deep up his ass D-D-D-Don…

In this episode, I discuss the perception vs. the reality that is the Joe Biden presidency thus far. Includes: snark, facts, snarky facts, and facty snarks. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Autho…

In this episode, I talk 187 minutes (for 10 minutes); Josh Hawley resembling a chicken; and Clark Kent, all while providing my best/worst impressions of Adam Kinzinger, Steve Bannon, and of course, Donald Trump. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com…

In this episode, I break down the 7th January 6th hearing. Said breakdown includes Donald Trump and Alex Jones impressions, as well as a comparison between the former and a specific type of excrement. Enjoy. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/Cra…

In this episode, I light up and then explode at the Republican Party for ruining the 4th of July, bigly. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/…

In this episode, I relay my belated thoughts on the Cassidy Hutchinson testimony. My 4-year-old son says I'm the "best," so it's more exciting than it sounds. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Aut…

In this episode, I tell anti-choice men without uteruses/uteri what they can do to themselves. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/…

Here's my snarky analysis on session #5 of the January 6th hearings. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/저자 Craig Rozniecki

In this episode, I snarkily dissect the 2022 Texas Republicans resolution. No matter how crazy you figure it is, yeah, it's crazier than that. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRoznieck…

In this episode, I present my thoughts on session #4 of the January 6th hearings. If I had to sum it up in 3 words and 1 abbreviation, it'd be "Trump is guilty AF." Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Facebook https://www.facebook.c…

"They're Gonna Watch (2,000 Mules)" (to the tune of The Proclaimers' "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)") When he wakes up, well, I know he’s gonna lie He’s gonna lie because he’s Dinesh D’Souza When he speaks out, yeah, I know he’s gonna lie He’s gonna lie because he lies when his lips move If he posts tweets, well, I know he’s gonna lie He’s gonna lie bec…

In this episode, I talk about the third January 6th hearing, mainly focusing my attention on why Mike Pence isn't the hero many are claiming he is. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRoz…

What do Washington Commanders defensive coordinator Jack Del Rio and Tampa Bay Devil Rays pitcher Jason Adam have in common? They lend credence to the dumb-jock stereotype. In this episode, I snarkily dissect a couple of their recent such comments. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blog…

Here are my thoughts on the 2nd hearing with regard to the Capitol attacks, including a fictional back-and-forth between Donald Trump and an inebriated Rudy Giuliani on election night. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Facebook ht…

Here is my take on the first of seven scheduled hearings regarding the January 6th attacks on the U.S. Capitol. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/…

Due to yet another mass-shooting, I felt the need to snarkily refute the ten favorite NRA/GOP talking points surrounding gun-reform. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/…

Due to the recent sexual-misconduct allegation made by a SpaceX flight attendant against Elon Musk, I decided to concoct a Letterman-style Top Ten List of Elon Musk pick-up lines. Drumroll please... Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniec…

When it comes to inflation and baby-formula shortages, the GOP is like that guy who posts on Facebook how wonderful his wife is right after sleeping with her best friend and just before getting it on with a girl from the club he calls Donkey Kong. This episode is all about GOP hypocrisy, bigly. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ9…

Canadian clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson is the Dr. Phil of Ron Burgundys. The guy loves to hear himself speak and often times doesn't know what the hell he's talking aboot. In this episode, I tackle Peterson's rampant sexism via a fictionalized dialogue between him and a female patient who goes by the name Serendipity Sasquatch. Books https:…

I was recently told racism wouldn't exist if people stopped talking about it. Then the Buffalo shooting occurred. In this episode, I get snarkily psychological (or is it psychologically snarky?) about racism in this country. ...and yes, the title was inspired by Mr. Psychology himself, George Costanza ("It's not a lie...if you believe it"). Books h…

In this episode, I snarkily dissect Elon Musk's claim that the modern-day Democratic Party has been hijacked by extremists. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/…

In this episode, I snarkily dissect Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito's opinion draft on overturning Roe v. Wade. Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/…

"We Stand with the Ukraine" (to the tune of Cypress Hill's "Insane in the Brain") Why you trying to impeach our man, Murcans? You know we with Putin So, we gotta tiptoe around this Bleedin’ Russian red, pissin’ yellow ‘n’ blue Injected bleach near our wisdom tooth Yeah, should probably get that checked out soon That was some kinda tangent Fo’ real,…