최고 Baffling 팟캐스트 (2025)

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Ep. 213: Resentment & Parenting 42:34

7d ago42:34

42:34

Resentment. We’ve all felt it. Very little about this parenting journey has gone according to plan. We’ve done the hard work- the never-ending work actually - of rewiring everything we thought we knew about behavior, what it means to be human, how to parent, and how to have a family. Some days we do it without a second thought. Some days are full o…

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Ep. 212: Are We Just Rewarding Bad Behavior? 43:44

14d ago43:44

43:44

One of the harder things to navigate when shifting to a nervous system lens on behavior is the feeling that a lot of the strategies seem like they are rewarding bad behavior. Strategies that invite regulation, connection, and felt safety are usually strategies that feel good. If our kids feel good after bad behavior, will they have MORE bad behavio…

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Ep. 211: Hard? Too Hard? For PARENTS!!! 26:58

21d ago26:58

26:58

We talk a lot about hard very too hard for your kids (thanks Amanda Diekman for that hard vs. too hard language!). But have you considered applying that concept to yourself? This is intensive parenting! Far beyond when parenting is supposed to get less intensive, you’re still giving super-hero level scaffolding, supervision and co-regulation - and …

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{BONUS} Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior- webinar replay 53:48

24d ago53:48

53:48

This BONUS episode is the audio from my FREE webinar, Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior. This webinar aired lived on 02/04/2025. You can watch the video webinar for free over at https://RobynGobbel.com/webinar You can also download the free, accompanying resources, including: eBook, fridge sheets about the Owl, Watchdog, and Possum, al…

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Ep 210: Sabotage and Being Set Up 34:47

28d ago34:47

34:47

It’s very common to feel like our kids are either intentionally sabotaging good things or that they are purposefully setting us up to be mad or disappointed or to have to say no. You aren’t imagining this phenomenon! All humans do it, but our kids with vulnerable nervous system and big, baffling behaviors may seem like they do it more often. In thi…

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Ep. 209: No One is Coming to Save Us 42:50

1M ago42:50

42:50

It took me a looooooong time to really truly believe and understand that- no one is coming to save me. I had to do the hard work to take responsibility for my own triggers, my own nervous system, my own change. This only happened after oodles and oodles of safety, connection, and co-regulation. Maybe you, like me, have held onto the hope that someo…

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Ep. 208: Bravely Being With Grief with Rose LaPiere 49:14

1M ago49:14

49:14

Rose LaPiere LPC, RPT-S, and ACS invites into a space of safety and connection so we can make room for grief. Rose brings her own experiences of grief to her work as a play therapist (and co-leader in Robyn’s immersive training program for parenting professionals, Being With) so she can bravely welcome in, and be with, her client’s big, at times ov…

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Ep. 207: Is It Time to Raise the Bar? 38:29

2M ago38:29

38:29

You’ve lowered stress and demands. You’ve reframed your child’s behavior as a response from their autonomic nervous system. You’ve worked hard to help your child’s stress response system rest and begin to heal Now what? In this episode, you’ll learn How rest is only one part of the healing process The importance of reintroducing stress The differen…

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Ep. 206: Punishment Free Parenting with Jon Fogel 1:06:43

2M ago1:06:43

1:06:43

Jon Fogel is a dad who combined his passion for parenting, neuroscience, and impacting the world to create a viral social media account (@wholeparent) and then to publish his book, Punishment-Free Parenting. Jon and I get lost in some pretty deep topics together, including How he helps parents make huge parenting shifts How parenting with punishmen…

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Ep. 205: Scaffolding Felt Safety 56:30

2M ago56:30

56:30

How do we help kids feel safe when they are safe? How do we help them take in the safety that exists in their life when their life experiences seem to have convinced them that nothing is safe. Scaffolding. Yes, we can scaffold felt safety. My recovery from a very serious back injury left me pondering the importance of felt safety in taking risks an…

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Ep. 204: The Way of Play with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson 54:52

2M ago54:52

54:52

Play makes kids stronger. It’s necessary for their physical and emotional development, and even their academic development. Play helps kids work through and make sense of hard things. A few months ago I went searching for a resource that teaches parents some of skills I used as a play therapist because I am passionate about breaking down barriers a…

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REPLAY: Living with Someone Chronically Dysregulated 27:41

2M ago27:41

27:41

Do you live with someone or love someone who is chronically dysregulated? This episode isn’t an episode that is going to tell you what to do. This is an episode of commiseration. Of “I see you.” It is exhausting to live with someone who is chronically unhappy, or chronically dysregulated. Knowing you’re not alone can help. In this episode, you’ll l…

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REPLAY: Silliness as a Sign of Dysregulation 44:03

3M ago44:03

44:03

Have you ever felt confused by your child’s silly behavior? It seems like they are having fun, but it doesn’t feel good at all? In this episode, you’ll learn How to tell the difference between fun-silly and dysregulated-silly What’s going on in the brain and nervous system for a child who is dysregulated-silly Practical ideas for how to support you…

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REPLAY: You Aren't Doing it Wrong 33:10

3M ago33:10

33:10

You aren’t parenting wrong. It’s not your fault. Asking “What am I doing wrong?” is the wrong question! Here’s what be curious about instead. In this episode, you’ll learn: That you’re not doing it wrong (well, not any more wrong than anyone else) A more helpful to question to ask ourselves when our kids are struggling Why having kids who are never…

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REPLAY: Grief in Parenting 36:11

3M ago36:11

36:11

Robyn explores the grief in parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems In this episode, you’ll learn: The relationship between trauma and grief Why it's important to make space for grief in our kids and in ourselves The role of self-compassion How a lack of media representation of your parenting journey causes grief Resources mentioned in this …

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REPLAY: Not Flipping Your Lid...When Your Kid Flips Theirs 32:46

3M ago32:46

32:46

How do we not flip our lids when our kids are going bananas? It's HARD. Because dysregulation is quite literally contagious!! And if we flip our lids too then it's usually pretty hard to deescalate the situation. Offering connection, regulation, and felt-safety to our kids is a lot easier if we don't flip our lids! (Although for sure- perfection in…

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REPLAY: Felt Safety (Between) - Part 3 49:06

3M ago49:06

49:06

Cues of safety, danger, or life threat come from three places- inside, outside, and between. In part 3 of this series on felt safety, we are exploring felt safety from between- from relationship! In this episode, you’ll learn How availability of connection is a cue of safety or danger How neuroception can tell the state of the other person’s nervou…

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REPLAY: Felt Safety (Outside) - Part 2 40:08

3M ago40:08

40:08

In this second episode of a three-part series on felt safety, we are going to explore all the ways our kids (and ourselves) are neuroceiving safety or danger from what’s happening in the environment. In this episode, you’ll learn Misconceptions about felt safety External (outside) cues of felt safety, such as the environment, sensory experiences, s…

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REPLAY: Felt Safety (Inside) - Part 1 49:10

3M ago49:10

49:10

Let’s go back to basics! Last week we talked about seeing behavior through the lens of the nervous system and then took a deep-dive into co-regulation. This week begins a three-part deep-dive into the foundational concept of felt safety. What is felt safety, what isn’t felt safety, and why it matters! Next we will explore the many different ways we…

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EP 203: An Underwhelming Grand Reveal! 7:58

3M ago7:58

7:58

Hey everyone, this is Alex, Robyn's son and podcast editor. To be 100% honest, we forgot to record a podcast for this week. Luckily, I have stepped in to fill the podcast void and to make my grand reveal! In this episode, you’ll learn What my voice sounds like! Why we didn't get a new episode out for y'all. Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.…

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EP 202: Low-Demand Holidays 41:54

4M ago41:54

41:54

We think a lot about how to lower demands for our kids, but in this episode we’re going to talk about how we can lower demands for ourselves, specifically during the holiday season. Regardless of where you live in the world and what holidays you do or don’t celebrate, it’s hard to avoid the extra stress that comes in December. In this episode, you’…

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EP 201: Walking on Eggshells 31:03

4M ago31:03

31:03

Living with someone with a vulnerable nervous system almost certainly leaves you feeling like you are walking on eggshells. It’s that sense of not knowing what’s going to happen next, having to tread lightly, and being constantly at risk of making a misstep that will trigger the other person. In today’s episode, we are going to break down the neuro…

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Ep. 200!: Gratitude for Our Watchdog & Possum Parts 34:46

4M ago34:46

34:46

In this special 200th episode, we’re exploring how to bring compassion, curiosity, and gratitude to our kids’ (and our own) “Watchdog” and “Possum” parts as overworked companions trying their best to help us survive. With acceptance and understanding, we can help these parts rest and integrate, creating space for true change. We also look at the un…

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Ep. 199: Scaffolding Relational Skills as Brain Skills with Eileen Devine 1:05:08

4M ago1:05:08

1:05:08

The brain is the brain is the brain. All behaviors have their origin in the brain. But for some behaviors, it is easy to lose sight of this important truth. Behaviors that would be easy to label as manipulative or controlling or selfish just feel so personal! But if we can remember that even relational skills are brain-based skills, we can reclaim …

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REPLAY: Titrating Connection (Oppositional Series - Part 4) 46:24

5M ago46:24

46:24

In this episode, I unravel how to extend connection to our children while acknowledging that some might see this connection as a threat. I offer insights on toning down the demand for connection, enabling our children to relax in it, and thereby strengthen their stress response system. I also reference the previous episodes in this four-part series…

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REPLAY: When Connection isn't Safe (Oppositional Series - Part 3) 37:45

5M ago37:45

37:45

If offering safety and connection is the antidote to oppositional behavior, what do you do if connection isn’t experienced as safe or regulating by your child? In this episode you’ll learn: How connection and protection can get tied together How to keep offering connection, even when it’s consistently rejected by your child The science behind why Y…

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REPLAY: Strategies for Oppositional Behavior (Oppositional Series - Part 2) 47:03

5M ago47:03

47:03

Last week we talked about the science of oppositional behavior. This week, let’s look at strategies to help children rest into felt safety so their nervous system feels better and their oppositional protective strategies can decrease. In this episode you’ll learn: An invitation to consider some of our cultural beliefs around opposition in the paren…

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REPLAY: Oppositional And Defiant Behavior (Oppositional Series - Part 1) 46:18

5M ago46:18

46:18

What if oppositional behavior is a normal response to feeling unsafe? In this episode, we unfold the layers of oppositional behavior and its roots in the nervous system. We look into the diagnostic complexities of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and dive into how our own state of the nervous system is important in helping our children navigate their …

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Ep. 198: All Behavior Makes Sense 47:22

6M ago47:22

47:22

All behavior makes sense and no behavior is maladaptive- in the moment that behavior emerges. Of course, the IMPACT of the behavior might be maladaptive and absolutely many behaviors need to change. But understanding that all behavior makes perfect sense at the moment it emerges is the lynchpin in offering folks co-regulation, connection, and felt-…

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EP 197: How Can the Club Help Me? 38:40

6M ago38:40

38:40

It’s really important to me and my team that you have all the information you might need when making the decision to join The Club- or not. The Club is open for new members now, October 1-8, 2024, and I recorded this episode based on some of the most commonly asked questions In this episode, you’ll learn What The Club even is and why it’s different…

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EP 196: Whiplash! When a Meltdown Comes Outta Nowhere 34:43

6M ago34:43

34:43

Whiplash. You probably know what I mean. You start to be lulled into a life with fewer meltdowns, or less intensity. Then BOOM. An old behavior seems to explode out of nowhere. You’re right back to feeling like everything’s awful or it’ll never get better or you’ll have to live like this forever. You might even be frustrated with yourself that you …

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EP 195: Self Regulation Doesn't Exist (2nd Edition) 35:39

6M ago35:39

35:39

If self-regulation doesn't really exist- then what do we mean when we talk about self-regulation? And why does it matter? In this episode, you’ll learn What self-regulation REALLY is How “self” regulation develop Why you should still teach self-regulation skills Resources mentioned in this podcast: What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81} …

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EP 194: Improving Connections Between Home and School with Jessica Sinarski 58:44

6M ago58:44

58:44

We could never have too many ideas about how to cultivate connections between home and school. Author of Light Up the Learning Brain (and Riley the Brave) Jessica Sinarski shares practical ideas that can help parents and schools work together to support kids with vulnerable nervous systems. In this episode, you’ll learn Practical, easy-to-implement…

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EP 193: Why So Controlling? 37:27

7M ago37:27

37:27

Parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems is practically synonymous with “controlling.” Our kids are controlling and for most of us, if we were honest, we’d notice that the stress of parenting is causing us to get controlling, too. Why? In this episode, you’ll learn Why protection mode almost always leads to an increase in controlling behavior…

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EP 192: Is Co-Regulation Just Coddling?? 36:08

7M ago36:08

36:08

Almost every time I teach, especially if there are folks in the audience not already familiar with my work or the concept of co-regulation, someone asks the very valid question of- “Isn’t this (co-regulation) just coddling?” Fair question! There are a lot of underlying assumptions and fears in this question that we will deconstruct in today’s episo…

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REPLAY: When Your Child Won't Talk About Their Watchdog and Possum Brain 50:26

7M ago50:26

50:26

This episode originally aired on November 7th, 2023 Does your child yell, scream, or otherwise refuse to talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brain? They tell you it’s stupid or tell you to stop talking or get extra silly or just don’t talk? I hear this from a LOT of parents (and I experienced it a lot in the play therapy room). This doesn’t m…

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REPLAY: Can I Teach My Child About Their Brain? 22:57

7M ago22:57

22:57

This episode originally aired February 17th, 2023 I’ve been listening for a while and the watchdog and possum brain ideas have really helped me. Is it OK to teach this to my kids too? I’m worried they’ll start using it as excuses. I get this question all the time! If we teach our kids about the watchdog and possum brain are they going to start sayi…

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EP 191: Helping Siblings with Verbal Aggression 40:15

7M ago40:15

40:15

Does your child with a vulnerable nervous system say mean, hurtful, taunting, or aggressive things to your other kids? You already know you can’t control what comes out of someone else’s mouth, so what do you do??? How do you help your kids deal with their sibling’s verbal aggression? In this episode, you’ll learn Steps to help increase your childr…

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EP 190: When Two (or more) Kids Are Dysregulated at Once! 38:56

8M ago38:56

38:56

What on earth should you do when you have more than one child dysregulated at the same time? You’re outnumbered, you’re overwhelmed. Now what? In this episode, you’ll learn The #1 step to take when more than one kid is dysregulated What to prioritize How to have realistic expectations for yourself Resources mentioned in this podcast: Child Always D…

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EP 189: How to Help Siblings During a Meltdown 35:46

8M ago35:46

35:46

If you are a regular listener here on The Baffling Behavior Show, big, baffling behaviors and big meltdowns are no longer surprising in your home. Even if we can’t predict those moments of 'Back-Off or, 'Attack' Watchdog, "Shut Down' or, 'Play Dead' Possum, we can predict that it is going to happen again. You can create felt safety for the other ch…

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EP 188: Grief as the Sibling of a Child with Special Needs 38:16

8M ago38:16

38:16

Grief is hard to acknowledge and talk about. The truth is, there is grief involved with being the sibling of a child with a special need. In today’s episode, we’re exploring how to support the siblings of kids with a nervous system disability with behavior-based symptoms with all their feelings, especially grief. In this episode, you’ll learn How t…

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EP 187: Teach Siblings about Owls, Watchdogs, and Possums... Without Excusing! 37:23

8M ago37:23

37:23

One way we can support the siblings of kids with big, baffling behaviors is to teach them about owls, watchdogs, and possums (or some way to understand the brain and behaviors) as well as to teach them about nervous system vulnerabilities and ‘overactive’ watchdog and possum brains! In this episode, you’ll learn Steps to take when teaching siblings…

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EP 186: Helping Siblings Understand "Unfair" Parenting 44:18

9M ago44:18

44:18

Do you have kids who feel like the way you parent their sibling (the one with the worst behavior!!!) is unfair? We’ll be tackling different topics on how to support siblings over the next month. In this episode, you’ll learn The five things to consider when thinking about how to help siblings understand ‘unfair’ parenting Are you parenting all your…

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EP 185: Setting Boundaries that Stick with Juliane Taylor Shore and Therapist Uncensored 1:01:33

9M ago1:01:33

1:01:33

Something new and unexpected here on The Baffling Behavior Show! This episode is actually from the Therapist Uncensored Podcast with Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley. Sue and Ann interviewed one of y'alls FAVORITES- Juliane Taylor Shore. Juliane was on The Baffling Behavior Show a long time ago, talking about psychological boundaries and verbal aggressi…

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EP 184: How to Not Care what Other People Think 47:35

9M ago47:35

47:35

Parents of kids with baffling behaviors are CONSTANTLY being judged by others. How do we get to a point where we don’t care as much about what other people think? In this episode, we’ll explore: Some of the most common judgments that parents of kids with baffling behaviors receive How it’s actually not possible to not care at all, but we can care L…

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REPLAY: How Behavior Changes 29:11

9M ago29:11

29:11

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ~Carl Rogers You know, one of my favorite things about studying relational neuroscience is discovering the science that proves things we’ve known all along. Not everyone needs the science, and I know some think the science detracts from the powerful truths that peop…

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EP 183: Is Watchdog and Possum Behavior Always Protective? 30:12

9M ago30:12

30:12

Do the Watchdog and Possum pathway only activate in protection mode? Are they always protective? NO! It is possible to have safe and connected Watchdog energy and safe and connected Possum energy! Why does this distinction matter? In this episode, you’ll learn What safe and connected watchdog energy feels like What safe and connected possum energy …

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REPLAY: Scaffolding is a Form of Co-Regulation 50:08

9M ago50:08

50:08

What does my child need for their success to be inevitable? If I wanted to paint the top of a 20 foot wall, I’d rent some scaffolding. Scaffolding makes the floor higher and would get me as close to the top of the wall as I needed. The scaffolding would help make my success inevitable. It’s not the only thing I need to be successful (paint would co…

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Ep 182: There Is Nothing Wrong With You! With Guest Janet Nordine 54:46

10M ago54:46

54:46

Janet Nordine is a registered play therapist, adoptee, and mental health activist working tirelessly to improve children’s mental health services, specifically in the state of Nevada. Janet has an important message for adoptees that I think is relevant to all kids and families who are supporting kids with vulnerable nervous systems: There is nothin…

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REPLAY: Co-Regulation Before Self-Regulation 34:31

10M ago34:31

34:31

Self-regulation is a crucial developmental milestone and I’m thrilled that we are turning our eyes toward self-regulation instead of staying focused on behavior modification through rewards and consequences. At the same time, we must remember that self-regulation is developed through repeated and regular experiences of co-regulation with an attuned…

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