SDP 009 Identify and cut TOXIC PEOPLE out of your life.

Socially Disabled Podcast

#toxicpeople #badrelationships #badfriends
I cover the many degrees of toxic people and how to deal with them on an individual level.
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Special thanks to "Unveil the Strength" for use of the song "Hells Never over", https://unveilthestrength.us/home
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SO WHAT IS IT THAT QUALIFIES A PERSON IN YOUR LIFE AS “TOXIC”? IN THIS EPISODE
LETS BREAK IT DOWN AND FIGURE OUT HOW TO END IT…..RIGHT NOW!
DEALING WITH TOXIC PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE
o What are toxic people (people that cause you stress and anxiety)
o Degrees of toxicity (from annoying to abusive)
o Toxicity robs you of energy and potential because we are a reflection of our environment.
Evaluate the circumstances and eliminate toxicity
o Work relationships (bosses, coworkers, clients, subordinates, classmates)
o Social relationships (friends, casual acquaintances, neighbors, service providers)
o Intimate relationships (romantic relationships)
o Family relationships (relatives, your own children and step children, in-laws)
o Brief relationships (encounters, vendors, random people)
Types of toxicity
o Self-limiting (victims)
o Users (only interested in their wants and needs)
o Rigid belief system (religious or political)
o Angry or violent people (verbally or physically abusive)
o Drama prone people (the world is out to get me, and gossipers)
o Criminals (straight up bad guys, crooks)
o People with addictions (from heroin to video games)
How to deal with toxic people
o Set boundaries and maintain them
o Sometimes just a conversation will change the circumstances if you are specific IE: I don’t like this, please do this instead.
o If they value the relationship then they will work on it. So ask them how you can help them achieve this goal.
o Ask for permission to remind them that they agreed to work on this.
Some people may take offense to the mention of their toxicity.
o Dealing with confrontation conflict
o Don’t get caught up in the pity party
o Do not engage with an argument
o Limit the contact until things settle down
o Remove yourself from the situation
o Do not provoke just let them unload
o Maintain emotional awareness and never get baited into anger
o Seek help if necessary
If the situation will not improve CUT THEM OUT it doesn’t matter who it is.
o What is the relationship
o Are you dependent or are they dependent and why is that?
If you are dependent…
o Work on your situation
o Limit dependency and develop self sufficiency
o Limit your exposure to those people
o Think long term in your planning
o Slowly distance yourself from them
o Add more positive exposure to you daily routine.
o Associations
o Self help
o Books and seminars
o Advanced training
If they are dependent…
o Set strict boundaries clear consequences
o Make the consequences self-enforcing if possible
o Enforce all violations of those boundaries
o Never entertain a POOR ME argument
o Refuse to be manipulated
o Help them to develop their independence
o Last resort, cut them off, you deserve respect at all times.
If is just a casual relationship, work or an old friend.
o Sit down and discuss it
o Just stop dealing with them
o End the relationship
o Relocate if possible
o Negative self-talk is learned, self-imposed, and detrimental to success and happiness.
o Confidence doesn’t mean arrogance
o Avoid negative self-talk at all times
o Know that you deserve better, and you are the engineer of your circumstances. Take charge and accept nothing less.